Dear Wife...?

Question

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for
good.
I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home and
didn't even notice that I had gotten a
new hair cut, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps.

You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't want sex anymore or anything. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore, whatever the case is, I'm gone.

Your Ex-husband

PS Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia Together! Have a great life!

---------------------------------

Dear Ex-husband -
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work.


I did notice when you got a hair cut last week, the first thing
that came to mind was "You look just like a girl!" but my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say anything nice.

And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.

I turned away from you when you had those new silk boxers on because the price tag was still on them. I prayed that
it was a coincidence that my
sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning .. and your silk boxers were $49.99.

After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work
it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars,
I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess.


I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer
said that with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me.
So take care.
Signed

Rich As Hell and Free!


PS I don't know if I
ever told you this but Carla, my sister, was
born


Carl. I hope that's not a problem

( PS: I don't know if I ever told you this but Carla, my sister, was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem) That means, Carla is a guy. :P

Answer 1

Dear ex-wife,
I forgot to tell you that I am bisexual and whether she is Carla or he is Carl, I am OK with it.
The lottery ticket that you are talking about fell from your purse last night and is with me. Thanks for those bookings. I am enjoying my holidays at Jamaica and have changed my plans to go to West Virginia.
Your ex-husband.
P.S. I had told you that the lawyers are crooks. The same lawyer had asked to to post that letter so that I can get a nasty reply from you to help me file a divorce.

Answer 2

How approximately taking an grownup process? Tell her that even as you respect how exceptional it's to recycle apparel, the fee of alteration/the sort/ her colour offerings simply don't seem to be correct for you. Tell her to get a fee at a resale keep, or put it aside for a rummage sale.

Answer 3

I kinda think the joke probably was the other way around. With the wife running away with the brother and husband winning lotto. Kinda suspicious with the whining and griping

Answer 4

LOL..sorry husband 4 running off w/ ur ex-wife's brother!!

Answer 5

ok I got it her sister was a brother lol good funny story.

Answer 6

hehehe

Answer 7

haha I needed that

Answer 8

oh god!!!!!!!!!!!!can't stop laughing....i almost felll off my seat man!!its hilarious!!lolzzzzzz

Answer 9

very nice joke lol :)

Answer 10

XD thats hilarious..........