If you are the parents of a 17 year old would you let her date someone 21?

Question

If you are the parents of a 17 year old would you let her date someone 21?

Im amazed by the outpour of answers to this serious question. Keep answering and thank you so much for writing your opinion

Answer 1

I'm 16 and my boyfriend is 21(I'll call him 'V').I was 15 when we met.I know many people would assume that as abuse,statutory rape,anything they would think...but I'd suggest you first read what my opinion is,as a person who is in high school,dating "a college person" as some of you said.
Everyone will say that "love" between a 21yo and a 16yo isn't possible.But it is.Anyway - why am I with V?Here is why.
He is a vey kind, gentlemanlike and well-bred man.He is a friend with...everybody and everybody likes him.When I'm with him,he is always careful with me.We understand each-other.We talk about thing,I can't talk about with anyone and he understands me and always gives me advice,so that I can go out of a hard situation.When he hesitates about something,we talk and consider all the things he can do and which one is the best to be done now.No matter he is 21,he is a person and like all other people he has feelings,he has problems and he has worries - just as everybody.He also has his right mind,as alll other people.When we go out, wherever we go,he protcts me from dangerous situations (even while we cross the street),he never lets me feel 'alone' and he never lets anyone harm me or do anything dangerous near me.
About the sex question (I know many of you will ask for that too), we never have sex if I don't want and he never asks me to do anything I don't want if it is not important (according to him,sex is waaay not important enough so he should ask me to do it and that is right - sex is definitely not that important in a true-love-relationship).
You might ask youselves "Why would a 21yo man want to date a 16yo girl if he doesn't have sex in mind?They have nothing in common".That is not so right.If a man doesn't have sex in mind (of course he has hormones but he is not attracted by me because of the idea of having sex,as most 20-25yo men are),there are other thing which make an attraction between two,as first sight different people.One of the most important things is that we understand each-other and we can talk about...everything.I can ask him anything,he can ask me anything.When we disagree about something,we sit down and discuss it,after that we make a consensus.If he asks me whether to do something or not,he is sure he will get an answer which is the best for him and sam is with me - if I ask him whether to do something or not,I know he will give me an answer which will help me most.
About the age thing - yes - he is 21 and I'm 16.He is a man,I am a girl.I am a bit more developed than my coevals (people still ask me what do I study in the college and I had the same questions when I was 14,which means I have looked more...grown than I really were).I hardly ever meet a person who follows the logic in him and not the emotions only - a lot of people (about 90% of all the people I know and probably more percentage of the people YOU know) follow only their emotions when taking an important (or any) decision.So, V is not a person that follows his emotions (emotions are love, hatred, happiness, sadness, anger, jealousy and covetousness).It's a real happiness to find a person who doesn't take important decisions under the emotion effects.
So,I'd say "Yes" - I would let a 16yo or a 17yo date a 21yo IF he is a responsible, right-minded person and IF the girl is a responsible, right-minded person.

Answer 2

From the responses I have read below, someone does not want "NO" as a response. If you are not listening, how can you learn the way people think about this happening? If a 17 year old dates a 21 year old, it means nothing if there is no sex or preview to sex performed. I would definitely be interested in knowing how grown up this 17 year old is, and does she know that her 21 year old can be arrested for molestation of an underage person? I would say also that there is nothing wrong with just dating a person older than you, depending upon his and her intentions.

Answer 3

If the age of consent is 17 your parents cannot have anyone arrested for seeing you. If something happened in the past there was a statute of limitations on the time your parents could have done something. You have a choice, peace with your parents vs. a relationship with this guy. I have a feeling he isn't going to be invited into your home, so you'll probably have to go out to see him. It's best to listen to your parents and use the time until you are 17 to get them to accept this guy. If they were comforted in the fact that you aren't interested in a sexual relationship with this guy they might have a change of heart, but that scenario is a little difficult to believe. They do understand though. They know how hard it is to argue with the heart.

Answer 4

It would depend on the kids.

I would want to know the 21-year-old pretty well and if he were a trustworthy person and cared about her I would probably allow it.

The biggest problem is the level of maturity of a 17-year-old. She will mature a lot in the next year if she's typical, but if the 17-year-old has her act together there is nothing wrong with her dating a 21-year-old.

Answer 5

I don't see why not, as long as 17 is above AOC within your state. You don't want either of them getting into legal problems -- and don't be naive enough to think they won't end up having sex so it won't be a problem.
It's adviseable to invite this guy over for dinner some time and find out his true intentions for your baby girl before making a final decision, as well. Get to know him, make sure he realizes your eyes are on his back, but you do trust him or you wouldn't be letting him date your daughter.

Answer 6

well that depends on what you beleive is wrong or right you cant let some one else make that choice...... think about the age difference between you and your partner????? also i know it sounds really silly but everyone thinks the same.... a girl being 17 and datin someone thats 21sounds bad and sounds like a big difference even though it isnt whereas if you are 21 and dating someone that is 25 it doesnt sound like a big difference in age or sound anywhere near as bad does it? again though its still only 4 years..... it is upto you though

Answer 7

Yes, because if your allow her to, she will break up with him sooner. If you forbid it, she will most likely stick to it, because she is 17 and knows it's something you don't want her to do.

Try to respect her choice, maybe she has figured out that men mature more slowly than women, and emotionally they are the same age. Perhaps she is tired of the way highschool kids treat each other, and likes the kindness (or whatever quality he has) she found in her boyfriend.

Get to know the guy if you are worried, this way at least you know she is safe.

Answer 8

It depends on the person, not the age. I was 17 when I met my husband, he was 26.


Here 17 IS legal so technically I couldnt stop her. I just hope that if I didnt like the person, there is enough respect for her to understand why.

I would be careful of the exact words you used. My mother didnt want us together and said "If you live here you cant date him". I moved out and never went back.

Answer 9

No but she'll be married anyway younger then 17 like 13 if she wants to get married that young. Dating is against my religion. In my religion as soon as a girl gets her first period she is now an adult and is able to get married and have children with her husband.

Answer 10

Depends on the young man, I dated 17 yr old when I was 21 and her parents didn't mind and grew to like me very well. i wouldn't recommend it but it still depends on the maturity of the people involved.