I've been going out for 7 months with this guy I know at the company I work for. We both are rather old fashioned. He's 43 and I'm 35. Nothing romantic has happened yet, no hand holding, hugs or kisses! At work, we walk together every day for half an hour. On some weekends, we go out. He treats me to movies and dinners but seems he's sloooow!! He checks out my boobs but never makes a move!! We get along well, have an intellectual connection and lots of common interest. I want him to look at me as his girlfriend. He hasn't had a girlfriend in over 4 years. He's shy and is Catholic A COMPLETE LATE-BLOOMER, if you know what I mean. I don't want him to think I just want sex. But I like to have a tender romantic relationship with him and not just be his movie pal. How do I do that properly? He never calls me on a weekend to do something spontaneous, it bugs me...want him as a boyfriend. HELP. Read more below.
2007-08-06 08:49:37 · 8 answers · asked by supergirl 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
This past Sunday I dressed up really sexy for the first time. Any other guy would have at least tried to prolong the date or at least touch me once, instead of just looking me up and down, but he didn't. He just dropped me off and went home!!!!!! What's up with that???
We don't work together. We work in different divisions of the company. There are many couples in our company who dated and got married here. As long as I don't report to him, which I don't; it's fine.
One more thing, I can't just talk to him straight. Neither one of us is up for straight-out-of- the-box communication. He likes finess and so do I.
He isn't gay, he's had a girlfriend before but he was dumped after two months and he hasn't been dating in the past 4 years. Help!! I hope he isn't double-timing me with some other woman, is he??
2007-08-06 08:50:36 · update #1
I know this will sound hard and believe me I know how it feels because I forced myself to do it once. I was friends with someone who was really shy and I really liked him. After months of getting nowhere I decided it was time I 'got some balls' and tell him how I felt. Telling myself that was the easy part. Standing there in front of him, knowing what I was about to say was killing me. First I told him that I didn't want what I said to affect our friendship because he meant a lot to me and I wanted him in my life. Then I told him that I had feelings for him and I had them for a long time. That should be enough for him to start talking but If he does like you and is very shy, it's possible that he still wont make a move so make sure you do this when you are about to part. If he tells you he likes you too, take his hand and tell him that he doesn't know how happy that makes you. Presuming he is dropping you off, ask him to text or email you when he gets home. Because he is shy, he will find it a lot easier to express himself when he can communicate without being in front of you or talking over the phone. I really hope this helps because it worked for me and I'd love to hear that you two are together.
If you absolutly cannot say it to his face, email him. It is the best shot you have if you can't do it face to face.
If you think he may not be attracted to you and the friendship is important you may not want to do anything but if you don't you might always be wondering what could have happened if you had just given it a shot.
He might like you and be in the same situation as you so if you make your move, he could do the same.
2007-08-11 02:13:54 · answer #1 · answered by amandasjg 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Or he's too shy!! or he's traumatized!!! for God's sake! or what..? I agree with you.
You know what? try to make him a little jealous, not to the point where he thinks he has no hope for you and dissapear!!!!!, no,no,no.
At work, when he comes to your office to pick you up for lunch.......he doesn't? well he has to!, because you're going to send "yourself" flowers, and he needs to see this ON your desk,, if he asks tell him that somebody sent you flowers...aren't they pretty? OK, let's go for a walk....leave it there...(he'll be brain storming, he-he-he)
And at home....do the same, send yourself flowers, AND better, if they can deliver the flowerswhen he is there, BETTER! so he can see this, hopefully he'll start thinking about competition and finally decides to be or not to be, you shoul see a reaction soon....
On the card, just in case.....he won't read it because you won't show it to him, simply write: :to the most beautiful woman / thinking of you....hope you have a great day! and just put some initals.....that's it. (IF by accident he reads the card he'll turn green, he-he,he)
NOW if he still don't have any reaction on this.................ay caramba!!!!
Play you r last card.....you take the initiative, don't have more choices, flirt,don't grab his hand but his arm when walking "sometimes only", when sitting,try to touch his leg, you know, fix his tie, etc etc, a little more touching...........
No reaction yet?
Start having excuses for not to go out as much until you stop all "going outs", change your routine a little without him.....My God! if still....NOTHING............... friend, cut him, have him as a friend, and start looking for your Prince.
Think about this, you don't want a man with no balls and reactions or probably he doesn't love you as a woman but as his friend only.
The best of luck to you!!!
I forgot to tell you!! don't tell him about the flowers trick until you are married to him!!! ha-ha-ha-ha. Good luck!
2007-08-12 05:31:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think he is nervous! Let him know you are interested in pursuing a more intimate relationship with him, without being too strong about it. If he shows no affection after that I would move on. Maybe the whole "working together" thing is too uncomfortable.
2007-08-06 08:57:21 · answer #3 · answered by memememe 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would start with you reaching for his hand and holding it there is nothing wrong with that and at the end of the date give him a kiss on the cheek for starter.Go to Hallmark and get a card that expresses that you want to be more than Just friends.Good Luck
2007-08-06 08:56:48 · answer #4 · answered by Dew 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It may be religion or sexual problems, something is holding him back. If you can talk to his old girl friend she dumped him find out why.
I would dump him if he hasn't hit on you in 7 months unless you want to wait until marriage then find out what is wrong.
2007-08-06 09:05:13 · answer #5 · answered by shipwreck 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i tell you what, touch his hand slowly and look into his eyes tell him that you think its time to take things a step foward. Then just smack a kiss right near his lips, try and turn him on. Give him a sexy look or something
2007-08-06 09:00:35 · answer #6 · answered by Roxy 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
hi sweet friend i hop that you rememberd me .
what ever about your question iam a man as you knew ..
you have let him begin ..are you know how?.. show him your shame ..then pretend that you are a fried of him also pretend that you are afried about what he is going to do .. then let him to take an action..
2007-08-07 05:58:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think either he was gonba ask her out, or ask a stupid embarrassing question.
2016-05-19 23:21:55 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋