A year ago I moved from the states to the Caribbean, because my boyfriend begg me to do so, because he wanted?

Question

to get married immidiately. After his mother died, he wanted me to be there for him, and for some reason, he thought i was gonna leave him. After I come he start saying that he is VERY scared, so gave some time, because he never really had a serious girlfriend before me, and now he wants to get married. That may be a little scarry. Now a year after, he is still not really talking about the wedding anymore, and keep saying he scared still. I am tired of giving "Some time" after all this time. Should I just leave him and get someone else, because this sitiuation hurt me a lot.

P.S.: we are together for 3 years now. Never benn in any arguments or misunderstanding before this. He is very respectful.

PLEASE no stupid answer.

Even if I have a job he give me money to do my hair, or to send to my parents and stuff. But I still think that he lied to me, and I can't deal with. Yes, I do believe in marriage, because that's what my parents taught me growing up. The've been married for 27 years now.

Answer 1

You need to sit him down and let him talk about everything...Let him tell you why he is afraid and then you two can deal with those problems...
Some people are afraid of commitment and use other things as an excuse...Now you moved there because he wanted to marry you...
You left your home, moved there and you were with him when his mom pasted and your still there...
I don't understand what more he wants from you...
Now you have to figure out after you talk if you are willing to give up more time waiting...
Things seem great in your relationship, can you except just being the gf, or is marriage what you need...You will need to find this answer inside you...

Answer 2

Well if you get along with him and the only thing that your missing is a paper saying your married your off to a good start. Sounds like hes good to you why would you give that up? If marriage is very important to you then let him know.Give him a time limit . But as I just said that I feel like if hes good to you and treats you well a piece of paper that some other guy would give you may not be worth the quality of care you are receiving now. I think your pretty lucky that you've found someone to care for you and treat you well. I'd would think twice before I'd let him go.

Answer 3

I have to tell you that I believe in honesty so i think you should tell him just how you feel! And if that is too difficult print the letter off that you just wrote so he can read it! He needs to know how you feel. Maybe you 2 just need a break for now? But I would NOT do anything rashional
as you have just made some good statements about how you 2 do get along and never argue! And you have dated for 3 years that is a long time and even if not that long I still believe in honestly unless he has done something terrible to you but he has not. So chin up and go talk to him! I think he will understand more than you realize!!

Good luck

Answer 4

thats a hard question. well if you love him and just think do you want to spend your life with him and if its yes go for it stay with him a when your with him just ask him again about the wedding and talk about were you want it when and things like that if you dont know then for like the next weeks or so look at him carefully how does he act when other things are done diffrently and no then well you gave him that time and he didnt step up to the plate and so he gonna lose you.
and if you want to get married and think your ready then just tell him im tired of waiting and go find a new guy that isnt as scared and you think you could be with the rest of your life .
i hoped this worked for you and if not sorry. really you have to think of it. whatever you do you know that you made the right decisions

Answer 5

I'm glad that your boyfriend is respectful but what's he scared of after three years? You moved from home to be with him. He asked you to marry him and now doesn't mention it? Please ask him once more what is holding up your plans together. Make sure you get a complete and finalized answer. You'll know what to do. By the way, couples do argue, even gently. Be careful of a relationship that isn't realistic about issues. Marriage is more than getting along its about moving along, together.

Answer 6

I think you need to talk to him, and set a timeline, either with him, or in your own head.

If he's not willing to commit to you and marry you after another year – that will be 4 years together – then you should leave. I think it’s fair, and hopefully it will spark a conversation between the two of you. Perhaps he’s still scared, or perhaps he feels that he needs to make more money before he can be married, or something like that.

Good luck to you!

Answer 7

Hey sister, he loves you.That is evident. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years too and want to get married.He's not ready though, I think he is also nervous but all I know is that we get along so well and we love each othe rso much it hurts!!!! So I will say just hang in there. If you two love each other this much it will happen. Just hold onto him because they really aren't too many good men out there.And it sounds like you have a good one.

Answer 8

I think a serious heart to heart is in order. Cold feet is normal, but 3 years? Seriously, both of you, together, need to evaluate where the relationship stands. It sounds like y'all are on two totally different pages.

Answer 9

LEAVING IT BLANK WOULD BE A STUPID ANSWER
IT SEEMS LIKE YOU HAVE BEEN GETTING STUPID ANSWERS FOR THE LAST 3 YEARS OF YOUR LIFE, SO ITS UNDERSTANDABLE.

DO YOU BENEFIT BEING THEIR WITH HIM?
WILL YOU BE ABLE TO COME BACK TO THE US?
WHY ARE YOU JUST NOTICING THIS PROBLEM?
DO YOU THINK IF YOU TALK TO HIM THAT YOU WOULD GET THE SAME 2 LINER?

Answer 10

After this much time, I would tell him that he has three months to make it happen, or you're moving back to the states. And then start whatever it is you need to do to make the move.