I was married twice, and my second husband died several years ago, so I have only one living ex-husband. Now I am planning to convert to Catholicism, something I thought I'd never do. The people at my church know I am divorced, and I've known a couple of other divorced women who've converted, so I know it has been done. My question is, what if I wanted to get married again? I understand I couldn't marry in the Church unless my first marriage was annulled. What is the Church's view on civil marriages for divorced individuals? I also have a close relative who's a Protestant clergyman. I'm very fond of him. What would be the Church's view of his officiating at my wedding?
I realize this is a bit premature, but I really want to know. Thanks.
2007-08-07 04:55:26 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
After reading the replies, I think I'll just stay single. Seriously. Thanks for taking the time to reply and giving me a lot to think about.
2007-08-07 05:30:15 · update #1
All previous marriages, civil or religious, have to be dealt with before someone can be married in the Catholic Church.
The Catholic Church believes that God does not recognize civil divorces.
Jesus said, "Therefore what God has joined together, no human being must separate." (Mark 10:9)
However there may be hope of a declaration of nullity.
The term "annulment" is a misnomer because the Church does not undo or erase a marriage bond.
Rather the Church issues a declaration of nullity when it discovers that the parties were not truly joined by God and hence a full spiritual sacramental marriage as understood by the Church was not present.
Then the parties are free to marry for the first time.
Approach the appropriate person your in your parish who has been trained in the process. If you encounter difficulties, you may go directly to the diocese.
Be prayerful, honest and patient. It takes a while.
With love in Christ.
2007-08-07 16:32:28 · answer #1 · answered by imacatholic2 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about being "premature" because it's always better to have as many facts as early as possible.
There are many, many divorced Catholics these days, just like in any other church, so these issues have to be dealt with all the time.
If you ever want to marry again, you're right, your first marriage would have to be annulled. You might consider going ahead with that process now, because it can take some time. As long as you are living chastely in single life, you can fully participate in the Church, even though you are divorced. But should you meet somebody and fall in love, it would be nice to have the first marriage already annulled so that you wouldn't have to wait on the new relationship until that first marriage is taken care of.
That being said, you do know that not all applicants are granted decrees of nullity, right? If a marriage is deemed valid, there is no way the Church can issue the decree of nullity. If that would be the situation with your first marriage, it would be best to know it ASAP, so that you would know how to address any future romance as long as your first husband is still living. Another vote for applying for annulment straight away.
The Church recognizes civil marriages as legally binding, but not sacramentally valid, whether the participant is divorced or not.
Regarding your relative who is Protestant, in MOST dioceses in the U.S., he would be allowed to participate in the nuptial rite, but he wouldn't be allowed to do certain parts that only a priest can do. The rules vary greatly, so you'd have to check with your local parish on that one, and there's probably no need to do that until you are engaged.
Welcome to Catholicism, btw! I am also a convert and it has been a life-changing experience, all for good.
2007-08-07 12:05:41 · answer #2 · answered by sparki777 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You cannot get married in the church without an annullment. This is because you are still married to your ex-husband in the eyes of God and therefore the Church.
If you get married in a civil ceremony you cannot receive Eucharist because your civil ceremony will not be recognized by the Church...you will be living in sin because you are still married to you ex-husband. This a mortal sin and you cannot receive Eucharist in a state of mortal sin.
If you are a Catholic the Church would not allow a Protestant minister to officiate at your wedding. If you did it anyway, again, your marriage would not be recognized because of the same reason. You would not be able to receive.
I am a convert to Catholicism. I was divorced when I became Catholic. I was dating a man at the time and then married him in a civil ceremony. I did not receive Eucharist for 3 years while I applied for and finally received my annulment. Then I scheduled to have my marriage blessed and validated by the Church. I went to confession, then did not have relations with my husband until our marriage was validated. This allowed me to receive Eucharist again.
The reasons the Church requires these things is because they cannot change the law of God. You made a vow to your ex-husband and to God. You cannot just break that vow by getting a civil divorce. God and the Church are not ruled by the laws of society. It is for your salvation...to keep you from living in mortal sin and endangering your eternal soul, that the Church has these requirements. This is her purpose.
It was difficult but so worth all that I did to get my marriage blessed. Even when I couldn't receieve Eucharist, I would take my Pieta to Mass and say the "spiritual communion" during the distribution of the Eucharist. I grew in my faith and my love for Christ in those years. By the time I was able to receive again..it was amazing. I am so thankful each Sunday that I can be a part of this sacrament now.
Please pray about your future. Start the annulment process...there are not guarantees that you'll get one, but you need to attempt it. Even if there is no one in your life right now, you want to be free to marry in the church when that day comes. Accept all that God gives you with praise and thankfulness. Remember there is a great abundance of grace in obediance and sacrifice.
2007-08-07 12:24:38 · answer #3 · answered by Misty 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The church would not recognize a civil marriage or a protestant officiating,you would be unable to receive communion unless you applied for dispensation. you must contact a catholic priest for clarification, good luck to you.
2007-08-07 12:10:20 · answer #4 · answered by joe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well ask the priest, but as I recall they don't really consider that you married before unless it was a Catholic wedding.
And a Catholic wedding means that the priest officiates.
2007-08-07 12:00:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
in the Catholic Church, if your marriage was made outside the Church, it is void and null. I'm not sure. just ask the local parish priest for more details.
2007-08-07 11:58:53 · answer #6 · answered by Perceptive 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You might be committing some kind of sin, but the church would welcome you anyway. The church would NOT be happy about you essentially having a Protestant wedding, but still would welcome you anyway.
The only trouble would come from fellow parishioners. The church does not judge.
2007-08-07 12:00:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You have a lot of valid questions and they should be taken to your Priest.
It's his job to help you through this process and he can give you the answers you need.
2007-08-07 12:03:05 · answer #8 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Isn't all this a bit premature?
2007-08-07 12:01:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
They wouldn't recognize the marriage and in their eyes you'd be an adulterer.
2007-08-07 11:58:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 4⤋