What to do when your child is being bullied at school?

Question

I would like to hear from other parents who've had to deal with similar situations. My 7 yr old son was attacked at his school by 3 other boys. He was shaken and very upset about it. What's bothering me is what I should do about it. The school did not contact us at all as we had to find out through our son. I've booked an appointment time to see his teacher. I'm very upset and angry but trying not to let that get in the way of the right thing to do. My son has always been a sensitive and quiet boy. He's a big boy for his age but does not try to fight back. I would like to know what I should/can do. Any advice would be much appreciated.

Thanks in advance,
Heart broken mummy.

Thank you ALL for taking the time to respond - I hope no other parents have to go through this with their children! I will take all the advice on board and deal with it head on! Many thanks again :)

Answer 1

i will not advise fighting back - some bullies actually carry dangerous weapons around. but martial arts is still good because it builds self esteem - which is what is important.
Attacks usually start with teasing, so teach him how to defuse the teasing with responses like, "ok im dumb, so what?" or "why do you enjoy hurting me?" or "thanks for telling me".

Answer 2

I would talk to the principle and the teacher,I would ask as to why you were not notified and in the future you want to know the day it happens. Be nice,but very direct! Take his Dad with you,if this is possible;they usually listen better when Dad is there! Check out books for you and your son about this subject,look on the Internet....and I would teach my son or daughter how to defend themselves! Get him in a class that teaches self defense,it will give him a higher self esteem and others will respect him more! Bullies don't go away unless made to,so nip this in the bud. Do not give up and don't listen to boys will be boys,but do toughen your son up a Little. Also let the school counselor in on this. I hope this helps some!

Answer 3

This is really hard to deal with, because you want your child to be happy and safe. Go into the teacher interview with a positive face. Tell the teacher that are looking for possible reasons that your child was singled out by these boys. It is never right for this to happen, but it happens more and more. Ask her if his mannerisms or clothing make him a target . Does he appear to have friends in the classroom? Is he overweight? Does he play sports?
The school is responsible for keeping your son safe while he is there. Talk to the principal and tell her that you want to know what action was taken to prevent this from ever happening again, and what punishment was given to these boys. Were their parents called in , and held accountable? I would make it clear that I was not happy that my child had not been adequately protected and ask who was supervising the children when the incident occured. Tell them that if any further incidents occur, you are to be notified immediately. We had to have our son removed from his classroom because the teacher was afraid to stop an older child who was tormenting our son. After the move to another room and the very clear message that another episode would not be tolerated, our son had a great year.

Answer 4

I am an extremely over-protective mom of a quiet and shy 9 year old so I would have to calm down before I would do anything drastic. But if this were to happen to my child I would have one and only one meeting because believe me that is all I would need to make myself clear with the teacher and principal. I would insist that they fix the situation or I would get the police involved. My son does not fight back either and I do tell him to tell the teacher first, but if that wouldn't work, my turn!

Answer 5

gurl you go up the food chain and dont be passive, talk the school resource police officer make a appointment with the prinicipal too call the school board and visit the shool.
File assault charges. the other parents should be held accountable for their shool bully problem child.
If people dealt with bullies when they are younger mabye they could save other kids grief or help change a person before they grow and become that.. dont sit back and fiddle around.
Fight for your child the right way.
I have fought this battle too. 3 is kinda hard for even Chuck norris to fight.
Get him some counsel....... Karate would be ideal......
my heart breaks too and my blood is boiling.
I hate bullies
You need to be direct and firm............. ask why you wernt notified and where the heck was the teachers when 3 bullies were tag teaming one kid. that is kind of obvious!

Answer 6

I went through this same thing with my youngest. his went on for an entire year it was so frustrating. The first thing you do, is to speak with the teacher, many times the kids do not say anything out of fear of the bullies. Make sure she is aware of the situation.

If this doesn't stop it from going on then you need to have a meeting with the principle demand that this be stoped imediately. If the boys are in his class room, demand that they be removed from his class don't let them move your child because he has done nothing wrong. it is them who need to be punished.

I went through so much that year, I swear I was in the office at least 3 times a week screaming and yelling.

Before people think I am one of those baby coddlers, I am not my child was truely being bulllied I am talking about getting stabbed in the head with pencils, being put in the urinal, his head was put in the toilet, he was held down in the mud while the kid was standing on his back, the kid would intentionally dump his food in his lap, he was punched daily and choked on the bus. Mike is small for his age he said nothing to me about all of this until about half way through the school year. when he absolutely had a total melt down and refused to go to school. So I do understand that the school does not contact you.

I ended up having to go to the Schools superintendent to get them to remove the child from my sons class room. It was a complete and total war zone I don't know if it was just a lazy teacher or principle don't know, but I am telling you don't mess with any one person to long, because the whole time you are arguing with them or meeting with them your child will be going through he double hockey sticks. The more the boy got talked to or lost 5 minutes of recess, the worse he got. I went as far as meeting with the boy and his parents and informed the child that what he was doing to Michael was illegal and that I could press charges on him but I did not want to. any how, Just make sure you talk to the teacher if that don't work, go to the principle, then if that don't work go to the super. And try to convince your son that he needs to tell every time the boys do anything to him. And let him know that you will not be mad at him if he does defend himself.

Good luck and I truely hope you have this resolved very soon.

Answer 7

I have had that too. You want to get the principal to sit on this too. Let them know that you will not tolerate it and ask what they are going to do to deal with the bully and what help the bullies are going to get so they do not reoffend and what they are going to do to make sure your son feels safe again. They have a duty of care to your child and let them know that you MUST be notified in future when your son is bullied or else next time the board of education will be your first call. I have been through this too (too many times) and i am not putting up with it. Let the principal know you are going to be his new best friend as you will be in his office everyday if this is not solved.

Answer 8

Find out your school district policy on this. Take it to the principle if you feel this was not handled properly. If you get no results there, take it to the school board. You son has the right to be safe at school. Keep talking and standing up for your son until someone listens. Teach your son to go to a teacher or playground aid when these bullies approach him.

Answer 9

Find out your school's policy. Our district has a zero tolerance policy for bullying...they take it very seriously even for elementary school age children. Ask who is responsible for the children on the playground and if the school had knowledge of the incident why you were not contacted.
Also, talk to your son and discuss different methods for dealing with bullies. Role play with him and help him to learn the tools necessary to deal with situations that he may run into.

Answer 10

I would enroll my son in some self-defense classes to boost his confidence & reduce his fear of being defenseless again. I would call the Principal & demand to know why this incident was not reported or handled by them. These kids that are bullying are products of their parents, so if the school doesn't step-up, I would take legal action against the parents & give them & their bad-*** kids a wake-up call. Also, you don't want to be the over-protective mom who embarrasses her kid & makes everyone @ school think hes a wuss for tellin his mom so don't go up there ranting & raving in front of the school. Keep it personal.

Answer 11

My daughters counselor told her to just look at the bully and say I'm sorry you feel you have to be so mean. You must have some very serious issues that make you feel so bad you have to be mean to others! Now if only my daughter would try it! Going to her teacher did me no good at all. Neither did the counselor at school. If it happens this year I'm going to have to go directly to the childs parent.