I've been going on dates with this friend of mine for the last three months or so and he finally asked me to be his girlfriend. I said that I would really love to say yes but I'm having issues at the moment that I need to sort through. He told me he would give me a couple weeks to think it over then if I want he would be there. My issue is that I'm having trouble trusting him. He's given me no reason not to, but I am apparently still affected by my ex (he cheated on me and broke the whole trust thing inside me) what do I do to get over this?! HELP!!
2007-08-06 12:54:14 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I understand your hesitation and concern.
Our job is to love and to be heartbroken. Our hearts can handle it. Our egos cannot. Everything ends. Every relationship has to end one day, either by death or break up. You are bound to be heartbroken, and you were made to handle it. The new guy is not the old guy. This is your chance to write yourself a new story with the new guy.
Remember this:
1. Communicate honestly, openly, and nicely. Listen well, really well.
2. See the other person for who he is, not who you think he is, or who you want him to be.
3. If heartbreak is inevitable, enjoy the moments leading up to it.
Dive in, the water’s fine.
2007-08-06 13:06:16 · answer #1 · answered by teacup_trashy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you wre to fall off a bike or a horse what would you do to get over the fear? you would get back on the horse or bike and ride it! Same thing in the relationship, just go for it and the trust will come back, you just need to talk about your issue with this guy and hopefully he can help you with it. Go slow and your trust will return! Relationship are suppose to be fun so have a blast!
2007-08-06 13:20:22 · answer #2 · answered by Warren G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep telling yourself that you did nothing to deserve this and it wasn't your fault he cheated on you. I'm sorry you suffered and I hope it will never happen again. But if you are in a loving relationship, which sounds like you have a chance for, you'll heal. Not all men are cheaters and let me tell you, even if you get cheated on again you are strong enough to deal with it and move on. Don't deprive yourself of this chance. Tell him yes. And also tell him what you feel about this whole cheating issue and ask for his support. I'm sure he'll be happy to give it to you. Best Wishes.
2007-08-06 13:00:50 · answer #3 · answered by supergirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget the past, realise that not all guys are a bunch of cheating lying bastards. Also realise if you come into this relationship expecting it, often it will turn out that way. Learn to trust again (gosh i feel like a hypocrite) or turn your head on what would seem to be an ideal oppotunity
2007-08-06 12:58:32 · answer #4 · answered by ChAtMaN 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try 'talking to your friend' about your 'trust issues' ... tell him that your 'ex' cheated on you, and that you are having 'extreme trouble' in trusting him even though you 'know' that he is trustworthy. That is the BEST WAY for YOU to 'deal with this' and it's HONEST ... and if he's a 'good guy' who is 'seriously interested' he may take you into his arms and tell you that you are his 'one and only one' and that he'll give you 'all the time you NEED' to trust him, and he'll be 'totally trustworthy' in his 'faith' to you.
2007-08-06 12:59:08 · answer #5 · answered by Kris L 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget about the past and move on to the present. Don't make the new guy suffer for what someone else did to you. He's not your ex. Never give up a chance to be happy.
It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.
2007-08-06 13:05:12 · answer #6 · answered by Terri 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
omg are u kidding me you have no idea how hard it is to ask someone out and u shot him down cause of some ex get over it not all guys cheat if u want to live in a shell and never date anyone again because one guy cheated on u then whatever
2007-08-06 12:58:57 · answer #7 · answered by pfc_highsmith 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you don't trust someone, it usually means your thinking of them doing something.. Hard to explain so i'll give an example.
I've met a girl over the internet, I know alot baout the internet and that pedos lurk round every corner, so because im constantly trying to see if she is who she says she is, or if shes a pedo, it's hard to trust her right now.
So maybe your thinking that he will do something, or isn't who he is.
Simple way to fix it = Don't think of him in bad ways, I.e sneaking in your house at 2am to steal your watches!
Should help you out.
2007-08-06 12:57:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well what really chills me down about stuff like this is cleaning or relaxing.but just get to know youre guy friend more before trusting him.if thats all it take then give it a try
2007-08-06 12:59:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember that the new guy is a completely different person than your ex that cheated on you.
2007-08-06 12:57:51 · answer #10 · answered by LEMON the good life 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋