Old fashioned values and manners?

Question

What has happened to all the old fashioned values? Why do so many people feel the need to sleep around and go on binges around town? Where are manners? Alot of people don't hold doors open or say please and thank you any more.

Of course, not everyone is like this, but why are there so many that seem to have lost good values and manners?

Answer 1

My pet subject....I agree the standards of manners and morals seem to have faded away with passing generations. We may be the last of a known breed!

It takes no specail effort surely to say please and thank you, or to help someone by carrying a heavy load or opening a door.
Swearing is rife and so is a lax attitude to personal presentation.

I think it has something to do with today's fast moving society and with a hint of the irresponsible judicial system. Parents can't always be blamed, as some youngsters can be a handful and "overpower" placid mums and dads.

But it's not always youngsters that have the bad manners...!

It's ok saying "smile and the world smiles back" but as you're holding open that door....is that a smirk you see?

Just grin and bear it and hope our own sense of decency rubs off on others. Methinks, by holding open a door for an old lady,say, the youngster behind her is growing more impatient.

Answer 2

I think its just the direction that our society has gone in. Sleeping around and bingeing are more of a lifestyle choice, just because people do these things is doesnt necessarily mean that they have lost touch with manners and etiquette, these things afterall arent anything to do with other people and its up to the individuals the life that they lead. I think people would have a more fulfilling life however if they chose not to binge and sleep around. I do agree that politeness has gone out of the window, its a rarity having people say please and thank you nowadays and I find shop assistants can be quite rude but I think a lot of it lyes with how young people are brought up, i often see parents swearing at children and you cant expect children to grow up thinking that this is wrong when their own parents have done it. I saw a mother with her son a few days ago, he must have been about two and like all toddlers that have just learnt to walk he was running along and enjoying himself(they were in a park) and she shouted 'get back here you little sh*t', what kind of person speaks to their child like this? People moan about the youth swearing, but from what I can see, a lot of it lies in the parents hands and if they think that this is acceptable then so will the children.

Answer 3

You seem a little idealistic.
What values and manners? in comparision we are some of the best behaved people for centuries!

sleeping around... i think that the bible talk about some kindly prostitute fallowing jesus.
Drinking??... well it used to be okay for people to drink, but we don't teach people HOW to drink socially at home anymore.

What about "domestic abuse" husbands used to beat their wives without getting in trouble! It wasn't untill the term "Spousal abuse" was created that the problem actually exsisted.

Old fashioned is the key term here, old fashioned is just that! out of fashion!
Just work on your own manners and values and share them with others, hold doors and say please and thank you! others will follow because we like the way that doing those things make us feel.

Answer 4

Well, the bad manners were there all along but there used to be a strict class system in place that kept those who chose to stay drunk or sleep with anything that moved away from those who lived in polite society. There was also a shame factor in bad behavior. If someone acted out, there would be a scandal and their family would be ashamed. Now, instead of only associating with a small group of people who share your morals and values, we associate with all sorts of people who are vastly different and come from different cultures and backgrounds.

Basically all you can do is continue to be polite and considerate of others, overlook their faults and poor manners and try to encourage any children that you might have to behave properly by setting a good example.

Answer 5

What i will type is similar to what Mr./Ms. I_have_cheese typed in as an answer.

Your exasperation is well justified for ill-mannered people. This is a result of a lack of compassion for others and poor up-bringing. I also hate it when people act so selfish and take these little things for granted. It never hurts to be a bit polite. Agree with you on that part.

About people going on drinking binges, I feel substance abuse has become very rampant as people don't have proper channels to express their feelings anymore, and don't seem to bother about making complete asses of themselves. However it's their personal choice, and they are destroying their own lives and livers. Unless drunks harass you or are a security threat, they can be ignored.

HOWEVER, I DO NOT AGREE with you on the sleeping around part. Sexual relationships are a completely personal and private matter. You should not be too up-moral and bothered about that. Times have changed. Family dynamics have changed.
If you can keep your morals to yourself and your family, then you are lucky! Why bother about the next door neighbor's 16 year old daughter's promiscuous ways?

Answer 6

As you said not everyone is like that, perhaps it seem like it sometimes, I'd like to think I'm polite and hold open doors and give up a seat for an elderly person or a pregnant women, but it is a sad reflection of life if that doesn't happen.
And i would like to bring back common courtesy, like saying excuse me, when trying to get into or out of a seat on public transport, so many times people just look at you like you're from Mars, and say nothing. Being promiscuous and hard drinking have always been there, but not so well publicised,
doesn't make it right, but its not a new phenomenon.

Answer 7

I try at this hard and it seems to make my little niche in life so much better. Always be ready with a smile and some friendly kind words and they will be returned to you.

All the casual sex and binge drinking is a big turn-off for me. I think there was always some of this but at least it wasn't on the front page everyday. It's as if we've given little kids permission to tell potty jokes in the living room even when company's present. Why did Howard Stern's name just pop into my head.....LOL

With my grand children I have simply resolved to a "They won't learn it from me" attitude and try to set an example.

Gosh, I long for the 50's

Answer 8

There has always been a lot of sleeping around and binges. People just used to do it in private and not talk about it. It might be a hypocritical, but it just makes things more peaceful and easier for the rest of us if they do. Good manners are always in good taste. It just comes out of a lot of media and "in your face" stuff with no regard for the feelings of others or what they think of you.

Answer 9

It's not that they lost them, they were never taught them. Unfortunately families fell apart through the 80's and 90's either by divorcing or never marrying or by shuffling kids around to so many different functions, the home life was zilch. It's hard to teach values, morals, and manners when you can't even find time to sit down to dinner together or play together and even harder when there are multiple fathers. Now that really teaches good morals doesn't it?

Answer 10

i totally agree with you ,i see it everyday in society , i have taught my children the good manners my parents instilled into us , but i'm afraid its not just the youngsters , i find old people worse , the other day i was in town with my children and my son opened the door for this old woman and she didn't even say thankyou i looked back at her and shook my head and thought how rude,, even on the buses although i don't get on too many , but when i have done , i've often given up my seat for an elderly person ,or a woman with a small child , you don't even get a nod of appreciation ,they just don't care anymore , some people don't deserve respect , it makes you think were they bought up or dragged up ,