Now she is working on my brothers & sister & aunts to keep herself in the family. How can I get my siblings to realize how hurt & upset I am & that I don't want her or anyone to go to family events she tries to put together. She put one together recently & invited the whole family except me & everyone went. She left me for other men & she hurt me & no one seems to realize the pain that I have.
2007-08-06 06:51:23 · 17 answers · asked by Big E 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You need to sit your family down and talk to them. Or, write them letters. They need to know how hurt you are. Maybe, like you said, they just don't realize.
The sooner the better.
Good luck.
.
2007-08-06 06:57:35 · answer #1 · answered by naturegirlkole 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seems to me, the biggest problem here is the unforgiven that you have in your heart. Towards your ex and towards your family. Don't get me wrong, I've gone through and still am going through the same with someone in my past. The truth is yes, it sucks, No, there's nothing you can do. Your family knows what happened. They know how you feel , but for some reason they still seem to be making the choice to hang out with her. It's not easy Once you start to forgive and realise there's nothing you can do, you'll start to heal. Meantime, make it clear to your family that if that's what they choose to do , you want no part of it. When/if she hurts your family, they will turn to you. Make sure you have open arms and open heart and are healed so you can help them heal. Hope that helps. I also agree with the other girl, you need to turn to God, He'll help you through this and He'll help you forgive as He forgives you.
2007-08-14 03:35:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Their is no polite way of breaking this down...the relationship she and others have has nothing to do with you. It is between them. And likewise.
Is this fair? Unusual behavior coming from family members? Maybe. Everyone including your ex realizes the who,what,where and whys, of the past relationship.
You have your story she has hers and both of you have yours.
If the family chooses the events to attend then you have the right to, "Agree to disagree" and be totally fine with it.
I hope that the past hurt doesn't effect your future's possibilities with others. It sucks, but so does staying with the pain.
After you find your true, "Split apart" send her a Thank-You card for the release. (smile)
2007-08-11 13:25:19 · answer #3 · answered by Tita 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How could it be that she is "working" on YOUR brothers and sisters to stay in the family?
YOUR brothers and sisters should not be entertaining her at all, welcoming her into their homes, going to parties that she gives.
Could it be that they feel they must stay friendly with her for the sake of your children?
I strongly suggest that you speak to your brothers and sisters, and let them know how you feel. It doesn't make sense to me that your family doesn't realize the pain this woman put you through. They could maintain a relationship with her for the sake of your children, but NOT remain in the kind of relationship with her that she had when you two were married. This should be made clear to your family that you are hurt by their continuing to accept your ex-wife as if she were still married to you.
She is still related to them through your children, but your family should be giving their loyalties to YOU, not her.
2007-08-13 19:16:43 · answer #4 · answered by Gal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pick the brother/sister you are closest to, and sit down and ask him to explain what the family was thinking. Don't be confrontational, but do try to get to the bottom of this. It may be just one of those things where they came to eat her food and drink, then laugh at her behind her back.
Meanwhile, ignore your ex. She will either screw up and show her true colors, or your family will get tired of the bribery. Either way, it's time to let her go and move forward with your life.
2007-08-06 07:00:17 · answer #5 · answered by KatJones37 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Does your family know the whole story...or just bits and pieces from each side. The should stay neutral but maybe they are going to the events to stay close to the kids.
2007-08-11 20:02:43 · answer #6 · answered by SinSister 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it called communication. communicate to your family exactly what this woman has done to you that hurt you so much. communicate to them how you feel when they invite her to family functions that she should not be invited too. you need to stop focusing on her and focus on yourself and rid your system of her. if you have to cut your family back for a minute to get peace of mind than do so. this woman has you wrapped around her fingers and you dont realize it. get yourself together mentally, than emotionally, than physically, and forget about her. move on and let go. GodBless
2007-08-13 23:51:36 · answer #7 · answered by Crystal G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it seems like your family isn't very loyal go to your most trusted family member and tell them how your feeling they will be able to help you better than anyone else online because they really no you
2007-08-13 18:01:56 · answer #8 · answered by me 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i think you should set a date with your ex wife and have a talk., to clear things up., then tell her what you really felt., and i hope and i wish after the talking it will be okey then., and also try to talk to her in a lower voice.,okey., i know it will be okey., just think positive and also ask guidance to the lord i know He will help you for that
2007-08-13 21:34:06 · answer #9 · answered by rheavyel2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Geez... Is she working for the Devil?
Seriously... you should pray. All things will be revealed in do course. Meantime, get your kids and get them into church and it doesn't hurt for you to get some spiritual food for the soul. -God Bless!
2007-08-13 19:41:01 · answer #10 · answered by †Evonne† 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋