How do you politely kick someone out?

Question

I know that sounds like a rude question, but let me explain. I have a 22 year old nephew. My sister and brother in law has kicked him out their house. After a huge arguement with my sister on why she would do such a thing, I went and picked up my nephew from the homeless shelter. He had ratty clothes on and looked just awful so I brought him home with me and gave him the spare room in the basement. We were under an agreement that he would find a job and pay his own expenses and buy his own food. Well after 2 months he has not found a job, he lays around all the time, goes out and parties every weekend, eats all our food and the basement is trashed. Now I have money and pain killers coming up missing!!!!! HELP ME

I want to thank everyone for the answers. I should have been more specific on the argument with my sister though. She has always had a tendency to treat him like dirt and I am not being arrogant just too sympathetic. He denied having anything to do with the pain killers missing. How do you prove it? From now on I have it hidden. His excuse with the job situation is that he has no drivers licence, and he parties all the time to keep from getting lonely. He is now getting state assistance with food and has been buying all my groceries. And last week when I went in the basement to do laundry it was spotless!!

Answer 1

you need to sit down with him and put a scare in him...
here are some things you could say
(his name)u sure have been partying alot lately eh¿, how you getting the money for your booze if you dont have a job..(im sure he will say friends or something)..then tell him maybe he should get a job because your sure his friends dont want to support his drinking and if he has drug habbits then his drugs and you cant afford to be feeding him... tell him that he has the rest of the week to do as he wants but on monday you are going to have him up bright and early working on resumes..then you are going with him to drop them off so you knwo they get dropped off...tell him he has a month to get a job, or the food is being locked up and he wont have access to it... then go on by mentioning the pain killers tell him u ahve noticed them missing explain to him that you need them and if things continue to go missing you will ontify the policee... tlel him straight out he is 22 years old.. he shouldnt be livin off his family, but your being nice enough to help him out and u feel as though your beign taken advantage off tell him yiour there to help and you want to see him do better with his life.. if he needs help all he has to do is ask.. this is his last warning he has a month to put forth an effort to find a job if he doesnt have one he is gunna b back where he started n u wnt help him out no more...
in cases like this u need to be understanding,caring,blunt n show him who the boss is..also tell him he has 48 hours to fix up the basement and if EVER it gets like that again you will charge him with vandilism...
REMEMBER BE STRONG STICK TO YOUR GROUNDS AND SHOW HIM WHOS THE BOSS...
good luck hope i helped.

Answer 2

FIRST thing you should do is call your sister and tell her you were sorry. now that you have dealt with it you realize why she had to kick him out. keep this memory in the storage of your mind as proof that until you walk in anothers shoes you cannot judge their actions. SECOND. you need to pull that lazy bum into the living room sit him down on the couch and tell him how much of a loser he is. how he has not gotten a job, parties all the time, and eats all your food and how you are sick and tired of it. THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR POLITENESS. tell him that he needs to get his lazy a** out of the house and find a job. if he doesnt have one in 2 weeks hes out. Also tell him that there is money missing and pain killers missing and you are not going to deal with that in YOUR HOUSE!!!!. if you let him get away with it he is going to continue to do it. AND ABOVE ALL THINGS IF HE DOES NOT HAVE A JOB IN 2 WEEKS STICK TO YOUR THREAT AND KICK HIM OUT!! He is using you just like he uses everyone else around him to get what he wants and needs without having to do anything for it. I am sorry if I have sounded harsh during this answer but I am a 21 yr old and I find the thought of a jobless 22 yr old who lives with his aunt cause he has already stolen to the point of being kicked out of his parents to be disgusting. Kids like this are the reason that the older generations are so terrified for the world. because its people like this that will be out in the world leaching off of everyone else.

Answer 3

Now you know why your sister and brother in law kicked him out. Next time you think you know better than the parents who raised him, I suggest you go down to the spare room in the basement and take a look at the product of your arrogance. Unless you throw him out. I would call the police if you need to, you can't save him, he's a drug user. Then call your sister and apologize.

Answer 4

Tell him that he has a certain amount of time (like 2 weeks) to find a job and clean up the basement or else he has to find another place to live, you dont have to be rude about it, you can tell him in a nice manner. Explain to him that your not accusing him, but you have had money and pain killers missing, and ask if he knows who took the stuff.

Answer 5

And now you know why your sister and brother in law kicked him out. Next time, no taking sides. What you do is take him to that homeless shelter you picked him up from, and tell him you did him a grave disservice by not letting him fend for himself. And if he doesn't willingly get out of the car, use your foot to push him out.

Answer 6

It's time to think about your own needs.
If you're really having a hard time and feeling guilty about it, you could remind him of your conversation and let him know that if he hasn't moved out by X date, you will have to ask him to leave. And I wouldn't make it a long ways away either, because he's already had a ton of time.
At least this way, you can avoid any guilt feelings (which you should not feel) and can kick him out with a clear mind.

Answer 7

Give him a written eviction notice(and have a copy for yourself) stating the date he has to get out (most of the time it is 30 days). and the consequences of what will happen if he doesn't (i.e his things will be put outside, you will call the police etc.). You have been nice to him so he need to respect you or get out.

Answer 8

Hon, no such beast as politely kick someone out, especially someone like him who appears to have some problems with addiction. Send him on his way. Your sister knew what she was doing.

Answer 9

keep important stuff locked up.tell him he has 2 weeks to get a job,any job or hes gone.then set a curfew for him and if he doesnt follow it tell him its time to move on.

Answer 10

Put his clothes on the sidewalk, change the locks on all the doors, and tell him he is on his own............ enough said.