Ok so here is the deal! My brother who is 26 is dating this chic who is 20! She is a compulsive liar! She lies about EVERYTHING! She lies about being pregnant! They have been together on and off for a year! I swear this chic has been pregnant the whole time! But ether she miscarries or its unexplained! No one really knows! Well just recently she told my brother that 3 weeks ago she was forced to be around a guy who raped her and he raped her again! I have no idea how she was forced don't ask me! Now she tells my brother she is pregnant and she don't know if it is his baby! This is tearing my brother up! He is my half brother! We are best friends when i was married and was being beat he stepped in and helped me leave! Now as his sister i have to speak up only problem is i don't know what i should say! We have gotten into tons of fights because of this chic! It actually has kinda tore us apart a little bit as brother and sister! More details below!
2007-08-06 11:07:33 · 21 answers · asked by Mom of three beautiful kids. 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
The thing is my brother i think is scared to be alone! He isnt exactly the cream of the crop to most ladies when it comes to looks! Which is really kinda crappy! So i think he stays with her because he thinks he cant get anyone else! Also one other thing that bothers me! She swears she has pcos! But yet she has been pregnant more then any woman i know who has that! Also she says she is 3 weeks pregnant so really she would be 1 week if you get technical! Can you really even find out at 3 weeks? WHAT DO I DO? Any ideas would be GREAT! I can not let this sciopath do this to my brother anymore!
2007-08-06 11:10:07 · update #1
Problem is anytime i have ever brought this up to my brother he obviously says something to her and she gives him the sap story then he is mad at me! Some days i just want to tell them both to go away cause i am so sick of everyday for her something bad happens! But he is my brother and i love him! They want to get married! AHHHH !!!!
2007-08-06 11:13:14 · update #2
Polly cystic ovarian syndrome!
2007-08-06 11:14:03 · update #3
Yes this is my brothers problem you are right! But family is family and you have to be there for them!
2007-08-06 11:16:36 · update #4
Sorry my question is how would you handle it what would you do?
2007-08-06 11:23:49 · update #5
Dear Whenin ...
You're right it is a serious question, a difficult one to advise on and, I suspect, you may not like my advice, cause I sure as heck don't like writing it!!
It may be that your brother and this person remain together for ever .... as uncomfortable as that must seem ... you must face up to the fact that you may be talking about your future sister-in-law and the mother of your neices and nephews.
I'm wincing as I write this Whenin but .... I have seen families broken by siblings and/or parents who would not accept the chosen partners of their close relations.
You don't want that to happen I know. He is worth more to you than the cost of having to put up with her.
She is a drama queen and probably has a mental condition. No doubt she is at least very insecure. The good news is, if he decides to stay with her, it may improve over time as she grows up and relaxes a little. Unfortunately, copping neg vibes from you won't help that process either.
In relation to him saving you - you wanted out - thankfully (shows you have sense) but ... does he want out?? She may well be giving him something you don't see (could be in bed - eh??).
Already your telling him what you think has got between you - I think he knows what your opinion is - don't you?
What can you do ...
support him let him know you're there for him
let him know you validate any decision he makes in regard to her
apologise for interfering in his life unasked but you were trying to do what you thought was best for him because of your love and RESPECT for him.
that's it mate
Good Luck
I hope he comes to his senses (I'd advise him to cut it NOW)
Joe
2007-08-06 11:35:11 · answer #1 · answered by Joe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Make a list of all the lies she has told that you know of. Write a note to him about she is messing up y'all's relationship. Explain why she is a bad influence and that you think he should pick someone who will not lie/cause problems in the family.
All you can really do is state how you feel very clearly and then let him decide. Let him know you are there for him no matter what. He'll eventually see how she is and leave. But in the meantime, nagging him about it will only make him madder. Right now he is seeing her as the girl he wants her to be and not who she truly is.
I can only imagine how frustrating that would be. Good luck!
2007-08-06 11:12:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell your spouse the reality, and get a brand new prescription. If you went five years with out an episode, you could now not want that robust of a prescription... however you continue to want one to maintain you steady. It could also be that you've been erratic and also you simply did not realize it, however this could were the "final straw" in your spouse... peculiarly if you happen to did not inform her you had a trouble and she or he has been finding out the rough means. You will have to were instantly together with her from the starting... optimistically she's going to take you again. I desire it isn't too overdue for the 2 of you. Main factor is inform her the whole thing, and ask her to forgive you... although she does not come again to you. Don't push her regardless that... ensure she will see a difference... she would possibly come again on her possess, or she would possibly attempt to aid you from a distance. If she's now not too shallow, and you have not already "worn her out," she'll on the whole nonetheless be there for you.
2016-09-05 09:28:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Buy a pregnancy test and tell her to take it in front of your brother. If she really is pregnant she won't refuse.If she is lieing, there is no way she can get out of it. Secondly have a heart to heart w your brother.Tell him you understand the vulnerability of love.And that you have been thru an abusive relationship and remind him how it felt for him to watch you suffer in an abusive relationship. Tell him how it feels watching him go thru the same thing. Be supportive of him and be there when he needs you emotionally. Do not attack his girlfriend in front of him,since this will make him protective of her.Don't shout or yell, but instead let your heart do the talking and he will hear you. Good Luck
2007-08-06 11:29:34 · answer #4 · answered by starriiss78 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sadly it does not sound like he is going to take your advice on anything. This relationship that he has will probably end up falling apart when he catches her in bed with another man. At this point all you can do is be the 1st on the scene when the "S" hits the fan. Just be there for him when he realizes the mistake he made. he will really need someone then. Sorry wish I could be of more help. hope everything works out though
2007-08-06 11:21:59 · answer #5 · answered by Lorena 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think at the end of the day you have to be honest and present your brother with the facts you need him to know that you love and care about him and thats why you have decided to come forward and that you want him to listen to you first and explain what is happening but i would tell you that love is sometimes blind which means that loves blinds the actual truth sometimes and stops people believing in what is actually happening right in front of them. If he blows up at you walk away knowing that you told him and that sometimes people need to be told the truth even if they dont like hearing it. I will granteee you that if as you say you are very close i am sure he will actually at some point think what you and everybody else is saying to him and may come to his own conclusion but most people have to make mistakes before they realise what they have allowed to happen or have been blind in seeing
2007-08-06 11:16:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Sounds like he may have some self-esteem issues?? Why would he want to stay with someone so manipulative? Is he afraid she is pregnant and wants to be a stand up kinda guy? Just be honest with him. Tell him how fabulous he is and tell him what kind of woman he deserves to be with. Sometimes they just need to hear it from someone they love, that they can do better.
Stay strong, don't give up on him!
2007-08-06 11:12:47 · answer #7 · answered by disneyjessi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sit your brother down and talk to him. Let him know that you care alot about him and don't want to see him hurt. Try to let him know this w/o getting upset about what that girl says to him. Attempt also to have him get a DNA testing done when and if the baby comes. If he really wants to stay with this woman that is his choice - you need to be supportive but always remain on his side no matter what.
2007-08-06 11:14:37 · answer #8 · answered by Niko 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is good that he helped you in your time of need. That was the right thing to do. You were being physically abused and he helped. This is a little different. You are poking your nose in his business and in your own words, it has kinda tore you guys apart. The more you keep doing that, the farther apart you guys will get. He needs to deal with this on his own and hopefully you will be there at the end. That is when it is going to count. Good Luck!
2007-08-06 11:17:17 · answer #9 · answered by cuddleyleo2003 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Next time you catch her in a lie, confront her with your brother there. I mean in a nice way so he cant get mad at you. Keep an eye on the facts. If this guy raped her, for example, ask her why she didn't charge him, why is he still out of prison? If she says she is pregnant, offer to go baby clothes shopping with her, using her money of course. As for being pregnant and not knowing if the baby is your brothers, sounds to me like its a cover up, with her history of lying. Unfortunately, your brother is the one who will have to eventually get his head out of his butt and see this woman for what she is. I pray he doesn't get too hurt in the process. I wish you and your brother all the best
2007-08-06 11:13:53 · answer #10 · answered by susie2962 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋