What do I talk about with my long-distance boyfriend?

Question

My boyfriend and I are doing the long-distance thing and we were once (when we lived a few miles apart) very close...as in we spoke about marriage and everything. Well, now that we live 2 states apart, we have nothing to talk about. I feel that we're not as connected. We both talk about superficial things that happen to us during the day--the kind of stuff you talk to with a grandparent you haven't spoken to for a while and have nothing much to talk about. We never had a communication problem, and I worry that the problem is just that we don't have much to say. But there has to be a few good things we can talk about to flirt with each other, learn more about each other, and grow closer--even if it is mostly over the telephone. Does anyone have any good ideas of topics I can bring up to him or any advice on how to flesh out the conversations we do have? I'm sick of us boring each other! He's an amazing man and this is a wonderful relationship that I DEFINITELY don't want to lose!

Answer 1

This is hard, I dated a guy long distance for a year and half, everytime we talked things just came naturally. Just be random I guess, I mean if you cant truly find anything to talk about then the interest must not be there. Talk about your friends, what happened that day, whats on tv, anything that sparked you that day or something funny that happened to you then let the conversation begin to carry itself.

Answer 2

I hear you. I wonder whether you two ever spoke on the phone much at all when you lived in the same place. Some people just hate talking on the phone. I've always had trouble with it... I can't think of what to say so I wait for the other person to start and meanwhile they are waiting for me to say something. Then we both start talking at once, etc. Phone conversations can't be forced, and I know it's hard when you can't see each other, you wish that you could talk on the phone all the time. I think the difference is that when you're in the same room with someone, it's OK if you don't talk because you can still see the person and touch them. But over the phone if there's any silence, it's like what's the point.

I think this is one of the reasons LDRs are such a challenge. I was in one once and the guy (my ex) used to fall asleep while we were on the phone!

So I'm not sure what to suggest... Do you both have internet access? (Obviously you do or we wouldn't be here!) Another LDR I had consisted largely of instant messaging when we couldn't be together. It's a little less pressure because there are other things you can do online while you wait for a response, and you can send each other fun links and cute pictures talk about articles you read together or whatever.

I've gone on long enough... If you've been a couple for a long time, and it's meant to be, you guys will overcome this communication stand-still. I hope you don't have to be separate too long :D Good Luck.

Answer 3

Spending timeover the phone/email only will either make or break a relationship. The physical element is not there, so you are left with only the personality to deal with.

It will be a good time to get to know him for who he really is. Start by asking what he did that day..

Talk about what you've been reading with each other

Talk about what happened at church in the sermon etc.

Talk about a movie you've both watched and what you felt about it. Make sure you let him answer first - men seem to have more trouble opening up than guys..

Good luck!

Answer 4

Maybe see how his day was or if anything interesting has happened lately? or try playing an online game together if u both have a computer, that way u both share an interest in which u can spend time together and possibly bond more.
that's what my bf and i do since we're in a long distance relationship as well, we just share funny stories on the phone and talk about whatever, and we have found a game in which we both play and we've gotten closer by playing together cuz he's talked about marriage and that stuff even though he's extremely shy. (he isn't the type to really talk about that since he's shy) hope i've helped somewhat.
~Jaz

Answer 5

it sounds to me that you guys had more of a physical connection, even if neither of you relized it. It also sounds like maybe you guys have grown apart or changed. You can rack your mind for topics to talk about, you can talk to him about how you feel that you dont have deep conversations anymore and you miss that. Or instead of asking " what to talk about" maybe you should ask " why is this boring and what has changed" How often do youall talk on the phone? How long have you been apart? I know that you dont want to lose the relationship but you also dont want to hold on to a relationship, that seems to be drifting apart, and while one of you hold on the other one strays. But in all truth you NEED to talk about your feelings with your boyfriend (and that will give u something to talk about :)). And you need to take a second look into your feelings and the relationship......Hope I helped ...Tried Good Luck I hope everything goes well for both of you

Answer 6

why not asking him that u r worried about this whole no-intersting convo whatever thing and want to talk more liek u guys used to i bet he feels the same and is wondering why and worried so yeah and hey if u both say this u guys will be close again and talking comfortably in no time :]

Answer 7

ask what he likes in food in music in books --- what are your interests --- get him to open up his dreams his desires his life just talk and ramble on the words will flow ---- best wishes