A woman is standing nude in the mirror. and asks her husband "I feel FAT and Ugly, pay me a compliment" she says.......... Hubby says ..............."Your eyesight is dam near perfect"
2007-08-07 07:46:54 · 15 answers · asked by russbillen 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
hihih...good one...here;s another one for you
Speeding
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:
Captain: Sir, may I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.
Captain: Whose car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card. The driver owned the car.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem. Trunk is opened; no body.
Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
Driver: Really? Ain't that something? And I'll bet the lying sucker told you I was speeding, too ...
CHeeRIoS
2007-08-07 07:49:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
OMG! THat is soooo funny. Mean, but funny. Good joke. I hope you dont mind if I spread it around! lol..
2007-08-07 14:49:27 · answer #2 · answered by Rhianna 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lolololololololol sooo funny and yes its for the guys
2007-08-07 14:49:02 · answer #3 · answered by nata l 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Holy Sh!t that dude is getting his marbles kicked! Great joke! LMFAO!!!
2007-08-07 15:53:10 · answer #4 · answered by the Tramp 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry I'm not a guy, but i still liked that!
2007-08-07 14:52:39 · answer #5 · answered by wdh25 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love it! Star for you!
2007-08-07 20:21:00 · answer #6 · answered by Chewie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh HA HA HA! took me a while but i finnally caught it!
2007-08-08 10:10:45 · answer #7 · answered by ♥I LOVE DILLON♥ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
haha good one
2007-08-07 14:49:30 · answer #8 · answered by theboss 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
clever
2007-08-07 14:49:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i like it
2007-08-07 14:49:40 · answer #10 · answered by Ryan L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋