At what age should I separate my kids into own beds/room?

Question

Do you own twins? boy/girl twins? or Irish twins like myself. My 2 kids are 12.5 months apart in age. They slept in their own rooms until this recent move in late April/may. They are 2.5/3.5 yrs old. boy and girl. They refuse to sleep in separate rooms, much less diff beds. They sleep in a double bed...and since they actually hate touching ea other, I have the bed turned so that they sleep in it horizontally, so it is wider..and shorter, but since kids..they don't notice the length. and have a body ,long pillow down the middle, so they won't bump into one another, cos they hate that. However, they won't sleep alone, no matter what I try.
Is this weird? and at what age do you think I should 'make' them sleep alone?
I mean they see mommy n daddy sleep together..so it has to be hard on their brains to understand why they have to sleep alone.
Parents of siblings only respond or will get a thumbs down.

omg, i only now reread question and saw i typed 'own' twins.. omg...not what I meant..please don't osterize me!! I meant 'have'

wow, thanks for sooo many great answers and responses. Have made my husband esp feel better. He slept in same bed w/his brother for years and has 4 of them, so this was really his 'concern'
I know an old friend that lived in subsidised housing and had many kids and she wasn't allowed to let boys sleep in same room as girls etc.. but yet lived virtually free....those who dont have that have to make kids share rooms.
However, I live well off..it is just mine want to share..
anyway.. to one who asked what 'irish twins' are...
it is when having siblings 12 or less months apart...common in ireland...catholics... :)
ideally in the same year. say had a baby jan 3rd 2007 and birthed another baby 12/07..

anyways, this is going to be hard to choose best answer!

Answer 1

LOL...that's kind of funny because that's the first thing I noticed...

"own" hehe..I wouldn't have ostrasized you...just teased a little...lol

well...in my opinion...I think it is probably appropriate until they notice a difference, and become uncomfortable...I gave my son and daughter baths together until they started asking questions about eachother...ect...

I think there is nothing wrong with it at this age, especially as they are comforted by eachother's company. I like to encourage closeness anyway. :)

Answer 2

If you don't have a problem with them sleeping in the same bed i wouldn't bother trying to pull them apart. It should be ok for them to sleep in the same bed for a while longer it shouldn't be too long before they are sick of it. You mentioned that they don't like to touch so they wont be able to both fit in the bed comfortably. After that they might still want to stay in the same room but since they are still young it should be okay until they are atleast 5 or 6. I would take advantage of the extra room you could make it into a guest room or maybe something the whole family could enjoy.

Anyway im not a parent to siblings so you might as well give me a thumbs down now lol.

Answer 3

My 14 year old and 8 year old boys have separate rooms but on weekends and holidays I allow them to sleep together.

They have always got on and there is rarely any friction between them.

I have always made them go to bed a good half hour before I want them to be asleep so that they can read or play quietly in bed and the older brother used to read to the younger one and they just seem to have a certain bond and enjoy each others company.

I have to make them sleep in separate rooms on school nights though otherwise they keep talking and laughing past 'bed' time.

My older boy has a double bed and my younger boy has bunks but they like to sleep together in the older boys room and now my little 15 month old daughter gets in with them too while they are reading and talking.

I really don't think you need to think about separating them until it becomes a problem for either of them. They will work out when they want their own space, lol and it might not be for a long time to come.

Also if they wake in the night then they have each other and won't come in and wake you in the night :-)

Answer 4

your children like to know someone is in the room its not bad they can stay like that for now. When the time comes put twin beds together and put the long body pillow between them and slowly move the beds apart a tiny bit each time until the body pillow does not stay up anymore. Then show them that they wont touch each other. see how that works and slowly move the beds to the farthest place from each other in the room that you can. They may decide that its "ok" and by then they will be older so you could possible talk to them about it. But I wouldnt worry I used to care for siblings that slept in the same room until they were around 8 and 10 then they wanted their own rooms. It worked out ok.Good luck

Answer 5

Half of that decision should be made by you, and half by the children. Most young children don't like sleeping alone, often for no obvious reason. It's partly the fears of monsters and other scary things that run through their imaginative minds, and partly something in their sub-concious instincts of nature-when you are young and alone, you are vulnerable.

Besides, they're siblings and they want to be with one another.

Because they are boy/girl (or at least that's what I believe you implied) they should be separated a little earlier than siblings of the same gender. Around 6 or 7 is a good age, unless they start showing signs of wanting to be seperate before that, or simply tell you so. Make the process of them getting their own rooms fun, and allow them to make most of the decisions about the decor, paint, whatever.

Seperating them may not be easy for them or you, so be prepared. But with some strength and encouragement you can make it a little easier.

Good luck!

Answer 6

When I was that age, my parents lived in a two bedroom home, so my brother (20 months younger) and I shared a bedroom until they remodeled into a three-bedroom home. I suppose we were about 6 & 7 years old when we were separated, but then it was a big deal for me to move out into my own room.

Is there anything wrong with young children of opposite sexes sharing a room? I really don't believe so. I think there will be a point at which they will naturally want their own space, and at that time you can encourage the move. If they don't initiate it and you are ready for them to move out, make-over both their rooms so they each feel as though they have their own special space. That *may* help them feel more comfortable apart.

They're very young yet. I don't think you need to be concerned.

Answer 7

Not twins but siblings that are 22 months apart. It will be hard for them and there will be some separtion anxiety. Try having them give each other a stuffed toy to sleep with that wears a piece of the others clothing. It could work. But when it comes down to it you are the parent and you have to tell them it is time to have a seperate room. They may not like it at first but they will get use to the idea. Just give them time to get ready so that its not all of the sudden. Good luck.

Answer 8

Don't worry. I won't ostracize you for a typo. I make silly mistakes like that all the time. My husband and I have had the discussion of how long our kids can share a room in our house. We decided that once they go to school they should have separate rooms If you don't have the ability to have them in separate rooms, I think you should at least have them in separate beds by the time the oldest is 5 or 6.

I am not a mommy yet. Trying desperately though. Please don't just give me a thumbs down, because I put thought into that answer. 80(

Answer 9

I have boy/boy twins who are 8. They still share a room. We tried to separate them when they started kindergarten, but we would find one sleeping on the other's floor. The now share a room, both with full beds. Over the summer, they've started to sleep in one bed with their stuffed animals in the other. When my two neices slept over, all 4 of them slept in one bed and all the animals on the other (with my 4 year old on a mattress on the floor so he wasn't kicked off the bed).

If they don't do so by themselves, I'd say try to separate them before they go to kindergarten. If you want more advice, try contacting a local twins club to see what they think, especially since they are b/g. Otherwise try the national twins club message board. www.nomotc.org will give you links to find local clubs and the message board.

Answer 10

My brother and I used to sleep in the same room.

Once I started having my own friends from going to school I disliked having my brother around, I was a mean big sister unfortunately.

Around that time we moved and I was able to have my own room and neither of us minded the transition since we fought so much.

I hate to say it, but siblings are for adversity, and now that we are older, (ie, he matured...) we get along a lot better and we are close.

I think they will let you know when they are ready to be in separate beds/rooms. Right now they are toddler age, and it isn't a big deal. Probably when the first one starts school, that child might want his/her own bed.

Answer 11

(me and my brother are a year and a half apart) as it is its like there sleeping in seperate beds becuase of the pillow so i say leave them like that till they are 6 or 7 or until they cant sleep horizontally anymore and then they should have ther eown rooms when they are 10 or 11 becuase by then they have there own seperate intrests and want to show that in there rooms
hope this helps