Without going into too much detail, a woman that my husband and I frequently work with as volunteers, is rude and abrupt to me, and appears to dislike working with or talking to me. My husband doesn't perceive a problem with her, nor does she appear to have any problem with him. Is this a personality conflict, or just my perception of the situation, or what?
2007-08-07 03:30:52 · 11 answers · asked by mom of 2 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I'd say it's her problem.......since you've none nothing to offend her, her reaction (or over-reaction) to you is groundless. I'd just discount her, and continue on my merry way, being distant but civil. If it's a misunderstanding on her part, she may eventually "make nice", and if not, so be it.
2007-08-07 03:40:35 · answer #1 · answered by GEEGEE 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Unless you are a completely insensitive person, you can usually tell if someone is not behaving in a friendly manner.
Unfortunately, we can't get on with everyone in the world.
If you wish to continue volunteering for this organisation, you will have to work with her again, so you have little choice but to behave with every courtesy and ignore her behaviour, as long as she does not become actibvely hostile.
If she DOES start behaving in a hostile way (apart from her normal bad attitude), you must let the volunteer group know and ask to be separated from her for your shifts.
You could also confront her and ask if there is a problem, or you could set out to become friendly with her by taking an active interest in her, asking after her family, etc. Either way risks upsetting the apple cart totally and making it impossible for the three of you to work together, which will only harm the organisation you work for.
It also really depends how much effort you wish to put into the relationship ~ if the answer is 'not that much', then simply be polite during your shift, and ignore her rude behaviour.
Best wishes and good luck :-)
2007-08-07 10:44:40 · answer #2 · answered by thing55000 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Has she been "rude/abrupt" or anything else you accuse her of in front of your husband? I am asking because your question is about perception. So far by what I've read I would have to take your perception of the situation because you didn't describe any situation in which she's has acted the way you're labeling her actions. I think that if you included at least two examples of the behavior she's shown to you, others responders here could tell you whether or not they would describe her behavior towards you the same way you're labeling it.
Good luck.
2007-08-07 10:47:27 · answer #3 · answered by MG 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Not everyone you meet is going to like you. On the other hand, not everyone you meet you are going to like. There are just different people with different personalities and you guys just don't mesh well together.
You only see this person a few hours a week I'm assuming. I would just let it be. I know it's incredibly frustrating when you think that someone doesn't like you for apparently no good reason. You didn't do anything wrong, so why should they feel like that?
Just go about your day like she doesn't matter b/c in reality, she doesn't matter! You are who you are. You have a circle of friends that do like you and family that loves you. You don't need to impress one grumpy person. It's not going to make or break who you are.
Who knows, maybe if you stop worrying about her not liking you and you go about your volunteer work, she'll eventually turn around and you guys could develop a mutual respect for each other.
2007-08-07 10:48:08 · answer #4 · answered by Not quite perfect 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
usually your gut instinct is correct. If you don't feel threatened by her in any way then I would say that she has the problem. Seeing as she gets along with your husband you may be her problem. I am not suggesting that she is out to get your husband but may be she just doesn't like you with him. I have had a similar problem before. The women liked my husband but detested me. I finally approached her , very respectfully, and asked what was the problem, she told me she did not think I deserved him ( husband) and that he could do better. I told her she didn't even know me. but she never gave me the chance so I just ignored her too.
2007-08-07 10:45:01 · answer #5 · answered by Mrs T 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
no offense to guys but they often miss subtle signs that women send to each other. For what ever reason she has issues with you. She may be being nice to hubby just to get your goat. I'd ignore her if possible and/or be super nice to her. If other people are around she'll have to be nice in return or show herself to be a snot. Kill 'er with kindness and if that doesn't work then say 'nice' things like "Men are so clueless arent' they? *John* and I were talking the other day and I commented on how pretty your (insert something) was. I coukdn't believe he hadn't noticed! Where did you get/buy/find etc.... it?
That's still killing her with kindness and telling her that your husband pays her no mind in case she's after him.
Good luck with this.
2007-08-07 10:46:35 · answer #6 · answered by sorryfoot 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
She probably just has a problem with you.
I would put nasty ideas into your head about her and your husband having an affair, but that's not the case. What's really going on is that she's a natural enemy of yours. Occasionally, we meet people who, in other scenarios, would be good candidates for a duel to the death. Both of you practice extraordinary and perfect etiquette by not slashing each other's throats.
2007-08-07 10:40:08 · answer #7 · answered by Deino 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It might be a little of both. I suggest killing her with kindness. That tears people up more than anything. Don't give her a reason to no like you. She may have already had preconceive feelings about you.
2007-08-07 10:40:31 · answer #8 · answered by cat.tails 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She dislike you. STop working with her. Take both your volunteer work elsewhere.
2007-08-07 11:26:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds to me like she wants your hubby. I'd limit the time my husband and I spend with this woman.
2007-08-07 10:36:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋