I've been going out for 7 months with this guy I know at the company I work for. We both are rather old fashioned. He's 43 and I'm 35. Nothing romantic has happened yet, no hand holding, hugs or kisses! At work, we walk together every day for half an hour. On some weekends, we go out. He treats me to movies and dinners but seems he's sloooow!! He checks out my boobs but never makes a move!! We get along well, have an intellectual connection and lots of common interest. I want him to look at me as his girlfriend. He hasn't had a girlfriend in over 4 years. He's shy and is Catholic A COMPLETE LATE-BLOOMER, if you know what I mean. What is going through his mind?
I don't want him to think I just want sex. But I like to have a tender romantic relationship with him and not just be his movie pal. How do I do that properly? He never calls me on a weekend to do something spontaneous, it bugs me...want him as a boyfriend. HELP. Read more below
2007-08-06 08:44:16 · 15 answers · asked by supergirl 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
We don't work together. We work in different divisions of the company. There are many couples in our company who dated and got married here. As long as I don't report to him, which I don't; it's fine.
One more thing, I can't just talk to him straight. Neither one of us is up for straight-out-of- the-box communication. He likes finess and so do I.
This past Sunday I dressed up really sexy for the first time. Any other guy would have at least tried to prolong the date or at least touch me once, instead of just looking me up and down, but he didn't. He just dropped me off and went home!!!!!! What's up with that???
He isn't gay, he's had a girlfriend before but he was dumped after two months and he hasn't been dating in the past 4 years. Help!! I hope he isn't double-timing me with some other woman, is he??
2007-08-06 08:45:04 · update #1
he is taking it slow and does not want to get hurt. hes doing this right and acting right. i mean hes not womanizer and you should be glad of this. he wants to know you and that is how it should be friends frist and then it will come later if you wait. if you rock the boat he'll leave cause i am sure he wont' want another one of those disasters of losing someone. so be patience with him and enjoy it now and it will come fast enough.
2007-08-13 16:15:01 · answer #1 · answered by Tsunami 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's been 7mths?!, I think finese went out the window a long time ago..come on now..it's plain as day, this guy can't get the hint..or if he does, he's sure lacking the confidence. May I suggest, make the first move!!
Invite him over to your house for dinner, make small talk..perhaps start off telling him how good he makes you feel, and that you can't believe it's been 7 mths already..your so glad you met him..do you see where i'm goin with this??! Build up his confidence, perhaps by being open with him, it will take the pressure off of him to make the first move--after all it's been 4 yrs!! He's obviously in his comfort place!! Good Luck to you both!
2007-08-13 18:50:31 · answer #2 · answered by strawberrywine 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure if he was two-timing you, he would try to get sex out of you as often as possible. Guys who cheat often see women more as sex objects than people. Otherwise, why wouldn't he break it off with one before dating another?
Have you tried making a move? Reaching for his hand in the movie theater, or leaning in for a kiss goodnight? Have you asked him why he's taking it slow? He may think that you want to move slow and is respecting that. He's not a mind reader, you have to let him know what you're thinking. Ask him if he finds you attractive and if he wants to be more than "movie buddies", and not just for the sex.
He seems like a decent, sweet, respectful guy. I'm sure if you bring it up in a calm, mature, sensitive fashion, he'll respond positively to it.
Hope that helps! Good luck!
2007-08-06 08:52:09 · answer #3 · answered by Diet Peach 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's not confident. If you really want to know what he is about, make the first move and check out his reaction. Why do the guys have to make the first move all the time? He may be waiting for a definite sign from you. You may be giving mixed signals and don't realize it or he could be a complete loser, and that's why he's been single for the past four years. Maybe he doesn't want anything from you but to look at your boobs so he can go home and rub one out! Think about these things seriously. But, make a move first like I said and check how he handles it.
2007-08-06 08:57:06 · answer #4 · answered by Califiyah 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
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2016-09-05 09:16:52 · answer #5 · answered by twyla 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have been going out 7 months and he hasn't made any kind of move that is really strange however if you want a relationship with him open communication is vital.
If he is that shy and afraid to make a move talk with him and tell him how you feel or make the first move yourself.
2007-08-06 08:56:41 · answer #6 · answered by Intelfem7 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have a variety of scenarios to choose from the answers. Of course you will draw your own conclusions because you're the one in the situation. It depends on how much time you want to invest in this endeavor. You can wait or follow the advise of the answer team. I personally would have made the first move by now just because I don't like to invest time in a dead end venture. Do what your heart tells you to.
2007-08-13 21:30:59 · answer #7 · answered by cjs23navy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow that is one long question. has it ever occurred to you, now brace yourself for this, maybe he does not like you in that way? i could re-write that whole story myself just exchanging the two roles. sometimes people are friends who enjoy each others company and that is it, i know it sometimes sucks, but unfortunately it happens. just curious, have you ever told him how you feel? no matter what you may think, guys do not read minds, not matter how obvious you can be, some guys just do not get the hint! oh well hope this helps, and good luck to you.oh by the way, all guys check out womens boob's, sorry fact of life.
2007-08-06 08:59:58 · answer #8 · answered by tom S 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You said the neither one of you are straight forward people. But I think that you are going to have to be straight forward if you want to know how he is feeling. You are going to have to talk to him and find out what he thinks of you and where the relationship is going. Tell him how you feel about being intimate and ask what his thoughts are about it. That way you know what is going on and won't be wasting your time. I know that it is easier said than done, but it is the only way to find out. Just call him up and invite him over for coffee so you can have a comfortable, quiet environment to be able to openly talk in.
2007-08-06 08:53:39 · answer #9 · answered by LaTrice B 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
wow thats interesting um wow this sounds like some high school kid stuff yall sure yall are 43 and 35. by now yall should be abil to tell each other how yall feel cuz thats high schoolish big time
2007-08-06 08:50:23 · answer #10 · answered by minnie 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋