should i go to apologize?my fiancee's family treat me like a crap.i need your advice?

Question

me and my fiancee have been together for more than 7 years(on off).so,she knows me really well.both of us comes from different family background.my parents divorce when i was 13,and i live by myself in L.A.her family is really rich,big family,and strict.
The problem is my fiancee's dad often controllin her.like,if i ask her to go with me to friend's party,her dad didnt allow her to go.he treats her like a daddy lil girl!although the whole big family already know me.because we're goin to wed in the next 2 month.and i've got a problem with her family,her damily act like they like me so much when my fiancee is with me,but when she is not,they treat me like a crap.and last nit i had a big fight me my fiancee,about her dad problem who didnt allow her to go with me.then i told her how did her family treat mw when she's not here.i didnt mean to make her upset to her fam.i just can't keep it too much.because they're so fake on me!do ya think i should apologize?any advice is needed

i do have a good job and good salary

Answer 1

Hi Airboy,

I beleive that your fiancee enjoys the "daddy's little girl" role. Who wouldnt?? You should only apologize to your fiancee if you used very harsh, or deameaning words when you told your her how her parents treat you. But apologize only for the demeaning words used. You can say, I am sorry for talking so harshly about your family, or dad. I could have explained the situation in a nicer manner.

You are getting married in 2 months. If your fiancee does not stick by her man now, it will not change once you proclaimed man, and wife. Just know that when you marry a person, you are marrying the family. I would have real seriouse heart to heart talk with your fiancee. You don't want to repeat history as your parents did by eventuall g-d forbid getting a divorce down the line.

You have to stand up for yourself, and the two of you have to show a UNITED FRONT. If your fiancee will not go along with it, then she would rather be "daddy"s little girl", more than your spouce, lover, and best friend. It is very obviouse that they do not respect this union between you, and their little girl.

Again remember you want a happy, content, and joyfull life. Don't deny yourself of that.

Sincerely, a Y/a contributor

Answer 2

my friend, I understand your problem clearly. Look, a woman never accept her serious bf or future hubby to attack her family especially right before marriage. there is a security issue involved here. let me explain. marriage is a big change for the woman, she is changing the center point of existence from her family to her new house. During this change, the woman need to feel that her new center (you) is not hostile to her old center (her family). she will be very sensitive about that right before marriage and six months after. May be after 1 year of marriage and beyond she will accept and understand your complaints. Therefore you did the right thing at the wrong time. I suggest that you apologize, win her back, and once you wed you will have your own independent life with her. There is an Arabic proverb that says " my lover smile is worth a 1000 frowns". good luck

Answer 3

The in laws, thank god i don't have this problem, yet. We come from different backgrounds and we are a interracial couple. We deal with other people mean looks and racial comments. but we don't care. It should be harder but there's nothing wrong with our family. we're both middle class.

But if I did, I would ask myself do i really love this person enough to deal with their family? and if we get married where would we live? are you going to be close to the family? and will the family be coming over often?

And hey once you guys get married she can go where ever she want with you. you'll be a family of your own and why should the father butt in then. She will always be daddy's little girl that won't ever change. You can try to win them over with your charm or just let them be because your marrying their daughter not them. And when your a couple you shouldn't let people run your relationship the both of you should. Or you can avoid them if you don't ever get along.

good luck

Answer 4

Yes you should apologise to her for the fight.You should have discussed it in a mature unangry way.If she is gonna side with her family over you,it,s best to call the wedding off and find a new girl who,s family will treat you like one of the family.It will spare you of a married life with inlaw problems in the future.

Answer 5

she's upset now but she's gonna learn about it sooner or later, at least you've already told her. maybe apologise and tell her that you ddin't mean to make her upset, but it's just that you really had to let her know what's going on because it isn't fair to you. i think she needs to have a good talk with her family and sort things out. rich people are the most hypocritical 2-faced human beings out there, except for a handful who are total opposites

Answer 6

Yeah, and tell her the complete and total truth about everything, go into details if you have to. Let her know how much you love her, but you and her family don't get along. And how you're willing to try and accept her family, only because you love her so much.(that is if you really are).

Answer 7

Well, you are not going to marry her parents but she needs to kind of pay attention to what you're saying because it seems like your feelings are hurt. Good luck. In laws can be a real pain in the rear end.

Answer 8

If you really love her, and if you think its worth marrying her, then u will find your way to manage this situation. However, if there is any doubts as to whether u really truly love her, then u might reconsider marrying her and try to work out the situation.

Answer 9

If you haven't committed to the woman you are calling your fiance for more than 7 years can you blame them?

Answer 10

the family not suitable for you