We just moved to a small southern town in Arkansas of 10,000 people. Eveyone we met asked us about our religious denominations or invited us to their church! While my husband was raised as catholic he doesnt want to go to church just to fit in...
I met some moms through playgroups and invited them over for lunch parties at my house, which they enjoyed. But that was that.... they never seem to want to include me or make efforts to make friends with us.... They asked us which church do we go to and i had to say the truth....
Do you think that us not being religious scares them away? Or do you think other factors may play as well in preventing them to be friends with us?
What you all think?
Please nice answers only!
2007-08-06 07:18:38 · 12 answers · asked by Laura 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Without knowing you or the others personally, Mina, it's really impossible to say what the problem might be.
From personal experience, I've never encountered anyone in real life who cared that I am an atheist. This may be different in the south, and may have something to do with what you are experiencing. When people ask what church you attend, you may want to say that as yet you are undecided. Of course, it might not be such a bad idea to attend church a time or two, in order to get to know everyone. I understand your husband's reluctance to do this, but you are new in town so it may be required.
It may be that you are trying too hard to be accepted. Relax, take your kids to the park and playgrounds, strike up conversations with the mothers there. Be yourself. Sooner or later, you are bound to find someone with whom you connect, and from that a friendship may form.
Good luck.
2007-08-06 07:28:21 · answer #1 · answered by iamnoone 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh boy-I really don't know what to say. I spent seven years of my life in the small Arkansas town of Redfield -around 800-1000 people at that time. No mall, no supermarket, no fast food apart from a diner known as the Big Orange. The church seemed to be used as a place for social gathering as well as for worship. My father was a deacon and my mom taught Sunday School and worked with one of the youth choirs. Apart from that there were things like school outings, PTA, Tupperware and Avon parties-those were chances for women to get together.
I don't know if they're scared away. Maybe it just takes time to get used to someone new in a small place. I think if you give them time and keep the door open, they'll come round.
2007-08-06 14:30:02 · answer #2 · answered by Julia Sugarbaker 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If social acceptance comes bundled up with church attendance, you may find the place awkward.
I've some experience of this even in the UK.
Is there a Unitarian Universalist congregation within striking distance? They may be able to offer a social setting without being too pressing or demanding about what beliefs you actually hold. (though they only list seven congregations in Arkansas)
But it does sound as though social life in your town does focus around the churches.
2007-08-06 14:34:59 · answer #3 · answered by Pedestal 42 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can answer this from a Christian standpoint-
We are to invite new people to our churches, for fellowship and so others can learn more about God- however, that said- if someone would tell me, no, I would not exclude them from playgroups etc. If these people were really wanting to be the love of Jesus to, you a newcomer to the area, they would include you- talk to them about it. Be honest with them, and if you cannot find a friend among them, go elsewhere.
2007-08-06 14:27:50 · answer #4 · answered by AdoreHim 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some of my former friends were like that. I think you should try to find people that would accept you, maybe people that think the same, or some not very religious people (don't go to church much, don't go at all). These people are hard to find, but they may be some of your closest friends later on.
2007-08-06 14:24:48 · answer #5 · answered by lil_lil85 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That sounds awkward
If you dont want to be ostracized you might want to go to a church or two with a couple dif neighbors ..so you seem accepting of them. They might take you not going to theirs or any other services as a rejection
If you dont care what they think, then dont go if u dont want to.
I'd hate to be in such a small town where everyone knew everyone elses business
2007-08-06 14:23:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've lived in many parts of the U.S. and I've never been anywhere where the neighbors were friendly. I just accept it as a fact of life.
I've lived in the same house for 20 years now. I've never so much as had coffee with any of the neighbors.
2007-08-06 14:32:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
People in small towns are very territorial. It takes a long time to fit in. Don't give up. I doubt it has anything to do with religion.
2007-08-06 14:24:22 · answer #8 · answered by Fish <>< 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm Christian and all my friends aren't. I'm not bothered one bit if they do not go to church. I am bothered by their eternity but I do not hound them.
I would wonder if it was just something else and your just being over critical of the church thing.....
2007-08-06 14:23:11 · answer #9 · answered by Mulereiner 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I think your irreligious nature turns you off to them. I don't have any advice, outside of encouraging you to Stick With It.
2007-08-06 14:22:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋