I talked to my 15 year old daughter today about our next steps. Her Dad and I are divorced, but always thought that we would get back together.
He moved due to job reasons and she is staying with me. I live in another state.
I have to make a decision today if we will move back to with her Dad or stay here. I said that we will stay here.
She cried and said "I wish that I would die." She was sad for some time and said that there is nothing to do in this town. She misses her friends and surroundings.
I want to do what is best for her. Yet, I don't want history to repeat.
My ex-husband does put me down and is controlling. I see my daughter as being happier with both parents though.
I care for my child, yet I don't think that she sees that. I don't know how to show it to her.
2007-08-06 15:39:41 · 4 answers · asked by Stareyes 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
oh the pain of growing up, another talk is not to far off. Sit down with her, tell her your hopes dream (past present future and shattered) TELL HER exactly how you feel about the relationship with your X- your parents- her father. A reality check is important for her to see your needs and wants- which also involve her. Missing her friends and surroundings is natural but remember children are resilient. By sharing your inner most thoughts and feelings LOVE shines Thur. I am soooooo proud of you for making decisions that will affect you in the long run- now it is time to let Motherhood come to the for-front- make the effort to share- after a bit of soul searching your daughter will also see you are making decisions for two that will affect each of you in the future. You'll be amazed how she will grasp and understand you. Love is not always show- it comes with a deep understanding and need of that one special person in your life.
2007-08-07 06:13:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ugh, don't listen to Kim J. She's a moron. Never stay married just for the kids. It'll mess them up more than anything else.
I'd stay where you are. Yes, she'll cry about her friends & surroundings for a while, but she'll get over them. You won a big hurdle here with your husband dropping off your daughter. He's shown that he obviously only wanted custody of her in order to get you to come back. If you move back, even just to live close by, you put yourself in risk of being controlled by him again. He will see it as a victory. With her being in another state she is also out of his manipulative reach & can truly start to heal.
Just give it time. There is nothing that you can say or do to immediately take the pain away. Just show her all of the things to do & see in the neighborhood until school starts. Once school starts she'll make new friends & within a year she'll have forgotten that she was so upset. As a matter of fact, I guarantee that by X-Mas she'll have forgotten. She's just pouting now because everything is so fresh & new.
If you don't stick to your grounds, she's not going to respect you & neither will your husband. Your husband will treat you worse because of it & your daughter will pull this every time she doesn't get her way.
2007-08-06 22:29:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you could do for your child is stay married. Try to work it out with your husband. She only has 3 more years with you. Could you sacrifice 3 years?
2007-08-06 15:58:51 · answer #3 · answered by jonesk_92656 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
move to the town that he lives in and as close as you can and be comfortable with.this way she has you both everyday if she needs and you will be in your own place making your own life and decissions.
2007-08-06 15:52:42 · answer #4 · answered by marilynfsmgm 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋