Are you happy with just one child?

Question

Are you the type of parent who was put off having any more children or always planned just one child or can you not bear to leave it at one?

Answer 1

I have one baby, we tried desperately to get her and i have to say, i didn't know it was going to be so hard.The whole feeding problems, sleeping problems,teething, hands in everything, everything in mouth,temper tantrums, restrictions, everything has to be routine. Not saying im unhappy, i love her to bits and wouldn't change a thing but i have to say its put me off having another, i can't imagine how mothers cope with more than 2 kids. I was one of 4 children, the oldest, and it was a nightmare, the oldest goes without, the youngest is spoilt, parents don't have enough time to spend quality time with each one individually, and then theres the financial side, we can cope with 1 baby, but theres always things to buy.
So yes im happy with just one, my husband wants 1 more but i've told him as soon as men are able to become preggers i'll happily comply.

Answer 2

Happy with one, I put a post on the other day with the same sort of question but not many people agreed with me. Before I had my first I would have said 2 or 3 but I am not that well suited to parenting. I would rather my one child be happy than I raise several children in misery. You have to know your own limits and for me, the excuses people give - only children are lonely, my husband wanted another, etc. Are not good enough, you should have a second child because you want one not to fulfill some other excuse.

Answer 3

I have three kids...my reason? I was an only child and hated it.

My best friend is an only child and is married to an only child. Their children have NO aunties or uncles or cousins. When they are gone, their children will basically only have each other to lean on.

I think if people "elect" to have only one child they need to look at more than just their needs. They need to take into account the future needs of the child. My friend and her husband have 4 children. They decided that the thought of having one or two of their kids left alone in the world after they were gone was unforgivable.

I think it depends on what family support base that single child will have when his or her parents are gone...or if something were to happen to the parents. I know when most people talk about numbers of kids they focus on what they can afford and how the numbers will affect their lives...but they rarely consider how it will affect the children themselves....or if they DO think about it...they consider having the kids a certain age apart so they can "play together".

How about having someone in their adulthood? Old age? What if that one child can't have children of his/her own? There will be no family for that poor person!

We couldn't bear to have only one because, after considering my friend's situation, we didn't what to risk that one to be alone in life...not because I had a craving to be pregnant. lol But that's a whole 'nuther problem for some people! We also really love children, so more than one was always something I wanted.

Answer 4

I am perfectly happy with one child, my 20 month old daughter.

I always wanted two children, a boy and a girl, as I grew up. I am an only child and I hated it when I was younger.

So in an ideal world I would be trying to get pregnant with number 2 right this minute - well maybe after I've finished typing!!!

However, this is not an ideal world we live in. It took us 7 IVF attempts and 5 years of absolute agony and heartache to conceive our baby. So I count myself very, very lucky indeed to have her. I can not believe the amount of joy she has brought us.

I do worry about my daughter being an only child. We are very fortunate that lots of our friends have children about the same age as our daughter. We make sure that we meet up with them every couple of days, so our daughter forms a close relationship with them.

One thing I have learned is that life doesn't always turn out as you plan. Sometimes it's better!

Answer 5

I always wanted lots and lots of children.

Then once the reality of parenting hit me the idea lost it's shine.

I have a fab 2 year old and feel for her sake I should give her siblings - people to share her childhood memories with and be there for her when she is older but am really really put off the idea of going back to baby jail where you are a wreck = tired, exhausted, haggard, cannot go anywhere without a whole load of baby paraphanalia etc etc

At the moment if she was to remain an only child I would be happy but guilt ridden. If I was to get pregnant again I would be very anxious about the thousands of days of hard work ahead..

LOL And even being so candid makes me feel guilty!!

Answer 6

I was single and 27 when I became pregnant with my son. I never expected to get married or be a parent but we don't know what God has planned for us. I quit college and went to work full time and have done well for myself. I never thought of having another child because I could not afford to as a single parent. Eight years later I met my husband and he adopted my son as his own. At first my son asked if we would have another child but we explained that we really could not afford another one but if I became pregnant then we would. We are both happy with just one child and prefer to live within our means. If our financial situation changes then I would be open to adoption. Besides in ten yrs or so I'll probably be a grandparent.

Answer 7

My son is an only child. He is now 21 and remains glad that he was.
It's too general to say that it hurts the child or that it's a selfish thing to do.
All children, in fact all people are different and being alone suited my son's personality.
So, however many children you choose to have, some of them will grow up happy and some will not. I was the middle of three children and I wished and wished that I didn't have my sisters, selfish as it may sound.

Answer 8

I like the thought of having another child. I always thought it would be lovely for my boy to have a little brother/sister.
But I went through a very rough time with my hormones and with my boy for the first 1 1/2 years. It was horrible but I wouldn't change a thing and I don't think I will be having anymore. I am so happy with my boy and I'm sure he is just as happy in his loving/caring family. And also he has a lot of cousins and other family members his age that he loves to be with.

Answer 9

I am the type of parent who always planned to have more than one. I grew up with a single mother, and was the only child. This, in turn, made me want to make sure that my first child would have a sibling at one point in time. I would be heartbroken, I think, if we left it at one.

Answer 10

I have one daughter who is 2 right now and she is great. I do plan on having another one, but not for a few years at least. I'm happy with just the one, because I get to give her all the things I didn't get growing up with 2 other siblings. Plus I love all the time I get to spend with my husband that I wouldn't have with another child right now. I'm happy with my daughter and if I couldn't have another one, I don't think I would be all that upset.