How do you deal with someone like this? I try to stay strong emotionally, but sometimes it really hurts me. This has been going on for about a year and I'm baffled how he can do this to someone he supposedly loves. I just notice that he is only like this towards me when he is going through his own personal issues and stressed out. For the most part, I try to stand clear, but other times I feel like I have to walk on eggshells with him. Does anyone have any suggestion with how to deal with this issue? I'm tired of being his "victim" and need to nip this in the bud ASAP. Any advice is appreciated.
2007-08-06 07:03:33 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
When I say frustrations, I don't mean physically, I mean mentally and emotionally. For example, he will yell at me any chance he gets or start pointing out my flaws. Also, he gives me the silent treatment or will flat out tell me to leave him alone and ignore me for hours like I'm the cause of his problem.
I hate to be mean, but a lot of issues is stuff that could;ve been avoidable and problems he has set up for himself. Pretty much, he has a lot of baggage and I know within myself that I deserve better and at the same time I don't allow him to fully get to me. I do my best to keep my head up and enjoy my own life.
2007-08-06 07:12:16 · update #1
I've tried expressing myself to him on several occassions to stop taking his frustrations on me, but he refuses to admit that does that and tries to bring up another issue. He has apologized a couple of times, but for the most part he is never wrong. Yeah, the situation is messed up and really starting to bother me. As far as myself goes, I don't take my frustrations out on anyone. I tend to myself and have been taught to control my temper.
2007-08-06 07:15:18 · update #2
My wife behaves that way. She takes out all her frustrations on me and treats everyone else, including total strangers with the utmost respect. She's like a Jeckyl and Hyde. Everyone says they envy me because she's such an angel. I know the devil inside her. I feel like I'm the enemy. Nothing I do or say is right. Yes, It's like walking on eggshells and it is abuse. I've given her an ultimatum. If she doesn't stop I'll end it. I want to be happy but she makes me miserable. I've decided to be happy with or without her. I strongly suggest you do the same.
2007-08-06 07:15:21 · answer #1 · answered by Kal D 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, that word victim is so overused!!!!!!
People have been asking the same question ever since people have lived on the planet. What does it matter why? People do that. If it is not the right relationship for you, stop trying find ways to change him or the circumstance and split up. And then by God don't ever do the same to anybody else. Are you sure you've never acted this way to anybody, and that you never will?
2007-08-06 14:10:50 · answer #2 · answered by Theron Q. Ramacharaka Panchadasi 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is very troublesome.
Try to sit down with him when he is not understress and try to discuss the issue with him. He may not realize he does this. If he has a negative reaction you could suggest counseling. If he is against that.... then you have a choice.
Put up with it
Stay away from him when he is understress
Leave.
Left the situation stay unresolved, can in the end lead to even worse behavior on his part.
2007-08-06 14:08:58 · answer #3 · answered by ♥♥The Queen Has Spoken♥♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I did the same thing. We both noticed in our situation and came to the conclusion that we needed to have more communication of our fustrations so that we could enjoy of the rest of the time together. And if it is something that we can not get over easily, we just respect each others space. But communication with him and telling him that you feel this may help alittle.
2007-08-06 14:08:22 · answer #4 · answered by CityGirl_loveselvis 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you should bring it up with him.
Just pick a time when he is not mad or stressed about anything.
Sit down and tell him how you feel.
Don't accuse him, just let him know what's up with you. Maybe he doesn't even realize how much he is hurting you. And if it doesn't stop, then it's an emotionally abusive relationship and you should end it.
2007-08-06 14:08:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say that you have a conversation with him and tell him straight out the way you feel. If you dont tell him then he is going to keep doing it and it is not fair on you. So find a time when you can have this conversation with him and if he really loves you he will do his best to chanhe this bad behavior.
2007-08-06 14:08:32 · answer #6 · answered by puertolinda2003 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok hes abusing you. Wake up girl, get out of that relationship and find a guy who will treat you right.
2007-08-06 14:06:29 · answer #7 · answered by Kat the Almighty 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My advise to you is dump the guy. Who needs someone like that??? I promise you that unless he gets emotional help, your relationship with him will get way worse before it gets better, if it could ever get better.
2007-08-06 14:07:52 · answer #8 · answered by Maggie May 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He isn't going to change , he is controlling and manipulative , soon it will not be limited to verbal and emotional abuse it will turn physical, you need to cut your losses and move on with your life before it is too late....
2007-08-06 14:09:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
my boyfriend is the same way..but i told him how i felt when he does it, and he doenst do it as often anymore. But when he does i ignor him and just wait until he gets in a better mood.
2007-08-06 14:09:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋