We've been together for over 16yrs and been married for 1yr and paln on having HUGE church wedding!
2007-08-06 15:27:02 · 11 answers · asked by nikki 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
No, no no. It is extremely tacky to have a "Wedding" with all the pomp and circumstance when you are already married. You can't do the formal "invitations, bridesmaids, ushers, flowergirls, big fancy gown and rings" wedding. What is the purpose of exchanging rings, when you are already married!?
There is no such thing as an anniversary wedding, and by the time of your wedding, you will be married for 3 to 4 years. A renewal of vows is NOT a wedding. A renewal of vows is a quiet, intimate affair where you and your spouse reaffirm your comittment to each other in front of your closest family and friends. You are already married.
This is like having a baby shower on your child's 5 year birthday just because you didn't get to have the big "Look at me" party before.
Don't do it. It will really come across to your guests that you are just doing a gift and attention grab...very poor taste. If you want to celebrate your relationship, skip the "wedding" farce you are trying to have....instead have a quiet, intimate renewal of vows in front of your family, and have a party (maybe a tasteful dinner party or a fun, informal get-together) with your closest family and friends afterwards.
2007-08-07 01:33:53 · answer #1 · answered by Kat 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I don't want to spoil your party, and you're going to do what you want anyway, but please re-think the BIG wedding 2 years from now.
You will have been married for 3 years by then, so by definition it's not a wedding (since you will already be wedded, understand). To some people it will just look like you're putting on a show (which will seem weird). To a lot of people it will look like a huge gift-grab (as in, we did something small and no one got us presents, so here's the BIG wedding - buy us stuff). To your older friends and relatives it will just seem silly that you're having the huge church wedding after 3 years of marriage - I mean, if it was so important to have a church wedding and have everyone there to witness it, why didn't you have it in the first place??
You could have a vow renewal and then a huge reception/anniversary party and that would at least make sense, but to have a big traditional church wedding when you've been married for 3 years is kind of making a mockery of the whole idea.
Again, just my opinion.
2007-08-06 22:48:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 2⤋
Oh my gosh, you're the third person today that has talked about having a "wedding" a few years after the "wedding".
Do you realize how many people you invite are going to hear about this and think "This is the stupidest idea I've ever heard of."
Enjoy your marriage, have a party to celebrate it, but don't try to have a do-over wedding. The purpose of a wedding is to BEGIN a new life together.
Do what you want, but I would not have a big church wedding, expecting people to show up for what is basically a sham (you aren't "getting" married, you're "staying" married).
2007-08-07 04:01:10 · answer #3 · answered by CrazyChick 7 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Im not trying to be negaitve but what is the point of having a big wedding 2 years later after you are already married, why not just go on a great vacation and have a party when you get back, what is the point of making people sit in a church and say vows that have already been said and when the pastor states i now pronounce you man and wife......you all ready are man and wife .......but then again everyone can do what you want.
2007-08-06 22:46:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
What kind of ideas are you looking for? I have an idea....how about realizing that you will have been married for three years by 2009? I also have advice, if I were your best friend in the whole world I wouldn't go to your grand-three-years-too-late church wedding. Why on earth are you doing this; is it a greedy gift grab?
2007-08-06 22:55:10 · answer #5 · answered by crazymommy3 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Wow...congratulations!
You'll have to be careful how you word your invitations, stressing the santification of your union and celebrating making it "offical" in the eyes of God. For your readings, I suggest something from Sarah and Abraham's story (they were blessed with children at a very advanced age and after decades of marriage...I'm sure there is a passage about God blessing those whom have waited or a long time) And another reading from the wedding at Cana, where Jesus turns the water into wine--the line about how most weddings bring out the best wine first and serve the inferior wines later, but at this wedding, the better of the wines was saved for last. You can also incorporate into the sermon some wine refrences, letting things age and grow better with time, savoring them once they have become their best.
And for gifts, you can ask your guests to bring a bottle of wine instead of a traditional "wedding" gift, since you have already established a home together over the last 16 years.
2007-08-06 22:51:10 · answer #6 · answered by monica t 3 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Okay, first... relaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaax.
No "ALL CAPS" or exclamation points allowed for a wedding still two years away. :)
Good news: You have oooooooodles of time to be inspired and make decisions.
First, figure out your budget.
Second, figure out what your budget WILL REALLY be.
Thirdly, grab as many wedding mags as you can (post requests on Craig's List and Freecycle.org). Then, figure out what makes you go "Oooooooooooooo!"
It will help you identify what you like and what you don't like.
Oh... and the sooner you could pinpoint a date and venue, the better. (Just in case.)
And please: Ignore anyone who tells you shouldn't have a big wedding because "you're already married." A marriage—a wedding—is for you and your beloved. No one else. That anyone could tell you that you shouldn't have a church wedding because it doesn't fit the norm is, quite frankly, well... ridiculous.
Enjoy it. Both of you. And congrats!
2007-08-06 23:06:25 · answer #7 · answered by Darling J 6 · 3⤊ 4⤋
Congrats!
Check out http://www.theknot.com
You have EVERY right to have a vow renewal wedding if you want to! Since you are already married, and can't get 'married' again, it would be a renewal of vows ceremony.
Start saving now, income tax refunds, money set aside in a wedding account each paycheck (this is how my fiance and I are saving).
2007-08-07 08:42:15 · answer #8 · answered by Terri 7 · 1⤊ 3⤋
If you are already married, no need to plan 'another' wedding. Aren't you glad??
2007-08-07 09:21:37 · answer #9 · answered by Lydia 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
do it in a garden all i can say dont know what you like or dont like or where u live to even give you any ideas or what religon you are
2007-08-06 22:31:03 · answer #10 · answered by rodeogirl 6 · 1⤊ 3⤋