Two weeks ago, my family all went out for a big dinner to celebrate a 30th wedding anniversary.
My husband's elderly grandmother is staying with us for a while, until we can find a nice care facility for her (she needs the medical care). Anyway, this lady is in her 80's and suffers terribly from diabetic foot infections, and she wears kind of a bootie/foam shoe as she cannot wear normal footwear. The maitre'd and then the manager both refused to let her in -it's kind of a ritzy place-because she wasn't wearing 'proper attire'! We literally had to turn around and take the poor thing home! I was so mad, and did get a little verbal with the manager (we explained why she couldn't wear shoes), he was rude first, but did I over react? Also, would you follow this up with a letter of complaint?
2007-08-07 06:41:44 · 16 answers · asked by Sonja 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
No you didn't over react. I probably would have lost my mind if somebody did that to me. You should most definitely file a complaint, I would actually go a little further too: I would write a letter of complaint to send to the restaurant, and then I would file a complaint with the better business bureau (or what ever takes care of things like that where you are).
I can understand having a "dress-code" at a ritzy restaurant, and I can understand turning somebody away if they are breaking the "dress-code" by wearing sneakers, or jeans, or something. However, I CAN NOT understand how they could be so stuck up and snobby as to turn away an 80 year old woman who can't wear normal footwear due to a medical condition.
To me it seems as though the manager and the maitre-d took their "authority" way to far, and that needs to be taken care of properly.
Good Luck. :-)
2007-08-07 06:53:12 · answer #1 · answered by Peatea 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Unbelievable!! I would absolutely write a letter of complaint. I wonder if the manager on duty was new or something and didn't have a clue. How rude can you be? I would almost bet that you would receive an apology and an invitation to return for dinner on the establishment. I would think that this type of refusal would be illegal. They should be ashamed!
2007-08-07 16:35:53 · answer #2 · answered by turkeybrooknj 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The restaurant can refuse service to anyone. And they can enact any type of dress code. That does not mean however that they were appropriate in their actions. A letter would be fine, just be direct and to the point. Let the person know that you understand their policy but that the manner in which the manager handled it was unacceptable. Don't make demands etc, Play on their sympathy a bit, a little guilt never hurt. Good luck.
2007-08-07 15:32:56 · answer #3 · answered by D squared 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The maitre'd was an idiot, but at least you didn't have to endure an evening there, because if that is how they treat their guests, the service probably would have sucked.
I wouldn't worry about a letter of complaint. I would just vote with my money and not go there anymore.
Hope you found a nice place for you all to go and enjoy your dinner!
2007-08-07 06:47:13 · answer #4 · answered by Rob 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would have been pretty angry unless they were masterful in how they brought it up. Unless they were discrete, apologetic, and made a big deal of explaining that it was corporate policy and out of their control, I probably would have had to fight the urge to cause a scene.
I would definitely try to speak to the owner or someone else above the manager. That discrimination against the physically disabled and it's worth bringing it to the newspapers and TV news outlets, too.
2007-08-07 07:07:55 · answer #5 · answered by x_patriate 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the other answers. Her rights were clearly violated. It sounds to me like you really showed restraint. I'm sure I would have completely lost it. I have a blind friend who was refused service at a restaurant once because of her seeing eye dog. She came back with the police who dealt with the manager. It turned out the manager just wasn't aware of that law. Stands up for your rights and those of others...make a stink out of this.
2007-08-07 06:57:08 · answer #6 · answered by Some Guy 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I'd sue under the disabilities act. Realistically, this is a lawsuit happy country that only makes money for the lawyers. A letter of complaint will probably get better results.
2007-08-07 06:46:06 · answer #7 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 7⤊ 1⤋
As long as her foot was covered and there were no sores visible, they should not have done this! how sad for this poor lady, I imagine she was quite embarrassed. I would definitely not let the matter drop, contact the owner if you have to! your family,especially the Grandma deserves and apology!
2007-08-07 06:56:06 · answer #8 · answered by Angela C 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
what they did was illegal under the Americans with Disabilities Act.
They simply cannot legally refuse her service because of a disability related to diabetes. rules about proper attire cannot include prohibitions against medical devices. would they refuse service to someone in a cast? to a blind person wearing dark glasses? i would actually threaten to sue in the letter of complaint, not as a way to make quick money, but to prevent them from treating others this way.
don't worry about your reaction, you're human and it sounds like it was appropriate.
2007-08-07 06:48:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 10⤊ 1⤋
Yes, write a letter to complain, and send a copy to your local media outlet. They could have seated her somewhere out of the way where other people wouldn't have been bothered by her wounds.
2007-08-07 06:46:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 0⤋