Can the MOB be the MOH?

Question

I'm not engaged, but my mama and I got on the topic of weddings the other day and I figured I'd ask this and see what y'all thought about it.
My mama is pretty much my best friend and when we got to talking about weddings she said something about her being my MOH. I told her I would absolutely LOVE it if she could, but her duties as the MOB would be plenty without adding those of the MOH. She said "oh, yeah" and we went on talking about our topic. However, afterwards, i began thinking more about it. What would you think if the MOB was also the MOH? I'm very traditional so I'm a little if-y on that thought, but I don't think it would be THAT bad of an idea.
Your thoughts?

Actually, maigen, I don't have very many close friends. But, I do have plenty of close family who I plan on having as bridesmaids. The point I was trying to make is that I consider my mother my best friend and was wondering if it would be in poor taste to have her as the MOH.

Also (this is in general), I know it would be "my day" and I can plan it however I want. I was just asking other's thoughts.

Answer 1

I think it's a great honor that you want your mom to be your mother to be your maid of honor, but I think it would be best to honor her as that ... you could include something special in the ceremony to honor both your mom & his and have roses presented to them.
We had my brother & his brother read a poem and we presented each with a rose during our ceremony as our way of saying thank you.
Good luck and happy planning!!

Answer 2

The reality is this: The purpose of the MOH is to serve as witness to the marriage. Having your mother be your witness would be lovely. The MOH, not being the host of the event, really doesn't have any duties except to sign the marriage certificate. Although, recently, it seems a lot of spoiled brides have decided to dump a huge list of duties on the MOH. You don't sound like that kind of person, so I don't think it would be any more burden on your mother as MOB. One other thing to consider... is your dad in the picture? If so, how would he feel sitting in his seat, while your mother stands up with you through the ceremony?

The bottom line is this: When the time comes, do what you feel is right.

Answer 3

There is no RULE against it, but in my opinion, the MOB should not be "working" during the wedding, but enjoying the event, totally focussed on her daughter and new son-in-law. Meanwhile, I have always accepted the MOH role as one being the primary person responsible for making sure the bride has an absolutely perfect day. When I was MOH, I made sure the dress and veil were perfect, the flowers were tended to, the schedule for hair and nails was kept, the guys all stayed sober, any family rifts were neatly kept hidden from the bride so she could just be HAPPY, etc. It's a lot of work, if you do it right, and I just couldn't ask my mom to do that for me.

Answer 4

There are some areas where it's not only accepted but quite common for the father of the groom to be the best man, so I see no reason why a mother of the bride couldn't be matron of honor.

During the ceremony, the mother of the bride has no specific duties, and during the reception the matron/maid of honor has few - if any - specific duties, so I see no problem there. Honor attendants and parents both typically stand in the receiving line, so this would result in a shorter line for people to go through.

In fact, I can't think of one thing either does that would preclude someone performing both roles other than the fact that etiquette says the bride's family shouldn't organize a wedding shower for her...and even with that there are some areas of the country where if a mother didnt' throw a wedding shower for her daughter it would be a bit of a social scandal.

If you like the idea and your mother is comfortable with it, then I say I think it's a lovely idea.

Answer 5

Yes, absolutely I think that would be great. I’m not sure what all the duties for both the MOB & MOH are. But I would think if your mom is up to it let her go at it. Beside in the end it’s your wedding and you can do as you want.

Answer 6

Its totally fine if you want her to do that for you, but I think the MOB role is so important, much more than a MOH (who is a glorified maid of sorts), the MOB is specially seated, hosts the party, is kind of the queen bee for the day. I know my mother would never have wanted that moment taken away from her and neither would I. I loved the special treatment she got that day.

Answer 7

Why not? My husband's 2 grown up daughters from his first marriage did all the duties usually associated with the best man when we got married. They both stood up next to him in the church wearing trouser suits in a similar colour to that worn by my bridesmaid. The older of the two signed the register and looked after the rings and her younger sister made a speech at the reception. It was lovely.

Answer 8

A lot of brides choose their mother to be their MoH to include them in the wedding. Other brides (Jewish or not) ask their mother to also walk them down the aisle, in addition to their father. I think it is a great idea having your mom as your MoH.

Answer 9

NO!!!! You can't do that, you'll destroy the space/time continuum and we'll all be doomed...DOOMED I TELL YOU!!!


JOKE....anyone can be your MOH, there are no rules regarding this sort of thing so plan your wedding the way you want it to be, and don't worry about what other people think, they'll all get to have their dream day so why shouldn't you?

Answer 10

I have seen a lot of guys on the wedding shows have their dads be the best man. So I see no reason why your mom can not be the Maid/matron of honor.