How do you address an adult only wedding if I plan on only having my nieces and nephews?

Question

Just put "Adult Only Reception"? With the exception of immediate family only? Or do I have to address that?

I don't want to take the chance of putting To: Mr and Mrs. Smith (for example) and having them show up with their kids bc it doesn't specifacally say "Adults Only".

Answer 1

Don't use the word "only" - just put "Adult Ceremony" or "Adult Reception" and that'll do it. Let your immediate family know verbally - in person or on the phone. I'll probably get the thumbs down, but I dont' think it's tacky to just invite children from the family, these things happen all the time. Ours is adults only but there will be a few children from our family there - family is different - it's not your co-workers or buddies bringing their kids along, and anyone outside the family with any couth that was invited to an adults only wedding, should realize that there are family exceptions. Just my thought.

Answer 2

We were having a similar decision to make. I have a large family and A LOT of young children, but we are having an evening wedding, and reception wouldn't start until 8-8:30. So we allowed 16 and overs to attend, with there dates, the exceptions being my 3 year old, and my 2 nephews, who are 4 and 2. They are in the wedding party, but we are having arrangements made for them to go home early.

I have always believed, and I hope this is true, that if your name is not on the invite or " & family" then the children are not invited! Weddings are expensive, and as a parent I understand that, and sometimes it's nice to get away for a night. An adult only reception is completely understandable, and a few children who are close to you is allowable, especially if they are in the wedding party.

Answer 3

By addressing the invite as "Mr. and Mrs. Whomever", but not adding "& Family" for most people will suffice. Usually it is understood at that point it is only for the two of them.

Another option is on the reply card where it asks to check "accepts" or "regrets" you can also add a small section right by the accepts line that says "___ of 2" . That way, they know the number you plan on having attend without directly pointing out that it is an adult reception...rather it looks like an effort to have them there, yet still keep number at a level you need based on the venue.

Given my past experience with the invites, just addressing it without "& family" was plenty. Usually, couples would rather spend a nice evening celebrating and welcome the chance to have their own "couple time".

Answer 4

Just put " Adult Reception" but let your immediate family know that it's alright for them to bring their kids. Do keep in mind that some of your guest might get upset when they arrive to the "adult reception" and see other kids there.

Answer 5

It is not bad etiquette to invite the children of your immediate family and not the children of friends. It is bad etiquette to put "adult only reception" any where on the invitation. You let your guests know who is invited by how the invitation is addressed. For example: If the invite says "and guest" or "and family" than they know they are allowed to bring a guest or their kids. If you go to the knot.com they are very good with wedding etiquette questions.
I am really surprised that so many people think that it is the bride's and groom's obligation to invite all of the children of everyone that is invited to the wedding. Yes child care is expensive but so is feeding the kids at the reception. Inviting children of immediate family is done all the time. The bride and groom is certainly not responsible for providing child care at the reception either.

Answer 6

Included in the invitation should be another card stating following the wedding will be an "Adults Only Reception."

Answer 7

you should add a note for guests who have children that if they must bring their children, the kids will be supervised and entertained in another location. Let them know that their children will be cared for by a qualified adult. Ask them to reply if they plan to bring their children and if so how many, what ages and what gender. To decide how many adult supervisors you need consider:
up to what age a minor is considered a child to be supervised.
Check your list of possible locations for your wedding ceremony and or reception, to find out if they have an additional room you can reserve as a children's Center for the duration of your wedding. Most religious institutions have school rooms. Hotels may offer you a small conference or meeting room, or a suite that includes a sitting room.
Restaurants that facilitate weddings usually have rooms of different sizes and will be glad to accomodate you with an additional smaller room. The same holds true for country and other club houses. Now that you know what to look for, choose the wedding venue that is able and willing to accomodate your young friends.

Figure out how many children need to be supervised,
Secure a very capable adult who can play educational games, do art and crafts, are good story tellers or readers, and are gentle and caring. Your best choice would be a teacher, a camp councellor, a den mother or a girl scout troop leader, for example. DO NOT HIRE A TEENAGER to just sit with the kids and watch TV! Interview potential adult supervision candidates and find out how they plan to give the children a good, meaningful time while their parents are at the wedding, especially since the children will be of varying ages.
If you can afford it, you may provide an artisan such as a ballon artist to make crowns and animals, a face painter, a magician etc...A wedding planner children's events can help you locate such individuals. Or if your community has a pier, a promenade, an open street market or other locations where street artisans gather to show their talents, choose those that you believe will be best for your young guests and interview them. Since many street artisans work for donations, they may agree to provide their services at a reasonable price. Find out what art and craft materials you need to supply, what entertainment items will be appropriate such as a movie on VHS or DVD, etc... Gather your needs and have them packed and ready to deliver to the Children Center at your wedding location. Ask your caterer to suggest a kids menu. Make sure it is healthful. If you plan the menu by yourself, stay away from too many sweets. Avoid nuts as some children are allergic to nuts. Do provide fruit, salads and how about Pizza? You should plan on one adult for every 10 children. Enjoy your Adults Only wedding assured that your guests will have a good time as will their children. And all that can be accomplished even on a tight budget of only a few hundred dollars.

Answer 8

It's in bad taste to make exceptions.
If you are having an adult only reception the only children that should be there are the ones in the wedding party. So if you really want your nieces and nephews there, put them all in the wedding.
If people who's children were not invited show up and see other children there they might be pretty offended (and I wouldnt blame them one bit) that you deemed their children unimportant.

Plain and simple.
Good luck and best wishes.

Answer 9

it doesn't seem fair that some people can bring their kids and others cannot. What is the age of the youngest neice/nephew? maybe you could say "children X years and over" (X = age of youngest neice/nephew) or something else suitable to the situation. Then you wouldn't have EVERYBODY bring their kids, and they would all be old enough,

or in each rsvp, you could specify the number of seat reserved for each family, so if a family gets one saying "two seats reserved", there is no question that their children are invited or not.

Answer 10

Are the nieces and nephews in the wedding? If so, then they would be invited, even if the reception was adults only.

However, you can't invite some kids and not others. That's just not polite.