why isnt he responding?

Question

I just wrote this email to an ex who im still in contact with everyday. We went out for 2 months and he finished with me 2 months ago. Hes said for various reasons but he has also said how quiet i am. Hes just strated seeing someone else. I sent him the following email this morning and he hasnt responded. I know i said on it for him not to respond but i was hoping he would read between the line. I will paste the email below:-

I know that I can be quiet, im like that with people I don’t know too well, even if ive met them on a few occasions. For example friends of friends who I see once a week/fortnight maybe when we all go out but im still quiet with them cuz I don’t know them well enough. Unlike people I work with who I see everyday, I cant stop talking to them, because im so use to them. There is a girl at work who when I first started I hated, she was offish and rude but now shes someone who I like a great deal and can have a real laugh with and that’s because ive gotten to know her now. You only ever got to chapter 1 with me , I dont think I was comfortable enough with you to be myself hence me maybe not picking up on things I thought were out of order and also I knew we weren’t with each other for that long when we met up to warrant a massive big argument, because once I start I do not stop!!

Somebody told me the other day that sometimes its like im not even interested in the other person (hence my text late Friday), they said you get back what you put in, and if you don’t put anything in then you wont get anything back.

Your right I shouldn’t change for anyone but I also should be myself and thats maybe what I wasn’t because I didn’t feel comfortable enough with you (that’s not a personal attack, that’s me, and im like that with all people I don’t know really well)…..& it gets down to not seeing each other much and not living in the same town.

Don’t judge me on what you think you know. I do hope that one day you will be able to get inside me rather than just touch the surface because that’s all you’ve done and that’s a shame.

No need to reply and im not saying that in an arsey way, I just wanted you to know that because things like that I find hard to talk about.

Answer 1

As you only went out with each other for two months, he probably doesn't think there's anything "major" that you did together that would bond a relationship. As you said, he's your EX and you also state that he is seeing someone else.....(so soon after ending things with you....? That's not a wise move at all)

You email did say "dont reply" so maybe you gave him the rope....y'know? He sounds immature, unexperienced in social relationships. Do you really need a someone like that? Wher, at the first hurdle, they bail out?

You need to try to forget and stop beating yourself up over someone you only went with for a short time. Someone being "Quiet" is hardly a reason to end things is it. Maybe he was just looking for a way out. I'm fairly quiet too, and often people take that as an unwillingness to participate....they're wrong of course.

In the long term, his new relationship may only last as short as yours did...what do you reckon that would indicate...?

On the positive side, I can only say, be patient. If at some time in the future you get back together then maybe you can right your wrongs then. But dont jump in feet first the moment his latest fling sizzles out eh. Do yourself a favour.

Answer 2

You should write this to your ex [Stop blaming yourself and do you need even bother to explain why you are a quiet person.]

Dear XX:

I wish you were man enough to come out clean and let me know the real reason why you no longer wished to see me. There were those times when I do wonder about the real reason. I am a quiet person but that's because you have not known me well enough. It's a shame how you have viewed that as a stumbling block in our relationship. We could have tried if you have loved me enough. You could have coaxed me to talk more... we could have gone out on more activities....See, these are all the reasons why I think you were not man enough to tell it to me face-to-face. I do accept that everything happens for a reason... All I ask is an amicable parting. I do hope that you are happy with the way things are, just as how I would wish that you would hope the same thing for me. You were a part of me that is now history - something that I will always cherish but I have put that behind me.

Answer 3

I'm sorry honey but it looks like he just isn't interested in you any more. I know its sometimes difficult for naturally quiet people to come out of their shells a bit and let their personalities shine through, but that is exactly what you need to do I think, with the next guy that you are interested in, and not this one who is now seeing somebody else. If you come across as cool and remote, and not interested in a person, then thats how you will be judged I,m afraid, and if after 2 months of being with somebody you still don't feel comfortable with them, then they are not the one for you anyway - let this guy go and look forward to meeting somebody new, somebody who lets you feel that you can be yourself. Good luck

Answer 4

Hi,

Firstly, it is 11.52 here in UK and maybe he working, out or still in bed ect!

Also on about the E-mail - he may not be the type of guy to read messages of girls and the way you talked about things may be why he not E-mailing back because he probably has no idea what to put as you worded quite strongly why you are the way you are - almost as if you are attacking yourself personally.

Also he has obviously moved on now as he dating someone else and this may be another reason to why he not getting in touch.

Also NEVER put at end of E-mail - you don't have to get in touch then get upset when they don't! Not everyone can read between the lines hun.

I would just leave it all be now - you have explained how you feel and lets just leave the ball in his court and move on with life.

Sometimes we think we compatible with people but we not and this may well be the case with you and your ex.

Don't beat yourself up about it or cuss yourself for not being someone different to whom you are. You will meet a guy who likes you so much and gets to know the real you - it just won't be with the ex I don't think

Good Luck!

Lx

Answer 5

BECAUSE YOU TOLD HIM NO NEED TO REPLY!!!!!!

Maybe there was no chemistry between you two. But that doesn't even matter now, he's moved on and SO SHOULD YOU!

It seems you still have feelings for him which makes you seem like the immature one. You push him away (your email) yet you still want him to want you. Stop complaining, accept the reality that it wasn't meant to be, cherish the memories, and move on!

Answer 6

He is not responding because he doesnt want to play your endless games.

You tell him not to judge you on who you present yourself to be? What in the hell are you thinking? What is he supposed to judge you on then? Despite endless scams to the contrary people just dont come equiped with E.S.P. so he cant read your mind and even if he could I dont see how that matters, people are who they are not who they sit around telling themselves they are in thier mind.

Im sorry to hear your so closed off to everyone, maybe someday youll find someone who wants to spend the years to play the pushed away games you seem to require before youll consider opening up. Until then I suggest you move on as it doesnt seem this one is interested in playing.

Answer 7

I think you're probably just rushing the conversation too much. When the conversation first started out, you guys were saying hi and everything, and all of a sudden, you ask about her personal life outside of the indoor soccer, and it probably scared her.

Answer 8

I think he has made it quite clear that he is not interested anymore. Your e-mail probably just annoyed him very much and was glad not to have to answer it. If you guys are finished, you really should have explained all this earlier on. It really sounds like you are sort of stalking him while he probably just wants to move on with his new girlfriend.

Answer 9

maybe he hasn't read it yet? busy day? if he won't answer by tomorrow he's a loser dont worry the perfect guy will come. don't text him or send another email because you'll be kissing his ***. good luck

Answer 10

well by ths you were very direct and it wasn't too friendly what you were trying to get across didn't work men aren't too smart lol and therefore hes with soemone else. i mean you really told him and off actually that is what hes thinking.