Help!How do I get rid of this insecurity?I am hurt when someone i like gets the attention of my close friend.?

Question

I'm 20 & single. I'm a fresh College graduate.Now I'm working for awhile in my aunt's biz.Before, i promised myself to focus on my studies so i would finish my studies without any distractions from having a boyfriend. I was secure of myself & busy with my studies that i have no time for love. I was happy & contented. But recently, i get jealous seeing my co-worker being liked by a guy that i liked.I don't understand why i get angry at myself & i felt mad at her hearing them talking so sweet & flirting w/ each other.I felt so bad at myself why i can't make him like me.I may not be that pretty but i'm prim & proper,an average-looking gal.I'm 5'2"in height,fair-skinned & slim.I know it's bad that i'm envious at my friend for being charming,sweet & pretty that made this guy i liked to fall for her & not me.I tried to discourage myself saying "Hey, he's 2 yrs. younger than you, he's not worth it,there's still other guys around.".But still it hurts so much deep inside.I can't get over it.

Answer 1

No offense but the issue goes deeper then just those two. Your still not comfrontable with you. See jeaously is an interesting feeling, it comes from the emotion of anger/frustration. Which means your ether anger at her for not doing as you do, and what your really feeling is anger that she doesn't change, fly right, and get with your program (granted this isn't the way you think, but the way you might feel) The other hand is frustration, which is self directed anger which seems more true for you, in that your not COMPLETELY sure your doing right for yourself, that you've made the right choices, that your living life in a way that truly makes you happy and contented. The only fix ether way is you accepting that maybe, just maybe, YOUR JUST FINE!!! Relax hunnie, your doing good things, then beating yourself up about it? You need some better friends;) again no offense, but if you had a great friend there you could voice some of these feelings and make some head way with getting comfrontable with you. ITs not easy but also a good start is actually accepting that your doing just great playing your own games, going your own path, living your own life, screw it if it does always get you the cheap thrills others just can't seem to let go of, thats there life, not yours. Be happy with you are else this will be the tip of the ice-berg. Shoot god forbid that you actually get a charater that LOVES you for YOU, but your not comfrontable with YOU. I know that sounds werid but it is one of the big issues that destroyes relationships even before they state. It doesn't make sense to have someone love you, when you can't do it yourself, right? Theres alot more to all this and your starting to see the light, shoot colleage slams you with it, but it comes down to that simple phrase really. KNOW THY SELF