This is super important to me. Please help.?

Question

Okay. I need advice. I didn't want to turn to Yahoo Answers for this
because it's a really, really long story, and I felt like I could
deal with it on my own. But I can't. So all I ask for is serious and
sincere answers, because this means a lot to me. And if you can't think
of any, then I at least hope the story will provide entertainment,
although it is a bit sad. And thank you so much for those of
you who gave it a shot.

Last month, I went to Italy. It was for a pre-college camp, but it
was really low-key and we stayed at the professor's house in Assisi.
Since Assisi is a relatively small town, we went there pretty much
every day and got to know it really well. On July 4th, Professor
Meredith decided to invite all of her American/ English-speaking friends
over for a party so that we could all have a July 4th, even though weren't
in the US. Lots of people came, and I met a guy.

He's American, but he lives in Assisi and he's two years younger than me. We spent almost
every day together after that Independence Day dinner, and I had so much fun with him. It didn't
take me long to realize that I was really attracted to him. But after all that time, even though
it felt so short, he had to leave Assisi to go on vacation too. I was heartbroken and I didn't want him to go, because
I didn't think I'd see him again after that, even though I had his phone number. And I kept thinking
it was just a silly crush, but then I guess I realized it wasn't. I wasin love with him,
and I was scared.

So I wrote him a note while we were eating dinner with the group the night before he left.
I told him how I felt and how stupid I felt to be asking him out even though he lived
so far away. I was going to give it to him after dinner in the car before he got out,
but he had to go in a seperate car from me because the car I was in was too crowded.
So I gave it to my friend Molly to give to him before he got dropped off. I said goodbye
to him, and that was that. I drove off.

Meanwhile, in the other car, Molly gave it to him and told him not to open it until he got home.
He was confused but agreed. I checked my cell phone that night and he didn't call.
Later, Molly told me that I should forget about him and that it was totally
unrealistic to think it would work out.

Two nights later, I got a text message from him. He asked me how I was doing
and that yes, he would like to go out with me, but we wouldn't be together
very much. I was ecstatic. I told him that I didn't care that I wouldn't see
him, and that I missed him and wanted to give it a chance. He said alright, we'd
spend time together when he got back.

We texted eachother and called eachother for the next two weeks. They were a hard
two weeks but I knew I'd see him and that was all that mattered to me. But then,
my professor told me shortly after that we would be in Florence when he came back to
Assisi. I was so upset that I couldn't even take it. I told him what was happening
and he said he'd come up to Florence by train.

Then the day finally came when I had to pick him up at the train station.
For some reason, when he got off the train, he was incredibly awkward and didn't
know what to say. My friends were confused and let me tell you, so was I.
I asked him what was wrong, and he said nothing, he was just tired. He wasn't
being his usual, outgoing self and everyone was wondering why.

Then we split off from the group and walked around Florence together. We
talked and I finally asked him, "what are we?" He said "I guess since you
live so far...we're friends, but more..." and I said that it made me sad
to think about leaving him in Italy, and he told me that if we stayed friends,
both of us wouldn't be sad.

Well he was wrong. I said goodbye to him and it felt like the saddest moment
of my life. He called me a couple times that night when I was driving to Venice,
but I didn't pick up because I was so sure that it was over.

A few days later, he was still calling me. I finally sent him a text message,
and I asked him, "If I went to Assisi tomorrow on the train, would you want
to see me one more time?" he sent a message back and said that he couldn't
because he was getting ready to leave again the next day. So then I sent him
another message and he didn't respond. I knew that was the last time I'd talk
to him.When I came back to the states two weeks ago, I just couldn't stop crying.
I've been like that ever since and I can't handle it. I know he'll hook up
with tons of other girls while I'm gone and it hurts to think about it.
I sent him an email to his email adress. I told him that I was working a lot
and getting ready to go to school in the fall and that besides all that, I missed
him and that I would come back to visit my friend who lives in his town
for winter break, and that we could hang out then.
He sent me an email back a few days later, and told me that he just got back from his trip,
he was coming to visit his family in the states this week, and "I guess
we will see eachother in the winter, write back".
It was really short and it felt almost cold and formal. I wrote another email to him
yesterday and he hasn't responded. Well, that's it. Thanks for reading and I hope you don't think I'm insane,
cause I'm not. Now, for my questions:

1. What the hell is going through his mind? Does he miss me at all?
2. Why did he write such a formal/distant email, and at the same time
tell me to respond?
3. Should I go back and see him in the winter?
4. Does he still feel anything for me or has he moved on?
5. If I do go back in the winter, do you think anything will happen
between us?

For those of you that read all of that, I applaud you because it was the most
exhausting thing ever. I think I'm gonna go to Starbucks now and contemplate
why I wrote such a long question on here. Thank you so much for your advice,
you have no idea how much I appreciate it.

Answer 1

haha wow that was long and pretty sad
well ok.......im sure he misses you but he know you guys cant be together because of the distance so he is not trying to get attached
im thinking he wrote that email to you because he still has feelings for you but once again trying not to get attached but by telling you to respond he still wants you to know hes thinkin of you
welll idk about the winter thing....just keep emailing him and see how it goes....hang around with other guys also to keep your mindo off him.....im sure he has feelings for you but i bet he is trying to move on and that what i think you should do to but keep in touch with him just in case....good luck to you !

Answer 2

1. What the hell is going through his mind? Does he miss me at all? Not really.

2. Why did he write such a formal/distant email, and at the same time tell me to respond? He was bored and was curious as to how you'd reply

3. Should I go back and see him in the winter? No, he'll have a girlfriend by then.

4. Does he still feel anything for me or has he moved on? he never really had feelings, it was an amusing summer diversion.

5. If I do go back in the winter, do you think anything will happen between us? No, he'll have a girlfriend by then.

You refuse to see it, but he has made it very clear that he's not interested in anything more. He said you're friends, he said you wouldn't be seeing each other much, he said not to come to Assisi because he was leaving, he didn't respond to your messages, when he saw you in Florence he wasn't interested ("tired" sure), he said he just wanted to be friends, his last email was formal and disinterested, and he hasn't replied to your last email.
Hello- I see he's not into you, yet you're carrying on, crying, heartbroken, making yourself sick, and planning to run to him this winter, but he's not interested. Don't you see that?

Answer 3

I think he misses you to some extent but he is realistic in thinking that the two of you can't have a relationship. He doesn't want to commit to seeing you in the winter because he doesn't know what else may be going on in his life. If you were already planning to go visit a friend in the winter than keep that commitment but don't make a special trip just thinking you are going to see him. He wrote you a more formal email because he doesn't want you to get the wrong impression. He's not going to be waiting for you until winter...sorry.

Answer 4

1. He probably does miss you. But at the same time, he knows that a relationship wouldn't work because you two live so far away. He's probably thinking that he should be your friend, and nothing more.

2. He's trying to keep in contact with you. At the same time, he doesn't want to lead you on by being all lovey-dovey. He wants to be your friend, but doesn't want you obsessing over him.

3. If you're going to visit a friend, sure. If you're going just to see him, you might be disappointed because he might have a girlfriend... And you might be expecting more from him than he is thinking.

4. He might still feel something for you... But at the same time, he's trying to move on because he knows it won't work out. It takes different people different lengths of time to overcome feelings for someone.

5. Probably not... You two can hang out as friends, but I wouldn't expect anything intimate. I mean, unless the two of you want to be each other's "fling".

My overall opinion: You two should be long-distance friends. Even that can be tough, but a relationship between you two seems improbable to succeed. Just be his friend and try to overcome your feelings. It probably will hurt if you ever find out he has a girlfriend, but that's how crushes are. People get jealous when people they like date other people... But you just need to overcome it.

Good luck!

Answer 5

Okay , I think you should let go and move on , if it is truly fate it will come around again in more favorable circumstances....