mother problem?

Question

ok my mother is starting to say that i'm not raising my daughter correctly and is trying to tell me to raise her differntly. she's saying that i shouldn't let her act in plays that are NOT associated with school and is also saying that i shouldn't let her dress in a 2 piece because it shows to much. and she's also saying that i should let her watch shows like drake and josh because drake is always hitting on girls which she finds inappropriate and that she also shouldn't be watching the show called "naruto" i mean it's also not my favorite show but i don't find it as inappropriate as robot chicken or family guy. and she's also saying i'm doing alot of other things wrong and it's because that i don't live with her anymore. what should i do??

also my daughter is 10 years old.

ok yes i do go with her to play practice.
but what's wrong with the 2 piece. please if your gonna give those kind of answers don't just say yes she is right give me more explaination about why.

Answer 1

Tell your mother that while you appreciate her good intentions, the decisions on how you raise your daughter will be made by you and your husband (?) only.

Or just tell her "You raised your kids, let me raise mine."

Answer 2

Some things, more than others, make sense.

Make sure your daughter wants to do the acting, every time she has a rehearsal or performance. She needs the freedom to say she doesn't want to do it anymore without feeling like she has to to satisfy you. Also, make sure that she is still getting time to do the other more important things, like schoolwork, having friends, sleeping and playing enough, and that she is not dealing with people you wouldn't let her hang out with otherwise (I've been in theater... it's a little more vocal, "literate", questionable crowd a lot of times -- though certainly not everyone is). The play should be way down on the list of priorities.

The purpose of the two-piece is to highlight the woman's body. I don't think it's cute to see little girls in women's clothing of any kid. However, this is a relatively common thing, and I realize the little girls aren't doing anything provacative or sexual, but I just have to say that I wouldn't let my child wear them.

At her age, I wouldn't allow her to do something because it's not the worst she could do. I wouldn't let her watch an inappropriate show just because there are other, more inappropriate shows out there. However, the Drake and Josh thing is a little ridiculous.

Whatever your mom says, take it with a grain of salt. Consider whether she has a point on something, thank her for the advice, then throw out what you think is absolute rubbish.

Answer 3

I know how you feel. I really do. You most likely can never change what is happening with your mother. For some reason it seems that many mothers who already raised their kids know better than everyone else. You sound as though you are doing a fine job with your daughter. A 2 piece bathing suit is okay. It isn't a thong right so it's not inappropriate, in my opinion.

Keep up the good work and sometimes like I had to do you have to bite your tongue. Your mom will most likely come in useful for times when you need her advice and her help so try to keep things peaceful.

Best of luck to you.

Pam

Answer 4

My daughter is almost about to be 10 years old. They are in a sense going through puberty and we really need to keep our eyes and ears out for things. I bought a two peice for my daughter and my mother thinks it's innapropriate, and she's probably right, but she doesn't wear it anywhere but the pool where I am and our backyard, plus its not really revealing, it's cute. As far as the shows, you are the parent and as long as you know the content of the shows and what it's teaching and portraying to your preadolescent...then that should be your descision as well.
It's natural for boys to hit on girls. I tell my daughter that...but I also tell her that she shouldn't beleive everything she hears from a boy because they will tell you things and try things that are innapropriate at times. That is my job as a parent. She is too young to make a moral judgement yet or anything like that. My 9 y/o is just that nine and she's very impressionable and she's still learning about life and as her mom it's still my job to protect her and keep her aware of things, and still let her have some freedom to make some descisions that are age appropriate.
Although I can see why your mother might be concerned, I can also see that mom has not cut the apron strings from you. I had this same problem with my mom until I put my foot down one day and told her. I told her that her job raising me is done, and I respect that she is still my mother, but her job has changed a bit. I still ask her advice at times, but I am free to make up my own mind. She understands now. So I think in essence that your problem isn't with you and your daughter, the issues lie with your mother and you. Best wishes with all of this! ~

Answer 5

Tell her to back off. You are raising your daughter to be a fine young woman and letting her have some freedom is not a crime. We don't live in the 1700's where a boy can't flirt with a girl on tv. Nick does not show any shows inappropriate for ages 10-12. So she needs to keep her mouth shut because you are the mother and you decide what is best for your daughter.

Answer 6

I am sure that your mother means well and only wants the best for your daughter but she is YOUR daughter. Sit her down and have a talk with her. Tell her that she has raised her children and that now it is your turn. If you want advice about something you will ask her about it but from now on you will make the decisions that involve your daughter the best that you know how. I am sure that she will grow up to be a wonderful person. Good Luck

Answer 7

this is your daughter. my daughter is 17 months old and i'm having the same problem with my mother in law. i know she means well, but she needs to understand that she is my daughter. same for your mother. you have to raise her, you are her mother. just let her know that her suggestions are nice, but you would solicit her when needed. if you don't put a stop to this, it will never end. you have to understand that what you feel is right for your daughter can only come from you, not someone else. good luck :)

Answer 8

Just tell your mom that your daughter is your child and you are going to raise her the way you want to. Your daughter is going to be exposed to many of these things throughout her life, anyways, like in school and stuff.

Answer 9

If you don't stand your ground now, the tension will only get worse. Be firm but polite at the same time and say something along the lines of "Mom, I respect your opinion but this is my daughter and I am going to raise her how I feel is appropriate, regardless of what you think."

Answer 10

well it is hard to have to hear your mom telling you how to raise your own children the best thing to do is to just let her talk but you dont have to do what she says i have a mother inlaw that also does the same thing to me and it makes me so angry sometimes but in the end i just do what i want hope this helps