A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park. As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway. The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast out and headed home. Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat! He kept taking the cat further and further and the cat would always beat him home. At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there.
Hours later the man calls home to his wife: "Jen, is the cat there?"
"Yes", the wife answers, "why do you ask?"
Frustrated, the man answered, "Put that son of a bi*ch on the phone, I'm lost and need directions.
2007-08-07 04:21:16 · 39 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
good one
2007-08-07 04:23:40 · answer #1 · answered by smars442002 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I liked it, here's one back at ya...
European Heighten Threat Levels
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist
threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to
"Peeved". Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to
"Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross". Londoners have not been "A Bit
Cross" since the blitz began in 1940 and tea supplies all but ran
out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody
Nuisance". The last time the British issued "A Bloody Nuisance"
warning level was during the great fire of 1666.
Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised
its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher
levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was
precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag
factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.
It's not only the English and French who are on a heightened level of
alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and
excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain:
"Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."
The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful
Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also
have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose".
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the
only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to
deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new
Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
2007-08-07 11:13:03 · answer #2 · answered by Jay L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Funny! 100!
2016-05-20 22:54:35 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Funny, Reminds me of that song from a long time ago, The cat came back: The cat came back,the cat came back, I thought he was agonna but the cat came back 'cause he wouldn't stay away, yeah!
2007-08-07 05:35:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
star 4 u
2007-08-07 04:26:34 · answer #5 · answered by mom of 3 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hahaha star 4 u
2007-08-07 04:27:01 · answer #6 · answered by cass_muffin 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
LoL!* Gd 1 hehe!* Funny!*
xxxx <3* xxxx
2007-08-07 04:24:45 · answer #7 · answered by Hunni Bunni xx 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
dude i already asked that question like a week ago but its still funny lol i love that joke
2007-08-07 06:41:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
okay i'll admit at first i thought omg another stupid cat story but this one was actually kind of funny!!!
STAR for YOU
2007-08-07 04:58:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Super nice!
2007-08-07 05:50:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Heard it before. Get your own jokes.
2007-08-07 04:47:40 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋