My niece's punishment.....?

Question

As many of you recall, I am babying my step-daughter as a punishment. Well I told my sister. She got the idea to do the same thing.

My niece, Layla, is a partier, even though she's 14. Her cerfew is 11:00 PM. She can't have her boyfriend over unless an adult or one of her older sisters is home.

Well the other night my sister and brother-in-law went to my brother-in-law's brother's cocktail party. My other three nieces, Courtney, Danielle and Kate, went out for the evening. Layla went out with her boyfriend and he came back to my sister's house.

To make a long story short, my sister and her hubbie came home early from the party and found Layla and her boyfriend, lights out, candles lit, strawberries and cream, shirts up, making out.

At first my sister just grounded her and was looking for a more suitable punishment. Well I guess I gave her the idea.

Now my niece is being babied. She has to wear babyish type clothes (including bonetts), has to use a pacifier and (contunie

only watch baby shows, be under constant care, wear diapers, be fed and everything. Her mom put her on a harness and takes her everywhere. I asked my sister how long she's going to keep this up for since school starts in a few weeks and she said "Until Layla moves out". My niece is going to come and spend the night tomorrow night. My sister wants me to baby her like she does. Should I and how can I make this craziness stop?

She has one because they've known each other since birth and each of their parents think their "So cute together"

Answer 1

i wouldn't take part in this if i were you. i don't think the punishment is appropriate. maybe if she wants to act older than she is and take on responsibilities she is not ready for, she can get a job or take care of the house, pull weeds in the flower beds, start paying some bills, you know, all the things that mothers have to do because she will find out soon enough if she becomes one. Also, if she is not trustworthy enough to be left at home, then she should not be left for the evening unsupervised. 14 year olds are going to break the rules and make mistakes...it is the parent's job to deal with those mistakes in a manner so that the daughter will learn from them. All she is going to learn from this is her mom is crazy and she probably can't wait to get out of the situation, will probably force her more towards some guy, either this one or a new one. Either way, your sister is nuts for punishing her daughter this way and needs to be taking away her freedom, not demeaning her.

Answer 2

That's a terrible punishment and ridiculous. I can understand why your sister wants to punish her as she broke the rules, but the punishment doesn't fit the crime. Your niece is 14 and she's going to experiment. Do I think she's too young to experiment? Absolutely. But she's a teenager and it's biologically normal for her to want to explore unknown territory.

If it were me - I wouldn't treat her like a baby when she came over. The ramifications of your sister's actions will echo for many years and she's taking the perfect opportunity to make her daughter want to rebel that much more and she's fostering disdain.

Moreover, your husband is an idiot for allowing you to treat his daughter the same way. You're doing the same thing - breeding disdain. Don't expect a close relationship with your step-daughter as time goes on. Your emotional abuse and humiliation is terrible. You and your sister both - you disgust me. I would NEVER put my child through something like that. As a parent or a step-parent you're expected to teach your children and nurture them. Yes, they need to be punished from time to time, but you're the person expected to PROTECT them. All you're doing is causing severe emotional trauma and lower self esteem.

Answer 3

Yes that is the correct punishment for her! i have heard of girls her age and older being made to wear diapers,plastic pants,tee shirts,bonnets,etc and having to use a pacifier and drink from a baby bottle.Once their friends see them dressed as a baby,it shapes them up real fast.Your niece should be wearing plastic pants over her diapers as well.

Answer 4

i kind of understand the idea of the punishment... like "if ur gonna act irresponsible like a baby, then ill treat you like a baby" but i agree that is over the top.. i would just ground my kid and not let her see him for a while. not like a week or two tho. maybe a month to make sure she knows ur serious... if it happens again, kick it up to two months. and if she does it AGAIN tell her itll be a year til she can see him again. and follow through with it... giving her all the attention that a baby has will probably make her feel special..

Answer 5

you should do what the parents want but if you feel it is not right then dont talk to your sister and suggest aother punishment because that punishment is not suitable for the situation i suggest have her take care of a baby for a few weeks not for money but as if it were her own and show her that she could end up doing that for the rest of her life

Answer 6

Your sister has a screw loose. Exactly how is this supposed to do anything but alienate her daughter and what does being humiliated have to do with her making out with her boyfriend. Your sister allows her 14yr old to have a boyfriend, I think she is getting what she deserves. If you go along with this hateful and punitive abuse, then you are as guilty as she is. Grounding a 14yr old is appropriate, making fun of her and destroying her self esteem is child abuse.

Answer 7

Thats going over board and don't worry the school will not allow it because it draws to much attention and can disturb a class. No tv and no friends around for a while will be good enough. And you can do that in your home too. they will miss talking to there freinds more then anything.

Answer 8

This is ridiculous. Are you serious? Demeaning a 14 year old is hardly effective parenting. A more suitable punishment would be to take away all of her privilages and prohibit dating until she is old enough to control herself.

Answer 9

Your sister and brother-in-law are crappy parents. Drunk, party animals who should lead by example. Why does this 14 year old have a boyfriend?

Answer 10

That is soooo weird. I think the curfew is too late for a 14 year old. Someone needs to be more strict with parenting.