My husbands brother informed us that he just married his 19 year old girl friend at the court house on aug 1st and is going to have a wedding in two years. I think this is the most idiotic idea i have ever hear of.( both the courthouse so soon and the wedding later) and it bothers me that we are going to have to sit through and join in on this mockery. What is the point......once you are married you can not have a wedding day at a later time that is just tacky. My husband and i were married in june of this year, may be im just being immature in beging bothered by the fact the his brother got married so close to when we did.
Please only serious answers and no insults.
2007-08-06 18:39:48 · 24 answers · asked by Mrs ACO 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
a reception later is fine..but an actual wedding? why?
2007-08-06 19:00:12 · update #1
he has only known the girl 1 year and has proposed to two others in the last 4 years and she isnt pregnant she was but not any more, they wanted to turn their two college loan fasa forms in together and they were afraid that they would not be able to rent an apartment together that no one would rent them one in less they are married
2007-08-06 19:08:29 · update #2
Your right, it shouldnt really bother you. It is their life, let them do what they want. Just catch yourself on it and tell yourself its nothing that should bother you or you will end up feeling resentful of every little thing they do. Dont waste your time.
2007-08-06 18:42:51 · answer #1 · answered by Justme 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some of why he did it the way he did was cause he probably had an idea how others would react.
I think he's showing a certain amount of maturity and responsibility in having the wedding later. A wedding should celebrate the marriage. In two years (which the first two can be the most challenging) they'll have something to celebrate. He'll probably be able to afford a wedding at that point as well. Plus his family may be more receptive once they've seen that the union has been a success.
2007-08-06 18:55:43 · answer #2 · answered by goodcook 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Many people do this. If they want to be married, but don't have the money or the time for a big to-do, they'll have a quick courthouse wedding or an elopement, and then wait until an anniversary and have a large vow renewal ceremony. Heck, maybe they just didn't want to 'upstage' your wedding, or, worst case scenario, she's pregnant or something.
The way you worded it, specifiying that she was 19 and saying the courthouse was 'so soon' makes me think that there is an age difference and that he hasn't been with her for very long. Is that a correct assumption?
I don't think it would bother me, but I can't really say since I'm not in that situation. If it really bothers you that much, just don't go when they have the renewal. There's really nothing else you can do about it.
2007-08-06 18:51:09 · answer #3 · answered by Queen Queso 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What your brother-in-law does shouldn't matter to you either way, its his life and no one elses. I guess it depends more on the circumstances, had they been dating for a long time? Were they really in love? Can they afford a wedding at this time? If they have been dating for a long time, are really in love and can't afford a wedding at this time there is nothing tacky about what they are going to do. There are many couples that just get married by the court and have a wedding later because they couldn't afford it. They aren't stealing away from your day, it was in June, you have a whole month in between. I think you should just be supportive, it's hurtful when people put down your plans especially wedding plans, just let them be and just worry about yourself. A wedding celebration later on is not a mockery of anything, it that that is what they want to do and that is what will make them happy then so be it.
2007-08-06 19:01:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like there is a lot more to this story...
It is perfectly fine to have a civil ceremony and then an actual wedding at a later date. It is more and more common in this day and age. My husband and I were married in a civil ceremony in April and we are having a church wedding and reception on September 22nd. Two years seems a bit much, but there might be personal reasons for this. Our wedding has already cost us over fifteen thousand dollars for reception site, attire, decorations, DJ, photographer and deposits on food and flowers...we still have quite a few more things to pay for. Most likely there is a financial reason behind their wait. Bottom line, you had your day. Let them have theirs...it is not a personal attack on you or your life...let people be themselves and be supportive. That will get you a lot further in life.
2007-08-06 22:06:55 · answer #5 · answered by Lillianne 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of people have a court house wedding with a formal wedding down the road. A couple may do it for many different reasons and it is more common then you expect.
I understand that it might bother you that they got married so close to your date, but maybe the couple were planning on getting married way before that but wanted to have a quite one so it didn't take away from you and your husband's limelight? This way they can show their love for each other but out of respect, wait for their own special day with the family.
BUT.... I don't know your brother-in-law, he can just be an attention getting, jealious person who jumps into things without reason or rhyme and might regreat this choice down the road. Believe me, I know lots of people like that.
2007-08-06 18:49:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it does sound a little immature. Just because it's not what you would do, doesn't mean that it's idiotic. Maybe they can't afford a wedding now and would like to save up for one. Another reason they may have wanted to have a wedding later is because you had yours around the same time and they did not want steal your sunshine. You shouldn't be worried about that or even be bothered. Just don't even let things like that into your head it will make life much better and come time for his brothers actual wedding, you will be understanding and supportive. If not, you will be annoyed for two years over something petty.
2007-08-06 18:47:59 · answer #7 · answered by TandL 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
some people have a civil marriage first but then gets a church wedding afterwards...maybe that's what your brother-in-law wants...or maybe they cant afford yet to have a grand wedding, that's why they opted to get married in court first
i dont think there isn't really any problem about both of you being married in the same year. I'm sure when you and your husband got married, your brother-in-law was happy for the two of you. Don't you think you should be happy for him too? It's their life and that's how they want it...don't worry about it...concentrate on making your own married life happy and content.
2007-08-06 18:46:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunatly, it is not your life. I know people who have gotten married in a courthouse and then had a wedding later on, and it has worked out fine. Basically, they want to get married- but want to take the time to work and save together and then have their family and friends join in for an actual ceremony. It doesn't become their 'new' wedding date. It's more for traditional reasons.
It's okay to not agree with this, but for their sake, and for you and your husband, do not let this bother you so much. And do not start problems. If they are happy, let them be happy.
2007-08-06 20:26:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would be supportive of this wedding as much as it might bother you. Somtimes we feel like people are doing things to just make themselves more high on the stool. I understand your feeling on the matter. I wouldn't make a big deal over it. Sometimes the spotlight shines on you for a long time, other times it doesn't last long.
When my husband and I got married his brother had just been married for only about 6 months. Althought theirs was planned and ours was spur of the moment it was still our decision to have the wedding. We had been together for nearly 4 years. We didnt' get married to steal their spot light, we got married bacause we were ready and felt it was the right time to do us. It's hard to be supportive of somthing when you won't let yourself be. Just take a deep breath and understand that they want to do this and it is their decision. Be a good sister-in-law and be there for them.
2007-08-06 18:50:31 · answer #10 · answered by kristina13333 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your brother-in-law is really immature. He's married but going to have the wedding in two years? yeah, riiight...
Did he give any reason why the courthouse vows now? Is his girlfriend pregnant? Or is he the kind of guy who needs all of the family's attention focused on him, and that's why he did it?
I'd be annoyed, too, at his stupidity. Good for you for choosing the smart brother! lol
Try not to let it bother you - I'm guessing that he'll be bringing his latest girlfriend to your 50th wedding anniversary. He just doesn't sound mature enough to make a marriage work for real...
By the way - Congrats on getting married and best of luck to you both!
2007-08-06 18:52:04 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋