The only friction in their marriage was her husband's habit of f*rting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor, she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
Then one thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the innards and neck, giz! zards, liver and all.
The spare parts and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling the bed covers back, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
2007-08-06 10:17:36 · 25 answers · asked by ? 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bath room. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes!
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his dirty underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.
He said, "honey you were right. All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you".
"what do you mean?" asked his wife.
"well, you always told me that one day I would end up f*rting my guts out, and today it finally happened.
But by the grace of god ,and some Vaseline I think I got most of them back in."
2007-08-06 10:19:32 · update #1
Oh dear, I'm laughing more at all of you than the joke!!! lol
must have been worth the long read then! and that was with some of the finer details missing!!!! x
2007-08-06 10:32:06 · update #2
gldsinc. Haven't you learnt by now that you shouldn't read my jokes with a mouth full ? lol x
Iritadragon. I can hear your daughter, gee that sure is a loud laugh! x
2007-08-06 10:46:24 · update #3
jesus suffering christ sylvia,,,
2007-08-06 10:23:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
I was sure with my first love that it would last forever, we were engaged and I was ready to marry him. I'm someone who only wants to be married once in life, so hopefully that shows how seriously I believed he was "The One". It didn't work out in the end, happy as **** we didn't get married, I'm grateful I'm not divorced. Nothing wrong with it, I'd rather be divorced than married to the wrong man, but definitely prefer he be the right one and be married once having it last a lifetime. Been 5 years now and we're both sure, but we've both been sure before and had it not work so we're still waiting for marriage. We both feel the same about it, and hope to never be divorced, so we're living as a married couple just haven't taken the vows. So far so good. We're thinking in the next year we'll probably get engaged and then married within a couple/few years...we'll see how it goes. I believe in the end we'll be 100% sure, or we won't and then we're likely to just go our separate ways because we do think we'll *know* for sure. Right now fear's in there so we're both having a few doubts. My parents have been married almost 30 years, they say they just knew after dating a short while. They were married within a few months and look where it's taken them. So, by that I'd guess people are sure when it's right. No harm in waiting though =o)
2016-05-20 00:00:41 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I heard a similar joke but it was about 3 hunters. Check out "The Hunting Joke" on Yahoo answers for the joke because it is too long to put here. I do love your joke, though!
2007-08-06 11:58:31 · answer #3 · answered by Sybel H 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hahaha
hehehe
great one!!!!!
star for you.....
like this one?
Elephant Time
A young man is wandering around the zoo looking at the animals. He suddenly remembers about an appointment that he scheduled. Unfortunately, he forgot his watch. He searchs for someone who could give him the time.
He sees a zoo keeper standing next to an elephant. "Excuse me, sir," says the young man "Do you know what time it is?"
The zoo keeper reaches under the elephant, grabs his balls and starts playing with them.
"Mmmmm, it is about 3:00," the zoo keeper responds.
The young man looks at him in awe, "How did you know that?" The zoo keeper looks back at the man, "I looked at the clock on the wall right behind you."
2007-08-07 06:24:51 · answer #4 · answered by J. S. 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hilarious!
2007-08-06 10:31:59 · answer #5 · answered by the answerer 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am more of a silent laugher...one of those people who laugh so hard they choke on it. My oldest daughter however, could run neck and neck with the loudest braying mule when she laughs.
My ears are still ringing.....
Thanks honey. A star for a very good one!
2007-08-06 10:40:00 · answer #6 · answered by Susie Q 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hahahahahahahahaha! That sounds like hubby and me! Great joke-have a star!
2007-08-06 11:02:22 · answer #7 · answered by xenonvalkyrie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thats really funny...it's making my eyes water thinking about the punchline tho!!
2007-08-06 10:30:21 · answer #8 · answered by steph c 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I WAS eating when I read this... I don't know if I stopped because I was laughing so hard or if I'm trying to pretend I'm disgusted.
2007-08-06 10:25:51 · answer #9 · answered by gldnsilnc 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
That's disgusting, but hilarious! 10/10! It made me laugh so hard that I farted!
2007-08-06 10:44:50 · answer #10 · answered by Dominic 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
FANTASTIC!! The joke was hilarious even without the punchline!!!!
2007-08-06 10:23:07 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋