In other words...if you are still hurt by the offense, have you really forgiven them?
2007-08-06 14:07:28 · 24 answers · asked by NONAME 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I think forgiving is giving up your claim to vengence, but that doesn't necessary equal all pain disappearing. Suppose a little child accidentally runs over the back of your heel in a supermarket with a shopping cart. It really hurts. The child comes over and says they're sorry sincerely and gives you a hug and you say, "that's alright sweetheart. I forgive you." You're not mad at the child anymore, but your heel is still in pain. I think emotionally its the same.......unfortunately there still is pain, just not anger that needs to be appeased.
2007-08-06 14:16:18 · answer #1 · answered by shrugger 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
To begin with, I think that forgiveness is an ongoing act, not a one-time event -- especially if the person has caused major hurt in your life. Sometimes I have to forgive a person over and over again, every time that the thought of what happened comes up again. That doesn't mean that I haven't truly forgiven them as much as I'm able to do at the time, but that there are deeper levels of forgiveness still to be gone through.
So I think it's possible to be going through the process of forgiving someone and yet still feel pain because of what was done to you
2007-08-06 14:17:28 · answer #2 · answered by Wolfeblayde 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is possible to forgive and not forget. You may have forgiven someone, but that does not mean that the pain they caused you is eliminated. IF the pain leaves you it will take time. Sometimes, retaining some of the pain is a good thing. You may have forgiven the person but that does not mean that you have to trust them again. Retaining pain will remind you to protect yourself in the future.
2007-08-06 14:12:50 · answer #3 · answered by conductorbrat 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, forgiveness brings healing to the person who has been hurt.
Spencer W Kimball (an LDS prophet) expressed it this way:
"Many people, when brought to a reconciliation with others, say that they forgive, but they continue to hold malice, continue to suspect the other party, continue to disbelieve the other’s sincerity. This is sin, for when a reconciliation has been effected and when repentance is claimed, each should forgive and forget, build immediately the fences which have been breached, and restore the former compatibility."
The bit I love is that part "restore the former compatibility." That bit really hit home for me, as to what forgiveness really is. It helped me a lot to stop feeling hurt by my mother's neglect / heedlessness ... and restored the happy relationship we had when I was younger.
2007-08-06 14:32:36 · answer #4 · answered by MumOf5 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. I think some hurts last a lifetime. Time does not heal all wounds, it does make them more tolerable though. So even though you may have forgiven the person remembering what they did may always hurt on some level.
2007-08-06 14:17:21 · answer #5 · answered by sbfairy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, not necessarily. Some offenses take years to get over.
Forgiveness is an act of obedience to the word of the Lord.
The freedom for yourself, and the person who caused the offense will come immediately..the feelings come later..
But they do come..one day..you will be free of all that pain, no matter what it is.
Just say, "Lord, I forgive them"..that's all you are required to do. There's wonderful power in forgiveness!
2007-08-06 14:11:45 · answer #6 · answered by Eartha Q 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you are still hurt by what they did, then no, you haven't truly forgiven them. When you forgive them, what they did should be in the past.
2007-08-06 14:13:26 · answer #7 · answered by Errin 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Put it this way, we're told that when we hold someone's sins against us and don't forgive, that person is bound to suffer. . .it's like a karmic thing also.
So what I do is ask God that nobody suffer for my hurt but me. And then you'd be surprised how quickly you stop hurting.
Think about it. . .would you like to see the person who hurt you suffer for it? If so, they will, but so will you.
I know how you feel. But they say that remaining angry or upset only hurts us and drags us down. We should find a way to accept the past and move on with a clear conscience that it's over.
2007-08-06 14:38:28 · answer #8 · answered by Fourth Line 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's sort of like saying that after you've set the bone, the broken leg should stop hurting...
Healing takes time, even after you've taken the necessary steps. All that forgiveness does is free you from your emotional attachment to that person so you can move on, in my opinion.
2007-08-06 14:13:24 · answer #9 · answered by prairiecrow 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are only still hurting because you have not truly Let It Go. How can you forgive and still hurt in the present moment over the DEAD past.
2007-08-06 14:12:51 · answer #10 · answered by Premaholic 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋