I got a letter from the ex mom n law.. she wrote "I blame you because you have continued to allow him(her 38yr old son)to ignore the boys and not putting your foot down and asking that he be the father he is supposed to be. I know it's kind of a weird question to understand. But her son has very minimal connect with his 11 and 15 yr old. He appears once every 2-3 mths and just ends up upsetting the youngest. We live a mile away and he never returns the boys or my calls. So we quit calling him. Is it fair of her to blame me for anything another human chooses to do? Her son does not want to be involved in two fantastic kids lives? P.S. I'm debating how to approach replying...She has been a good part of our life. However now I'm having a hard time trusting her. Just looking for opinions. Thanks
2007-08-07 04:37:48 · 11 answers · asked by sc17carter 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I would ignore the letter and not reply. Ridiculousness like that does not deserve a response. You know the truth and clearly, she's only interested in her side of things. She doesn't know your life and it's incredibly presumptuous for the woman who raised him to try to blame his behavior on you.
and by the way, how cowardly of her to write a letter instead of talking to you.
2007-08-07 04:47:26 · answer #1 · answered by LB 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've dealt with what an ex mother in law that I thought was trying to help me out with my son. Later I find some things that she had done that could have gotten him taken out of my home. I come to realize that no matter how much she said that she would help us, my ex was still HER son and ultimately her loyalty was with him. My ex hasn't seen our son in probably close to 3 years so I really do understand you. As far as replying, not sure how you could approach. I would just throw the "Poor Me" letters in the trash when I got them. I just never felt like I could trust her anymore and any contact could end up being something that I had to deal with later. Good Luck and tell your children to always keep their heads up. They are great people no matter what their dad chooses to do!!
2007-08-07 11:44:33 · answer #2 · answered by Paula 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Explain to her that her son chooses not to be a part of his sons' lives - that he doesn't return calls from his sons or he doesn't want to spend time with them. She is just looking for someone to blame for her son's faults. She's looking for an easy way out of this problem.
2007-08-07 11:44:28 · answer #3 · answered by love_me_or_hate_me 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you dont owe her any explanation about the business between you and your x.....so dont reply and give her that satisfaction of explaning yourself................if your x doesnt want to be a part of the kids lifes, nobody can force him too. but you make the choice to let him keep hurting the youngest one or not. you need to look out for the best interest of your kids. i have a 5 year old and his dad hasnt seen or talked to him in 2 years....if he would ever to call or come knock on the door....i would let my son decide weither he wants to see him or not........
2007-08-07 11:49:48 · answer #4 · answered by $martA$$.com 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Flip the script on her and blame HER for her son's ineptitude as a parent.
Seriously, though, I would say to just shoot her a note that tells her that you tried, but he IS your ex for a reason and you cannot be held responsible for his actions. Maybe she should say something to her own son.
2007-08-07 11:52:16 · answer #5 · answered by mike w 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just reply and tell her that her son is a grown man and you do not control his actions. If you really want to get snotty with her, suggest that it was his upbringing that caused him to turn out this way. She'll probably never speak to you again either after that.
2007-08-07 11:42:12 · answer #6 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I had to go back and read what your former "mom"-in-law wrote to you again .It is hard to believe that the person who is responsible for his ideas about parenting is trying to pass the buck. You are the loving parent who is guiding these young men to manhood. Perhaps, their sperm donor's actions will make them better Fathers.
2007-08-07 11:55:57 · answer #7 · answered by jcf6865 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just ignore her, you don't have to relpy, she might use your relpy for court in future, so keep her letters but don't send any relpys
& as his mother she should know her son better than anyone else so why blame you when she know her own son & how he is
2007-08-07 11:46:59 · answer #8 · answered by maya 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to blame away...if the father doesn't want anything to do with the boys, forcing him is evil...screw him,,,,it's his loss..
2007-08-07 11:42:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should reply that you would appreciate if she kept out of the problems you and your ex have, as it's nothing to do with her.
2007-08-07 11:42:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋