My brother got married this year to a girl who had lived with us for 3 years. Now she acts weird around my intire family and none of us really like her. Things were ok because we knew he could always get a divorce and it would be ok cause he was still young (21). But know that she's pregnant we know he won't leave her because he is serious about the whole family thing. But what I'm most scared of is that the baby will be a serious premie because she weighs only 96 pounds, rarely eats and when she does it's fast food. She has already lost a baby and I don't think my brother could handle it again. Should I confront my brother?
2007-08-06 20:03:26 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
janicajayne I know her eating habits because I spent all summer with them. I am not jealous of her weighing 96 pounds because that nasty to me because she is 5"8 and it is all of my family's business because he asks us about things like that!!!
2007-08-07 09:13:08 · update #1
Confront your brother about what? Confronting your brother isn't going to change whether she is pregnant or not. Be there to be supportive, not confrontational. If you appear angry he will only alienate himself from you.
2007-08-06 20:09:04 · answer #1 · answered by phbernhart 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not. He is, afterall, a grown man. If he's making a mistake, it is his lesson to learn. You will only create tension by bringing all of this up, and you will help no one (probably only shut them both out of the family). Your concerns about the baby are probably unfounded. Small women have normal, healthy babies every day. There is no indication that small women have a higher incidence of premature birth. Low birth weight could be a problem if she does not gain an adequate amount, but this is between her, your brother, and her doctor. If you don't currently live with her, you can not know for sure how much or how often she eats (and pregnant women often do indulge in fast food without dire consequences). Her previous miscarriage probably had nothing at all to do with the factors you mention here. If she were drinking, smoking, or using drugs, there might be a need to intervene, but as it stands, you will only create more bad vibes. I know you don't like her, but I would strongly advise you to give her the benefit of the doubt (and your brother as well) and keep your mouth closed. I'm sure it would pain you if you weren't allowed to spend time with your neice or nephew.
2007-08-06 20:16:08 · answer #2 · answered by roknrolr63 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think there's anything to tell him. If he is concerned about the baby he should pay more attention to his wife's health and eating habits. If his family goes and tells him they don't like his wife.....I think you will all be in for a rude awakening and run the risk of losing your brother....maybe not forever but for a while. I say butt out. May not be what you want to hear but he's a big boy. He is in fact an adult. Let him make his own decisions....don't force him to make only the ones you want him to make.
2007-08-06 20:15:46 · answer #3 · answered by FF'n Momma 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you could do for your brother in times like these is support him. I know that you are concerned about his relationship, but right now he probably needs your support. Ask him how he's doing and just talk to him. You should also speak with your sister-in-law about her health and the baby's. You can do little things like offer her healthy foods that you are eating.
I hope all goes well.
2007-08-06 20:15:03 · answer #4 · answered by Kathleen T. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confront your brother about what? He's not done anything wrong, and it seems his wife hasn't done anything wrong. Just what are you going to tell him the truth about? The world according to you? It's just really none of your business.
You say she "had lived with us" that means she no longer lives with you, you say you don't like her anymore, so that tells me you're not hanging out with her, so how do you know what she eats when she eats? And there's nothing wrong with her weight, so quit being jealous.
The baby, if it is meant to be, will be fine. You don't divorce a woman because your sister thinks you should.
2007-08-06 20:06:54 · answer #5 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
You can't tell him what to do, and if you say anything bad about the person that he's in love with, it will only hurt him and possibly make him angry with you, or cause him resentful feelings toward you.
Just with him as a friend, and try to get the wife to see a nutritionist.
Good Luck!
2007-08-06 20:19:45 · answer #6 · answered by Daisy Indigo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe her her acting weird has something to do with her ptregnancy.. You know .. hormonal change. And they sasy, when you're pregnant, you have unexplainable cravings. My cousin who dislikes fatty foods ate red meat when she was pregnant. She said it was the only food her stomach can take.
Try to observe furthur.. Maybe it won't last the whole time she's pregnant
2007-08-06 20:19:42 · answer #7 · answered by Kaye Bennette 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should leave them alone. The baby will be okay whatever she eats unless she's on drugs or alcohol or smokes while pregnant. If she had lost babies before its not because of her eating habits.
2007-08-06 20:08:55 · answer #8 · answered by sexy-star 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all, DON'T MAKE HIM GET A DIVORCE. Divorce is never the answer.
Make her go to the doctor, and get a video that is called... The Tale of Two Brains by Mark Gungor, with Laugh Your Way America!
-Good Luck
2007-08-06 20:08:24 · answer #9 · answered by ♥ Xite ♥ 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
What is it you want to tell him?
I think you should say nothing, unless you can say something that will really help him. Just offer him your concern and support. Criticizing his wife to him just because you are frustrated by his bad situation, will likely only make him unhappy.
2007-08-06 20:07:01 · answer #10 · answered by zilmag 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋