FOR SERIOUS PEOPLE ONLY...My sister is very suicidal, what can I do to help her?

Question

My little sister is very depressed. She constantly gets teased a lot for her height because she's 17 years old and only 4'9. She's a bit chubby for her height also. She's heard all the names and the things mean people say about her. They call her dwarf, oompa loompa, little girl, stubby, midget, you name it she's heard it before. She's also not doing well in school, there are chances she might get pulled back as a Junior because she missed so many days. Therapy didn't help, suicide hotline didn't help. Her arms are full of cutts. She's tried to overdose on drugs, she tried to drown herself, suffocate herself, and even hang herself. Luckily, people caught her as she was doing it, otherwise she wouldn't be here today. I don't know what to do. I'm dying inside to watch her be like this. Could anybody please advise me?

Our mom past away 2 years ago, our father lives in a different country. Now I'm considered her legal guardian since our mom died.

Answer 1

Where are your parents? why haven't they tried getting professional help?

She needs professional help, I completely understand your worry but she needs someone that knows what needs to be done to help her.

The best you can do is talk to your parents and make sure they take action towards getting her some help, try 1-800-SUICIDE, look in the front of your phone book for a crisis line http://www.cdc.gov/ncipc/factsheets/suicide-prevention.htm, call a psychotherapist, carefully choose a friend, priest, minister or rabbi, someone who is likely to listen and http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/samaritans.htm

Be there for her but don't try handling this all alone either...this is a huge burden for you or your sister to carry alone.

I hope your sister gets the help she needs and if you or your sister ever need someone to talk to please email me.

Answer 2

You should be in therapy. I understand that you're looking for assistance to your sister, but you have to take care of yourself first! This is a traumatising relationship you are in, and I am very glad that you are so invested in helping your sister, but the best thing you can do for her is getting some help for yourself first!
After that, I'd encourage HER to seek therapy and actually place trust in her therapist. If she does not like the first one, ask for another...she can keep asking for a new therapist until she finds one she is comfortable with.
Beyond that, just be there for her. Try and have fun with her. See if you can get her to go out with you to an environment where there won't be any people she's had negative experiences with. If that means going somewhere where there are no people, so be it. But there are lots of large and public places that you can go where you two can be lost in the crowd together. Anonymity can be lots of fun!
I sincerely hope your sister gets through this time in her life...there will be a day when she isn't miserable! She can't understand that when in the kind of depression that you're describing, but if she can hang in...it will lift a bit. Eventually. The duration of that ease isn't something that can be promised, however.
Please take my advice and seek some help for yourself in dealing with the mental and emotional stresses in your life.
Know that you and your family have my best wishes for recovering from this period. Light, Love and Blessed Be!

Answer 3

Hello Serenity,
My heart goes out to your sister and you. I went through WW2 which left mental scars. I have tried to commit suicide several times. I turned to alcohol. I respect you for caring but the ultimate decision must come from your sister. She has to face her problems and admit them to herself. And she can talk to and with you. You say therapy and suicide hotline did not work. I have worked on those lines and somebody rings and says ' are you going to call the police'. By the time you try to convince them that you or the organization are not interested in the slightest who they are they have hung up because they think they are being traced. Therapy: oh man. I have seen dozens and I would still like to kill some of those arrogant, uncaring morons. Yes, therapy helps. It helps you no end. The problem is to find a therapist you can relate to. That is the difficult part. If your sister could persevere and find one she would be smiling. I am 5 foot ten. I don't know what it feels like to be 4 foot 9. And I would never say to her, wear high heels. She has to come to terms with the height nature has given her. Somebody close to me is that height but she does not suffer from it. I think she enjoys it. She does not mind if people remark on it, although that does not happen when I am there. But she has the answers, smiles and gets on with life. You have tried here, try to convince your sister to keep on looking for that sympathetic therapist. Don't worry about weight. First things first.

Answer 4

Sometimes therapy doesn't help because she isn't ready to accept it. She has to want to live and feel there is something good out there for her to want to get help. She may need to go through years of therapy constantly before anything will trigger that part of her brain. There are studies that show that certain foods you eat effects certain parts of the brain. Maybe you should look them up and see if you can change her diet some. You need to encourage her that what other people say doesn't matter. You need to get a support team to help you do this because you can't do it on your own. You might want to take her to church so that she can see other people who will accept her for her. If you are not a beleiver don't think of it as going to learn about god, but to help her with dealing with people. I know this must be hard but she needs to find a reason to live. If it is people who are making this hard on her then it will need to be people who will make easier for her. Therapy will still need to be in place so she can keep her thoughts in line and organized and not let them roam into darkness.

Answer 5

She should do homeschool.

Explain to her that if she killed herself, what that would do to you. If she lost you, what would she go through? You should sit down with her and talk your heads off about everything she is going through. Explain to her that college life is different, nobody teases you... tell her that the majority of people in school are only teasing her because everybody else is doing it. When people tease her, she needs to fight back. She might be scared, but saying things when the other person said stuff first is justified... so she can get angry... and that will give her a boost of confidence. Take her out, go out every weekend with her... she needs to have something to look forward to when everything else seems like hell. Help her study. Help her come up with things to say when someone tries to tease her, boost her confidence. And most important, get her some help! She needs to talk with a psychologist and get medication.

Answer 6

She needs long term therapy. Try an internet search for inpatient treatment facilities that are within a distance you can get her to. It sounds like if someone doesn't get her some serious help right away she may succeed at her next attempt. It sounds as thought she has several issues going on and needs intensive treatment, not outpatient appointments. Maybe if people are truly that cruel public school is not the place for her right now. Right now she is not in the right frame of mind to help herself, you and your parents need to intervene and try to save her before it is too late.

Answer 7

Your sister sounds very much like she may be bi-polar. That is a condidion in people that cannot get themselves out of depression because the chemicals for being happy are not even created by their brain. The only way to get her happy if she is bi-polar is to get her on chemical medicines that she is missing. Only a psychiatrist can help with that. There are many types of bi-polar conditions since there are a variety of chemicals that a bi-polar person could not be producing. Some hospitals actually have wards for people who are having problems like your sister is and they have psychiatrists who actually see the people who are in the hospital on those wards regularly to identify what condition the person actually has. I do suggest strongly that you get her to a good psychiatrist as soon as possible. Therapy will not help her if she is bi-polar or even manic depressant. Both of those symptoms can only be treated with the proper medications. If she is bi-polar, she will have to stay on her medications for her life since her brain just doesn't produce them for her. A bi-polar person cannot be happy because the happy endorfins are not created by the brain. Even at their best, they are still going to be depressed. If the courts made you your sister's legal guardian, then by law, you have the right to put her into a hospital that can help her. Also, if you believe she is a menace to herself and society and could bring bodily harm to herself or others, you can also check her into one of the wards in the hospitals to get her help. I suggest you call your local hospital and also your doctor to relay the concerns you have and ask them if they can refer her for some treatments. Tell them you want her checked for Bi-polar Syndrome or Manic Depressant. I'm betting she has one or the other of those problems and she won't be able to feel better about life unless she can get the proper medicines in her that will pick up her spirits.

Answer 8

I'm Sorry. I hate to tell you this, but, she needs to be locked up in a psychiatric unit for her own safety. You need to commit her if she won't go voluntarily. I've worked in a hospital for over 20 years. So, Listen. If she won't go to the hospital ER now, call an ambulance. Once she's there ask for a mental health evaluation. Based on that ask for her to be involuntarily committed if they think she's an acute risk for suicide. If she's not..at this moment, wait for that moment. In the meantime keep a close watch on her. God bless and I hope things work out.

Answer 9

you're able to desire to tell an grownup! right this moment! tell the college and shop a watch on her. attempt an counteract what they are asserting as much as you may without being patronising approximately it. tell her casually how enormously she seems along with her hair tied up like that or the appropriate shes wearing. make confident she is conscious you love her unconditionally and you will continually be there for her. attempt and get her into distinctive social circumstances. See if she'll connect a activities group or something else social outdoors of faculty to make some distinctive pals. If it gets extremely undesirable, possibly your dad and mom might desire to think of roughly shifting her to a distinctive college or having her residing house schooled back.

Answer 10

a friend of mine in high school was just like this. one night she came to my house in such a daze and mess of scratches that we called the cops. they came out and took her to the psych ward of the hospital and did a full investigation on why she was hurting herself. another friend suffered as your sister is but she didn't come out with how suicidal she was until she was almost 30. her husband had to intervene and talk to the doctors for her. since she is under age your parents have to do things for her legally. they need to take her to the psych ward of the hospital, call the cops and tell them what she is doing. DONT try to hide any of it get the cops involved asap before she succeeds in her want to die. My sister tried overdosing, starving herself, silting her wrists, and so on and my parents didn't seem to get it they just thought she was being a teen. luckily she never succeeded and got help. I know how it hurts to see someone you love be so self hating and destructive. tell her how concerned you are and how much you love her and that you want to help her. Try your hardest to not use any negative words like no, not,hurting, etc... she needs all the positive wording you can muster.
God be with you and her

Answer 11

You should got to the hospital! call her an ambulance and get her help asap. That is a veeeery dangerous medical sondition that needs attention from mental health professionals. Even if you dont have insurance, you can recieve free care. Please pray for her and get her some help for her. You seem like you love her, and if shes tried it before (meaning she was suicidal w/ plan of killing herself) and shes not on any medication or shes non-compliant wiht her meds than she needs to get attention. Use 911, she'll get to where she needs quicker....my office is an ambulance! I'll pray for her.