my boyfriend hates fat ppl!?

Question

ok...every time my boyfriend sees a fat person, he is really rude....he cringes and says, "oh gosh, can't look; can't look!" he doesn't let them know what he is doing that over, but i know why, and i find it very rude! i don't think skinny ppl are any more beautiful than overweight ppl, and he even used to be a little overweight himself! how can i get him to stop doing this w/o getting him mad? he's so nice other than this!

i just thought that since lots of ppl assumed we were young b/c of his immaturity, i'd inform you that he is 19 and should have outgrown this phase...lol...but really!

Answer 1

your boyfriend must be very young. Are you guys in your teens? Well give him some time, he would be over. wait till nature starts to give him some fat action....

Answer 2

Since being overweight and obese is becoming more common in our society, are you going to have to hear him be like this over and over again? It will get to be very tiresome and if it really bothers you will need to tell him somehow. If you tell him that he is being discriminatory and that it is unacceptable behavior and that you want to be with someone who is non-judgmental, he might get angry. But it is worth the risk. Suppose you happen to gain some weight in the future? Suppose you have a close friend or family member who is heavier than average? Suppose you decide to have children down the road? You want to raise your kids in an atmosphere of acceptance. How would he react then?

The fact that he once was overweight should make him more sensitive and you can point this out. You can also tell him in a way that shouldn't cause him to react: "Honey, I wish you wouldn't make comments about overweight people. My good friend X is a little larger than average." Or, "I am really surprised that you would say such things about overweight people, given the fact that you once were a little larger than average." He might just knock it off.

Answer 3

Hi,
Firstly, I am not a fat person. I hated fat people too. Until I learned that some fat people have illness (kidney problems etc.,) that make them swallow up so badly. It happened to my neighbor and one of my classmate in front of my eyes. You can not change anybody unless he/she wants to be changed. I really think he needs grow up and mind his own business, possibly he can spend his time for more productive stuff. But I think you are a nice person, so I can share with you my opinion. You can tell him that what he does about fat people makes him look like immature and childish. It may make him mad, but if he does not understand that, there is nothing you can do. He definitely needs grow up. You must tell him directly that it is unacceptable for you how he acts towards fat people. He needs to know that you are not his supporter and you do not like it, so he should stop. Obviously he has a weakness too, only in other form. Good Luck.

Answer 4

There are a few things you can do:

- the next time he does this say "oh look at her, i think she's really pretty"

- ask him if he would still find you attractive if you gained weight.

- this sounds mean but, after he does this, rub his belly and say "awwww look at this "cute" pudgy belly of urs" and kind of squeeze what ever fat you can.

*-*-*-*-*Seriously, if he cares about you enough he will understand. just open up to him and let him know how you feel about these rude comments of his. if he loves you, he will not get mad and work on not insulting fat people.

** Luisamapacha i guess can't look in a mirror then. lol

Answer 5

I feel ya! I never understood that either. Out of the 4 years me and my boyfriend have been together, he's only been shopping with me 2 times. I don't see any sense in making him come with me to the mall. He'll see the outfits that I bought when I get home. No need in torturing him for 5 hours! LOL

Answer 6

WOW your boyfriend is super mean and apparently there are a lot of shallow people on here. Tell him if he doesnt want to be fat then he doesnt have to be but who is he to decide what other people should do. I have friends who are fat and they are some of the smartest and nicest people I know. I used to be fat to but I am understanding of them not sickened by them and tell your boyfriend that just because someone is fat doesnt mean they are stupid when he say comments like that they know what he is talking about.
Hopefull he will grow out of it cause it sounds like he is probally 12 or 13 years old

Answer 7

How shallow, insensitive, and ignorant people are becoming. Fat people may be like that due to many reasons; health problems, psychological problems, you name it.
How people judge then says a lot of what's in their heart. You don't mention it but does he thinks he's perfect? if he is even close to being perfect (I mean physically) he's heart is a cold and his mind so poor that I wonder how much can you love somebody like that.
I was married to a man like that, the sad thing is that some people used to think that I was like him also (just by association I guess) but I couldn't stay with him too long. I care for people too much to let "anybody" be so hurtful.
You could not change him even if you try but you can chose who you want to be with.

Answer 8

I don't think there is anything wrong with him not finding fat people attractive but the way he acts when he sees one is almost like he has a phobia. Not only is he rude but a little on the sick side. Tell him that you think it is rude and if he does not stop then you might be on a different maturity level than he is and need a change.

Answer 9

I would say you should just let it slide. If weight is important to him, you ought to be supportive of that. Because he was fat, he knows what it's like and what behavior produces obesity. Everybody has things that they can't tolerate in others. At least he is not blaming people for things they have no control over. People decide their own weight and being fat is not only hard to tolerate in out society, it is extremely unhealthy.

Answer 10

There's lots of people who believe treating fat people poorly is justifiable.
You must be very young...and he has a problem. This is only the beginning; this behavior, -in time-, will evolve into a 'loud mouth fat hater'.
He hates the possibility of getting Fat, himself.

*-Fat people are human beings too...
- beside the everyday challenges we all have, fat people have a great deal more of their own issues to deal with:
*-Fat chance on getting a job at most fast food/ice cream places.
*-Almost impossible adopting a child
*-Not likely to get into a club, --waiting in line forever--.
*-Clothing, expensive and old fashioned.
*-Harder time getting around in crowded places.(sports arenas, movies, etc)
-----
He needs to think about those around him, who might be having a weight problem.
**would he make fun of 'fat' mom, too?

*He's sending the message that he'd be making fun of his 'fat' gf; maybe, dumping her before making fun of the fat biatch!!...

Remind him, that all that he hates intensely, is being 'called' into his life!!

G'd Luck

Answer 11

Here's my take on this.
Overweight people and extremely underweight people are not taking care of themselves, ture.... but that gives him no right to mock that person. Perhaps one has had a family member die and is so stressed that they can do nothing but console themselves with food. Or something along those lines, bring up hypothetical ideas on why some people could be overweight and see if he understands why judging someone you don't know hurts them, even if he thinks they're unaware of him.