Just got married in june. been together 3 years.Inlaws moved from AL-rent apt 3blk away. Husb.& I are looking to buy a house. he wants his parents to move in with us. The dynamics in our relationship have changed dramatically since they have been around. my husband is a momma boy, and mom is trying to compeate for wife role. I understand that she is retired and offering to cook dinner is nice...but i am constantly compeating for a place/role. In laws constanstly say racial comments about me being a mix.(wht-Mex) and hubby wont let me talk to them about these issues...Because they would get hurt and offended.."They dont know any better" , i have to deal with it.
I do have fears of losing control of my household etc. when it comes to his parents, they win. I already told hubby i dont want ANYONE to live with us! The relationship between the 3 of them is sick, co-dependent,manipulative etc. I dont want to be a part of that. In-laws moving in was not something we agreed to!
2007-08-06 13:16:00 · 15 answers · asked by Heather W 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Why would you marry a guy knowing this about him? You can try to fight them moving in but it looks like you take last place in hubbys heart. Youre only other choice is to leave him.
2007-08-06 13:22:34 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 3⤊ 4⤋
you do not have divorce your husband because of this, there's a answer for each difficulty each and every now and then it takes alot of time and stressful artwork to uncover the respond. selection a million I trust you, why could you shoulder each and every of the burden and stop your occupation once you probably did not wana do it even to have a baby, so why do it for his mom? it is while i think of a compromise needs back in right here, that's his mom in spite of everything and he could share the burden so I recommend you ask him to help together with his mom have turns to shield her, make schedules, the place it may artwork around the two your careers and not intervene in any way. in the beginning up it is going to likely be confusing through fact something while first all started is confusing yet as quickly as issues get going it gets extra handy...possibly like this you'll discover that stability and could determine that a baby can slot in that busy existence type additionally....verify out it as a turning factor or a lesson and forge forward popping out effective instead of gazing it as a burden and defeat.
2016-10-09 09:07:47 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and husband need to be on the same team. Not in laws and him against you. Also he needs to tell his mother you are his wife, she is to show you respect as you show her respect. Racial comments are rude and not to be tolerated.
As far as them living with you, my husband wanted his dad to move in when we bought a house. I was not thrilled about it. We needed to stay at his dad's for 9 days. My father in law made it miserable for all. He will never live with us. I would not advise living with other family members as marriage is hard enough and it does not sound like your mother in law respects you and your husband needs to set things straight.
I would give him a choice either he stays married and straightens out mama or he can regress back to childhood and be single. Either way you will no longer be a door Matt.
2007-08-08 07:42:12 · answer #3 · answered by Kat G 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
this is just your first battle as a married couple. you just have to tough it out. But if you want to talk about it then get your husband into a place that no one can hear anything or go out somewhere. Then tell your husband what your feelings are. If he changes the sub. then change it back. talk it out. Through out your marriage you will have to go through many fights and disputes. you and your husband will mess up sometimes. But that's what you signed up for. But for like most the time you will love each other till death do you part.
2007-08-06 13:24:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Why can't you just love them? They're your husband's parents. Why do you say he's 'a momma boy' now; wasn't he one when you met him, fell in love with him, married him?
Why is everything so cliche? Try doing something that is not so predictable as hating your in-laws.
2007-08-06 13:33:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Put your foot down. No. No.No if you want your marriage to survive. Have you ever watched Everybody Loves Raymond?And call Dr. Laura.
2007-08-06 13:19:36 · answer #6 · answered by Gma Joan 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
everyone needs to have a long talk and have it out from there u will walk away with a better understanding of what everyones role should be
2007-08-06 13:19:24 · answer #7 · answered by a g 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Heather you´ll be in troubles....I´m sure you already know that!:::You gotta have a long talk with your husband. (don´t loose your temper by any means...SWEET and slow, that will mean that you´re worried about your marriage not about your inlaws coming-- but it affects--..which you and I know is the same). Is going to be a great mistake....The only safe place for inlaws is mars----(tell him that you invited all your family to your house to live with you)......Sorry,,,Don´t give up...Good luck! (Let us know what happens...)
2007-08-06 13:37:31 · answer #8 · answered by jackielafemme 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If your in-laws are not home-less or sick and can't take themselves, then there is no reason your in-laws should be living with the two of you.
2007-08-06 13:25:39 · answer #9 · answered by tlynellbrown 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Be firm in saying you are against it. You should not have to put up with insults in your own home.
2007-08-06 14:41:33 · answer #10 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋