I had been dating a guy on and off, for about a year and a half. Well since it was never continuous, I hadnt had a chance to get to know the "real" him so to speak, and vice versa. Now we've spent a great deal of time with each other and I've realized that he's been lying to me about several things (about having his own place, car, financially stability). Even though his lies are so obvious, because he keeps forgetting what he's already told me, he just keeps lying. I no longer consider this person to be someone I could possibly date seriously, but I havent deleted his number yet either(ha). I really want to be his friend and let him know that he should tell women the truth so that he can know who wants him for him....I'm very understanding because Im a friend first. But Why keep telling lies when I can see the truth. What to do??
2007-08-07 01:42:16 · 6 answers · asked by Z. 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hi Z,
I am just as puzzled. Why do people lie, or blatantly embellish?
Are they afraid their real life isn't exciting enough or dramatic enough to keep another interested?
Dated a woman for a short time and noticed, like you, certain things just did not add up. It was a complete turn-off and I deleted her number and did not respond to texts.
It sounds like you are something of a Samaritan, wanting to help this person. I hope you are able to. Someone very naive might not see his lies as quickly and she would be in for a shock at some point.
good luck ~
2007-08-07 01:49:23 · answer #1 · answered by yoak 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he is a compulsive liar. It's a disorder that is really uncontrollable unless he gets some professional help. I think you should have a serious conversation with him letting him know that you care deeply about him, and you're only saying this because you think it will help and you are only looking out for his best interest, that he needs to find a counselor or a psychiatrist to get some help for his disorder.
Also, the lies that he is telling you makes him sound like less of a loser than he really is...it's not like he's lying about seeing other girls, he's making himself sound BETTER to YOU about his financial status. So, you should actually be a little flattered that he wants to impress you so much. But, that's just one way of looking at it.
2007-08-07 08:51:01 · answer #2 · answered by Diet Peach 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well Z, most people lie because of two reasons. They don't like the truth (usually about themselves) or because there are things the truth brings out that change how they appear to others.
To get him to be honest may be tough but to start just tell him that you require honesty. Call him on the lies and see how he reacts.
If he gets mad or angry you don't have much hope but if he understands and tries to open up honestly then your relationship with him has began to progress in the right direction.
2007-08-07 08:50:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dated someone exactly like this for three months. Please be careful. This guy I was with ended up being a stalker. He went so far as to say the gov't was out to get him because of various things. His lies escalated to the point that I was truly scared. he's still on various dating sites lying about his profession etc. It's disgusting. Just be very careful. There is no rhyme or reason as to why they do this other than they are very mental.
2007-08-07 08:50:03 · answer #4 · answered by dinny's engaged!! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its better to like the actual person than to like the lie of a person a guy should never lie to you and don't let him either just try to be friends with him ok give to know him more about him everything jumping into a relationship too fast could result in serious consequences never ever jump to a relation ship fast with someone you barely meet or barely know you should know about that you dont know the secrets that their hiding how do you know where there from or what they been thru try studying them more see what their about. ok
2007-08-07 08:56:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, from experience, I can tell you that he will make you crazy (with his lies) before you make him honest...I know a girl who lies constantly, too...Not in a malicious way- she just lies...I have found it is best for me to keep her as a friend, but at arms length...Id rather have someone in my life is honest- and not someone whom I cannot trust...Kind of defeats the purpose of a relationship............
2007-08-07 08:50:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋