Ok so the wedding date that me and my fiance picked was July 23, 2008 because it would be 7~23~08. We thought it would be nice because by birthday lands on a 23rd and his on a 7th and its like combining the two days to make our wedding day. My fiances grandfather died i and he thought on July 22nd which i thought was cutting it close but we could deal with it, and then i found out that the anniversary of his death is actually on July 23. would it be rude/wrong if we kept the date? My fiance said he would be fine, but what about his grandmother? Should we keep the date or think of anohter date?
2007-08-06 17:47:46 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I think it should be okay to keep the date, but just to make sure nobody's feelings are hurt, ask your fiance's grandmother and anyone else that you are concerned about. It is really wonderful of you to be so considerate of other people's feelings.
2007-08-06 17:52:23 · answer #1 · answered by funkychair 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I suggest you to find a different date. How are you going to invite the family and relatives to your wedding on the same day of the anniversary of the grandfather's death? No, please change your date. Plus, July 23, 2008 is on a Wednesday. Do you really want to get married on Wednesday? I suggest you to move the date at least 2 months away from the anniversary. I know that you are trying to make the wedding date more special by combining your birth date and his. But getting married is already a special occasion. What's more special? Both of you found each other!
2007-08-06 17:58:31 · answer #2 · answered by Caitlyn 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First of all, I love your date because of the reasoning behind it. I agree with the others by asking the grandmother and making her feel special on that day. Secondly, I would suggest using a rose to recognize him on your wedding day. You can write this in your program and have the minister make a comment during the ceremony. We did this for all of our deceased grandparents including a grandfather who past away one month beforehand. It will honor his grandfather as well as give the grandmother happy memories on the anniversary as well as it will surround her with family on a day that normally would be difficult for her.
2007-08-06 18:04:28 · answer #3 · answered by strtuptalk 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its wonderful you are thinking about other people when it comes to your wedding. Talk to his grandma and explain why you have picked the date and that you in no way want to belittle her grief on what could be a rough day for her and others in the family.
If she is comfortable with it, make a point of briefly honoring his grandfather during the reception and thank her for being an inspiration for your future life together.
2007-08-06 19:25:25 · answer #4 · answered by Mona 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would first discuss it with his grandmother and see how she feels about it.
I do think that having your wedding on that day would help remember his grandfather in a good way and it would be a celebration of life not death.
If his grandmother seems to have a problem with it then I would change the day.
2007-08-10 04:57:33 · answer #5 · answered by Emily G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I probably would change the date, especially since it's not like he passed away on the 23rd of another month. Since it is the anniversary, I would steer clear of that date. However, thats just me and you're a different person. The best thing to do is ask his grandmother and his parents what they think.
Good luck and I hope things work out!
2007-08-06 18:00:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ask her, say I know this may be hard but in some way I feel that Grandpa would be with us on our day too. I think he would really have liked us getting married. I just didn't want to hurt your feelings so I thought I should ask. I love you both so much and it is up to you we could move it, but this is a the reason why we picked this day was because
2007-08-06 17:55:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Keep the date. Turn sad memories associated with the date into happy ones, the beginning of a union between two people who love one another enough to make a committment.
It will help his grandmother keep her mind off of the sad anniversary, just spoil her a little on the day, make her feel special. Good luck
2007-08-06 17:53:03 · answer #8 · answered by bluegirl6 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ask his grandmother and parents. Make sure there will be no hurt feelings, if so then you should push it elsewhere. If not I would do a thing on the programs, and do a thing for those who couldn't be here today, we remember (grandpas name) who may not be here in person but in spirit.
Not worded like that, but I think his family would be deeply delighted that the two of you took time and the effort to include him on your special day.
2007-08-06 19:47:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It may be a nice way of keeping his memory alive. I would ask grandma what she woudl prefer for you to do. When you ask let her know that you respect the years that she was with his grandpa and that you wish for her to enjoy and celebrate with you at your wedding but if that day would be emotionally too hard for her you are open to moving your wedding date. She may like the idea of you getting married then or she may wish for you to move the date slightly....ask her opinion and then take it into consideration, remember you want her to enjoy and share in your special day.
2007-08-07 02:48:41 · answer #10 · answered by texascutie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋