No children allowed at our wedding?

Question

I am getting married in September.My fiance and I decided that we would not want any kids at our wedding UNLESS they were a part of the wedding party. At first my friends daughter was going to be a part of the wedding. Long story short now she isnt because we decided there is no way she would be able to walk down the aisle without crying for her mother. Our wedding invitation states "Adult reception" . Our rsvp date was August 1st. It is now the 7th and I have not gotten her rsvp back. Do I call her to find out if she is coming or not? I dont want her to just show up with her daughter. What do you suggest I do. P.S We told everyone including family no children allowed.

I told her that because her daughter wouldnt talk, look or walk anywhere without crying for her that it probably wouldnt be a good idea for her to take part in the wedding and she said she understood. Its not that I dont like children for those of you with rude answers. It is just that like many of you said it is me and my fiances special day and we dont want it ruined by crying children, chairs used as beds for the evening, tableclothes used as tents and flowers used as tickle toys. Besides....our videographer charges extra for every time he has to edit a crying child...P.S If I had children and was invited to a wedding, I wouldnt bring them.

P.S I dont think we are being unreasonable because plenty of other people have children and dont plan on bringing them because they were married before and know what its like...

Answer 1

You've got some good suggestions here, go ahead and call her. If you specified NO kids at the wedding, then she should follow the rules also. Its YOUR wedding, and Weddings, contrary to popular belief, are NOT about the family, and YOUR bratty kids, they are about the BRIDE AND GROOM saying their vows, and celebrating their new life together.
PEOPLE! YOUR KIDS AREN'T CUTE RUINING A WEDDING OR ANY OTHER EVENT! There needs to be respect of other people and their wishes of their own celebrations.

Answer 2

I would call her if you do not have one by the end of the week. Give her until then. If she ask about her daughter advise her that it is an adult only wedding and reception. If she says she is not coming unless she can bring her, then you have a desision to make.
I think having a adult only reception is nice, but honestly, I like having the kids there. At my wedding the kids were very well behaved and at the reception everyone had a great time. Even a 3 year old caught the garder... which was highly amusing.

Answer 3

Did you express to her that her daughter is no longer a part of the wedding party? The friend could merely be upset that you have chosen not to include the daughter although you had previously considered her. However, this is your day and you should be entitled to have it your way.
Call your friend up. Apologize if she felt as though you flipped the script on her. (apologize but don't say sorry. sorry implies that you did something wrong and you did not) Explain that it is not personal but that you feel that her daughter is too shy and would not walk down the isle without crying. Let her know that although you have chosen to not include children who are not in the wedding party, that you are still hoping that the mother would attend. That gives her the chance to say yes or no. At that point, you have done all that you can do. Best wishes and good luck!

Answer 4

This question isn't even about whether kids are invited. It's about a failure to respond to an invitation in a timely manner. It's the host's right to invite whom they please, and it's the guest's duty to respond in good time.

You invited the lady. The deadline for response is past. The proper thing to do in this case is to call her and ask.

Whether her failure to respond is connected with the fact her child was asked to be in the wedding party and then relieved of her duties when she proved unable to handle them, your choice not to invite children other than those in the wedding party, a simple case of forgetfulness, or a mistake on the part of the Post Office is not the important issue. You'll probably find out the answer when you call, and it may well be that she's annoyed with you, but that doesn't change the fact that you need an answer to the main question which is: is she coming to the wedding or not?

So call her. Ask her. Do your best to clear the air if need be.

Best of luck to you. I wish you a long, happy marriage.

Answer 5

If I got an RSVP stating no children, then that means just that. I would return and either say I would attend or I wouldn't (if I sadly couldn't due to a good reason like major illness etc).

I think it is wise to call her and ask her if she has recieved it. It might of got lost in the mail, undelievered, forgot she didn't send it back to you or she simply is upset and ignoring.

Don't let others bother you about the choices of no children. Your wedding/special day to decide on how it will be done.

Answer 6

Although this is not a popular request for any of your guests who is a parent, it is your perrogative to request children not come to your reception.
In the case of your friend, if it were me, I would simply go ahead and call her. If you ask questions, such as, "I noticed I hadn't received your RSVP back yet, you will be coming, I hope?" and just keep the conversation low key, she will be comfortable expressing her feelings. I would NOT tell her "Please don't bring your daughter," or anything similar to that. If the subject comes up, just casually inform her you both decided it would be best for this event that it be Adult Only. You don't have to give a specific reason - just say it was a decision you both came to because of the venue, the food, etc... it just wasn't going to be very feasible for parents bringing children to have a nice time.
I have 4 children and I would not be offended, so she can get a sitter and deal with it if she wants to be supportive of you and your friendship. I'm sure she's not going to have a problem - if she does - let it be her's and not yours. Enjoy your day and CONGRATULATIONS! I wish you every happiness!

Answer 7

It seems that you have an intuition that your friend may indeed bring her daughter. After all the drama, she may feel jilted that at the last minute, you decided that it wasn't a good idea to include her daughter in the wedding. Assume she does.

The best way to handle this situation is to personally go over to see her and visit with her. Tell her how bad you feel about the fact that her daughter will not be in the wedding party and can not attend the wedding as it would not be fair to the other guests in attendance, but that you would like to see her there.

Good Luck,

Jim

Answer 8

It is not a big deal to call someone to see if they are coming. People understand that you need a head count. Just call her and ask her if she plans on attending and how many she is going to be bring with her (husband/boyfriend-teenagers...I don't know her situation). If she mentions bring the younger child nicely tell her that there are not going to be any children at the reception, not even family. Keep your calm so that she will keep her calm as well. She SHOULD understand!

Answer 9

I wouldn't worry about not hearing back yet from your friend. What's the worse that can happen? She brings the kid anyway. So what? Will one child being there ruin everything? I don't think so. People get so upset over the little things and lose sight of the bigger picture. Just have a wonderful, fun day and don't forget what it's all about.

Answer 10

i couldnt agree more with everything y ou said. i love kids, dont get me wrong, but a wedding is not the best place unless u have entertainement or someone to watch them. bc the parents couldnt be bothered with them over indulging in the open bar. the kids should be left home. call and ask about their status in rsvping and try to be polite when discussing th ematters of the child.