If someone asks a nosy question that is none of their business or you aren't comfortable with answering, what?

Question

is the most polite way to respond without actually answering? Can you say in response, Why do you ask?

Answer 1

Without being rude about it, I simply say, "I am not comfortable talking about that with you." Anyone worth talking to should respect your feelings, especially since you had the guts to be truthful about the encounter.

Answer 2

I agree that's it's none of their business what you do on your own time. Having said that, however, I have always felt exactly as you describe and wound up on the outside of the office cliques. I have to tell you that I regret it only because I now know that many people find jobs by forming friendships with co-workers who may eventually move on to jobs in other companies and could well be the means of you finding a job when you most need one. Also, the supervisors or managers are watching and listening and may consider you to be someone who isn't a team player or who doesn't fit in with company culture so you could be the first to be let go when the company needs to cut back. If I had it to do over again, I would try to establish "friendships" with co-workers whether I liked them or not. In the case of this woman, whenever I saw her I would initiate the conversation so I could control it. I would ask her questions and look interested while she talks for awhile. After a few minutes, I would make some excuse to end the conversation, for example, by saying my boss will start looking for me if I don't get back to work and end the conversation. In the past when people asked me what I did over the weekend, I would just make something up, like I had to visit a friend who has a broken leg was ill, or stay at a neighbors' house to watch their dogs while the friends were out of town, or whatever. When you work for someone else, you have to play the game. It doesn't sound like you are particularly happy in this situation. You may want to explore your options. Maybe you are in the wrong job or the wrong field. I hope this helps.

Answer 3

The first thing really to remember is that just because someone asks you a question, you are not obliged to answer! You are entitled to your privacy, and to decide what things you wish to discuss and what you don't.

However, having said that, there's no point in getting cross or impolite.

Most people are just curious, or perhaps don't know you well enough to know when they've crossed a boundary. So being upfront and saying "I don't feel comfortable discussing that type of thing" is a good part of the 'getting to know you' process.

The reply others have suggested, a smile and "Why do you want to know" is also always a winner ~ it puts the work back on the questioner to explain themselves! Sometimes they have a good reason for asking, at other times it's simply idle curiosity ~ which you do NOT have to satisfy!

Best wishes :-)

Answer 4

I very blatantly change the subject. They don't need to know, and I don't need to justify myself to them. For instance if they asked how much I make at work, I would respond yeah, I'm having green eggs and ham for supper. And if they ask again, I would repeat the very same answer, they will get the hint.

Answer 5

I believe Miss Manners has also approved of responding "Why do you ask?" when someone asks a question they shouldn't have. And if they persist, politely let them know you'd rather not say.

Answer 6

I have No Comment.
I'm not going to dignify that question with an answer.
I don't feel that question should be answered.
I'm not going to answer that.
That is an inappropriate question for me.

If you ask "why do you ask" and they answer you - what are you gonna do then, but answer their question.

Answer 7

"Why do you ask?" is always a good retort; however, if it continues and the person is pushy, why not just be honest and say, "I AM NOT COMFORTABLE ANSWERING THOSE TYPES OF QUESTIONS" period. If they ask again, the person is so stupid and dense that you need to get away from them.

Answer 8

try to change subject or turn the question around on the person who's asking, don't hesitate though, the person will know that you are looking for the way out or an excuse

Answer 9

I always say "I do not believe that you need to know." That just about always gets my point across that it is off limits.If they keep at it them I say " I'm not talking about it thank you very much.

Answer 10

You can say something like:
' I'm sorry that is really none of your business.'
'If I wanted you to know I would tell you.'
'Curiosity killed the cat.'

My all time favorite (from my favorite Teacher) is----
MYOB=mind your own beeswax