Roomate kicks daughter to the curb!?

Question

my question is as follows, my 20 year old daughter is wondering if she crossed the line in a roomate situation, so here,s how everything went down. She lives with her best friend and her best friends brother, she moved in with them about a month ago. Well my daughters boyfriend who works out of town and whom my daughter has,nt seen in a month, due to work issues, came back into town and took it upon himself to stay the night at my daughters house with her roomates. My daughter asked permission from her best friend if she could have her boyfriend stay the night but did,nt ask the brother. So anyway when the brother found out about her boyfriend staying the night he blew up and told her it,s not working out and she would have to move. Now my daughter is all upset and wondering why he got so pissed. I told her its disrespectful and she was out of line, so any feedback or advise would be appreciated.

Answer 1

Maybe the brother has feelings of attraction to your daughter. His reaction sounds like a decision made because of jealously. Your daughter will be better off moving. I'm not sure what her living arrangements are, but if she only afford a studio apt. that's better than living in the existing tension.

Answer 2

I'm wondering why you didn't stick up for your daughter? Is it because you know she slept with her boyfriend? She is 20 years old and can do as she pleases! She asked one of her roommates and that girl should have told the brother she gave her permission. The brother is either passionate about your daughter or a bully! Tell your daughter she is better off moving now that she has seen the guy's temper. Who knows what he'll pull next. Help her to get a place asap. Be a good Mom.

Answer 3

You are now raising 4 children. However your grandchild should be your first priority, they are the innocent victims in this, and someone has to be there for these poor children. You can set limits with your daughter, but apparently your parenting of her has failed a long time ago. Its hard enough in today's job market to find a job, so people with no education and a history of drug use, and apparently criminal behavior, don't really stand a chance. I suggest setting a schedule for them. If the b/f is simply living at your home, he can contribute by taking care of the yard or your car, and your house. He's not those children's father, and he's a 23yr old ex drug user, why in the world would you allow him to attempt to be a father to your grandchildren? Your daughter can help out when she's not working. You are going to have to tell her, not scream at her. You raised this girl. If she can't take care of herself and her children, that's on you. You can "kick them to the curb" all you want, but it won't change the fact that she isn't prepared to function in society and you had a couple of decades to do that before your health condition. To expect her to get clean and suddenly become the person you hoped she would be, is unreasonable.

Answer 4

While it is certainly better to clear overnight guests with your roommates, I think that the brother's reaction is a bit odd. If your daughter and her boyfriend were...to be delicate..."causing a disturbance" late into the night, then he would be within his rights to be angry. However, if he found out after the fact, then I don't know what the problem is. It is pretty common for people in their 20's to have overnight guests, I've never known anyone to get so bent out of shape over it.

Could there be more to the story then you are hearing?

Answer 5

you didn't say is your daughter paying any rent or paying any bills to live there. and is it the brothers house or the sisters...that would make some difference.....but as long as for your daughter being out of line i don't think so unless she is living there for free...then maybe.. but when you have room mates you can expect things like this to happen sounds like to me the brother is just jealous of this guy...maybe he has a crush on your daughter and got mad cause she was sleeping and having sex in the same house as him. its not your daughters fought cause he got mad unless its his house and she ain't paying for living there then too i wouldn't want to live with someone like him if he is that picky..

Answer 6

If she pays rent and her part of the bills of the house, he has NO RIGHT telling her who she can and cant have sleeping in her bed. Unless they caused a disturbance (and it sounds like they didnt because you said WHEN he found out) then he has no right to give her rules like that. Does he ever bring friends over? She was not being disrepsectful, that is her house too.

Answer 7

true she probably should have asked the brother ....but i think he over reacted to the situation. maybe he actually likes your daughter himself and that jealousy was a part of it? at any rate she should talk to him and see if they can work it out....if not just stay friends with the sister and move on.

Answer 8

I dont think your daughter did anything wrong. if she pays rent and bills and has her own room, then what difference does it make if she chooses to bring someone over (to her room)....its not as if he is there every single nite. Her best friend's brother clearly overreacted and her "best friend" should have stood up for your daughter.

Answer 9

the brother was over-reacting.

if he was against his room mates having overnight guests, he should have let everyone know this was an ISSUE for him as soon as they all moved in together (or when your daughter moved in, whichever).

he's goofy

Answer 10

ya know what? ur daughter didnt do anything wrong at all. there is no apparent reason why he kicked her out. she needs to stick with ehr boyfriend and find new friends. thats stupid.