He's been here for my problems, and i've been here for his. We tried going out, but because of long-distance issues, it didn't work out. I want to be with him forever, but so far, my best friend "Amy" hates the idea and says that I'm going to lose half my soul if it doesn't work out. One of my guy friends is moving to Japan because I was proposed to, and I had to talk him out of suicide. What should I do? I'm so lost...
2007-08-07 03:13:44 · 16 answers · asked by woundedblackroses 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If your going to be with each other forever then whats the rush? you will still be together in 5,10,15 years...whatever, and you will also have lots more money to spend on a great wedding...Marraige, IMO, is just a piece of paper.
2007-08-07 03:29:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are a few things you could do. To be honest, just talking to a friend about how you feel can help, even if you don't get a response. Even talking to a stranger can help; because they don't know you, you have nothing to hide from them. If you've had this problem for such a long time, you've probably adapted yourself to suppress it quite well, which is not good! When people tell you, "Don't hide your feelings, let people know how you feel", they mean it. This doesn't mean to say you should lash out at everything and everyone that makes you frustrated, it just means that you should find a constructive outlet for your anger. Physical exercise can actually help a lot, you could buy a punch-bag and use that, or go for a jog everyday. Just think long and hard before you make any drastic decisions, because if you think about it properly, taking your life is quite selfish. Think about your parents and friends and everybody that knows you, how disheartened they would be if you did that. There's always a way out, just don't take the easy way.
2016-05-20 22:34:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh Honey-Bunny...you and John will change so much over the years. You are not the same person you were at 12 nor will you be the same person at 21 or 30 or 50 and neither will he. Personally, I think 28 is a good age to consider marriage...you pretty much know who you are, what you like, where you want to go in life, and you're still young enough to start a family. My advice is to wait it out, live together, and see where that road takes you. Divorces are very expensive, incredibly hurtful, and can take a lot of time getting through the nasty details of property settlement, not mention if there's kids involved. I know you love him Sweetpea but you have many many years to make this one big decision before you're an old-maid. My best wishes to you.
2007-08-07 03:25:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forever is a very long time, and at 17 you still have a lot of growing up to do. Nobody wants to hear it at that age, but it's true. Marriage to this guy could work for you, but the odds are that both of you will be going through a lot of changes in the next few years, and it's hard to say if it would work out for you. My advice is, if you truly love each other, you'll be there for each other in five years, or however long it takes. Wait until you've got your own future figured out before you try to build one with him.
2007-08-07 03:23:27 · answer #4 · answered by Bethany 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There seems to be an awful lot of drama around you!
If you have known him since you've been 14; great. I get that you have a long distance relationship with him, so my suggestion would be to live in the same city/community for a period of time before you commit to anything.
It is easy to say things over the phone and not to their face when you have a long distance relationship; it is easy to 'imagine' and 'inflate' the feelings when they are far away. It's natural, so before you say 'yes' or start telling everyone you're engaged, move closer to each other.
As for your friends; lots of drama there too. I would imagine there is lots of other stuff going on too, for someone to think about suicide. Get that person some help!
Half your soul? statements like that are one of the reasons you are tooo young....live your life, go to school, have a career, do all these things before you get married or commit. You've got lots of time for that!!!
2007-08-07 04:02:07 · answer #5 · answered by laura g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i personally think no one should get married until they are over 30...there is just too much to experience and even if things are going great now, after a while you start to get bored and if you don't have anything else to compare that person to, you feel even more trapped. if together forever is your goal, then breaking up now should be your choice, then get back to each other after you have experienced more that life has to offer. I am not saying to go out and be a ho, but when you are around more people, you will see how compatible you are with different types of people and if this guy is really the love of your life and you are his, you will find your way back to each other.
I married my high school sweetheart, we were inseperable since we were 15...we were divorced at 27 and with no clue on how to date because our only experience had been together. it was hard for both of us, but eventually we got through it, and i believe our kids have suffered as a result. it was such a mistake to get married and i see lots of others going through the same thing.
as for the guy threatening to kill himself, he sounds really unstable and needs professional help. it is nice that you care about him but he needs more help than you can give, and your decisions or life circumstances should not affect anyone this much. don't make your decisions based on other people's reactions. that is a bad trap to get into.
good luck, and get out and enjoy what life has to offer..once you've seen what's out there, then sign up for forever.
2007-08-07 03:30:02 · answer #6 · answered by Rachel F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i say follow your heart if you truley love him and can see yourselves together with a family and having a wonderful life and when you together you fell incredible then follow your heart and marry him when the time is right because you are too young but if you just love him as a friend or an associate or almost a brother or if you are looking for love then dont marry him just follow your heart they always say a kiss can tell you if there is true love if in that kiss there is magic then you know the answer if there is nothing then you know what you should do
2007-08-07 03:21:10 · answer #7 · answered by nisha10mabry 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't say wrong, but I've noticed 2 things.
☺ You never mentioned the one thing that is the reason for getting married.
☺ You seem hesitant. You shoudl only get married when you can't resist doing so.
Remember, loving someone and being in love with someone are 2 different things.
2007-08-07 03:26:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, first of all, i understand how you must be feeling. everyone thinks they've found their true love at 17. that being said, you're too young to be worried about making this kind of committment. as for losing half of your soul and stopping friends from committing suicide, yikes! take a chance to enjoy your youth, don't worry about marriage and all that yet, please!
2007-08-07 03:35:56 · answer #9 · answered by begeeman13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ur friend was going to kill himself because u were getting married i say wait till ur 23 if everything is going well then u should get married cuse think about it if hes goin to get a good job he should go to collage and get a deggre on whatever because where r u guys going to live he have to think a head of time
2007-08-07 03:21:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋