Ralph Goes To Heaven
Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber.
He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Ralph.'
Ralph was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!'
St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.'
Ralph was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home. The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground.
A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?'
'Not bad,' replied Ralph the hen, 'but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!'
'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster. 'Don 't tell me you've never laid an egg before?'
'Never,' said Ralph.
'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big deal.'
2007-08-07 01:56:39 · 17 answers · asked by Arisa 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Ralph did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!
Ralph was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming.
As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife shout.....
'Dammit, Ralph! Wake up. You're shitting in the bed!'
2007-08-07 01:57:01 · update #1
Eeeeeeeeeew....
But still I managed to giggle in the office, loud enuf to attract some staring eyes...
:-)
2007-08-07 02:04:04 · answer #1 · answered by 13 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he repented and asked Jesus into His heart he is in heaven with God. He could have done this during his last breath. When I realized that I was a sinner and needed Jesus and that He personally took my sins to the cross so that I could live with Him forever, I also realized that He took everyone's sin to the cross. When I knew that I was not perfect and did alot wrong, it allowed me not to judge or think that a person was not loved by God enough not to go to heaven. I want everyone to go to heaven, but not everyone will accept Jesus. No one is so bad they cannot repent and be saved. He died for all.
2016-05-20 22:14:43 · answer #2 · answered by corinne 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ha ha didnt expect tha 1 lol
star 4 u
2007-08-07 02:00:59 · answer #3 · answered by cerri-anne 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hilarious! lol Great for a very slow afternoon lol!
2007-08-07 02:02:14 · answer #4 · answered by rachaellahmar 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very good
2007-08-07 01:59:56 · answer #5 · answered by CHRISTINE 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
HEE HEE HEE HEE THAT'S A GOOD ONE 9/10
2007-08-07 02:16:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats funny
2007-08-07 02:01:05 · answer #7 · answered by char 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good one!
2007-08-07 02:05:27 · answer #8 · answered by Dunk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I keep picturing someone crapping on their bed.Eww.
2007-08-07 02:01:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
eewwww
lol din expect that
2007-08-07 02:00:30 · answer #10 · answered by caroline 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋