He is bipolar and refuses to take medication. He works partime but does not contribute at all. He spends his money on Starbucks and cigarettes. I won't let him smoke in the house but if I'm gone he does it anyway.
2007-08-06 05:31:59 · 18 answers · asked by Dotties 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Give him notice to move out. If he refuses then when he is gone put his stuff outside and change the door locks.
2007-08-06 05:37:02 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You have to take care of yourself and your things too. He is 34 years old. Bi-polar is NOT a serious excuse! Especially because he is refusing to take medication.
Tell him that he must start taking medication in order to continue living with you and that additionally he must remain clean & clean up after himself.
If you don't show some tough love, what will happen when you're not around as a cushion for him? The world will eat him -- It's for his own good! Best of luck to you.
2007-08-06 05:37:13 · answer #2 · answered by spandit 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Dotties you can remove him from your residence if he does not abide by your conditions. Bipolar are not he has to respect your home and should be responsible enough to pay his own way and clean up after himself at that age. If neither of his parents want him to live with them then perhaps there is a semi-independent living arrangement that could be arranged where he would have a staff member with some mental health organization check in on him daily. Best of luck.
2007-08-06 05:36:48 · answer #3 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
His being bipolar is not an excuse for his actions. He obviously doesn't respect you and by not taking his meds he really doesn't seem to want to help himself. Put your foot down. Tell him to get on his meds. If he does and starts to clean up his act, fine, take it from there. You can probably work it out.
However, if he still refuses to take meds tell him to get another place, because you refuse to put up with his crap. He needs a good kick in the butt, because otherwise he will continue on this same track. You don't have to put up with him.
Start thinking of yourself more. Good Luck!!!!
2007-08-06 05:59:51 · answer #4 · answered by Paulette S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him frankly and scare him a bit. Since he's leaving with you he's in your possession so he must know how your house rules are and tell him that you have your limitations too. Before you can do anything that both of you would like he should start to behave properly while he's with you. Give him obligations so that he will understand somehow he would share something on your house like his share while he's living with you. Tell him those so he would know that he has obligations to give some share with you. If he doesn't like suggests him to better find a place on his own.
2007-08-06 05:42:06 · answer #5 · answered by ☺ĦЄŖ§ĦЄ¥☺ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be supportive of him in any way you may. i could seek for advice from a legal expert approximately his concern along with his mom and dad, and say which you're fearing for his protection, the two mentally and bodily. There are web content that must be very solid for him, and additionally see in case you may get him into some counseling via his college to verify his melancholy would not worsen.
2016-10-01 12:30:31 · answer #6 · answered by cris 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi....
when your nephew moved in with you, did you set down ground rules?
i have bipolar disorder too, but i'm 50, not 34.
just because a person is bipolar doesn't mean they have to be a slob all of the time or irresponsible. perhaps your nephew needs to guidance, direction and THERAPY? bipolar disorder is manageable for the most part, and therapy helps (when the person is WILLING to get help and learn some coping and other life skills).
you know, it's your home and you have the right to set rules and conditions. you could consider talking with him and telling him that you've decided to set down ground rules for living with you and he's going to have to accept or reject them.
he's chosen to smoke, and you can't control that, either (by the way the majority of mentally ill people do smoke because nicotine gives the brain a temporary lift.... ). just keep reinforcing your no smoking in the house rule.
even if you don't want to take money from him, you can charge him $25 or so a week and put it away somewhere. one of these days you might be able to give it back to him if he decides to get his own place. anyway expect him to contribute in some way(s) every week. -- even by helping with chores and daily living... maybe he needs to become more active and involved with things... chores and tasks are good ways to start.
you can also let him know that you DO CARE and if he needs to talk or has an issue, you'd listen and if he needs advice or help you will do what you are able. sometimes people need support and reminders that they are worthwhile and we are "there" for them.... he might feel useless, hopeless and rejected... these feelings are EXTREMELY common for bipolars, by the way -- and i'm not sure why -- but perhaps it's the looming depression (we can't control it) which makes us feel hopeless and useless so much of the time..
many bipolars are very creative and perhaps your nephew could use a hobby? i paint and sketch and i've really dived into my creative side.
you can also educate yourself about bipolar disorder.. there are many websites for information... and perhaps you could look up COPING WITH A BIPOLAR FAMILY MEMBER or something similar to that? you'll find helpful suggestions i'm sure.
many counties in the united states have mental health clinics who offer free or sliding-scale fees for services... and sometimes other mental health clinics can obtain grants for a person who needs help, but can't afford it.... your nephew would have to do the work to find out what is available in your area.
if he has difficulty holding down a job, he really needs to take the bull by the horns, get a psychiatrist and consistently see him for a period of time -- sometimes a person who has life diffuclties because of bipolar disorder can eventually qualify for social security disability... and he can continue to work part time in the event he receives SSI or something similar.. there is just a "cap' on the amount of money he can earn per month.
if you feel your nephew would benefit from continuing therapy (believe me, it is necessary much of the time), perhaps talk with him about giving it some consideration.
also, it won't hurt to let him know you're struggling with the way he leaves your house, you feel you're being used, and you'd like to work together to come to some sort of agreement to change these things.
i hope things work out. take care ok? hugs
2007-08-06 05:54:16 · answer #7 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Boot him out and tell him if he wants a roof over his head then he will have no problem spending money for one just like he does when he wants Starbucks and cigarettes.
2007-08-06 05:42:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just as with any child - including a 34-year-old one! - you need to rely on the "My house, my rules" rule. If he continues to be disrespectful, you have every right to have him removed.
No adult, bipolar or not, has the right to take over another adult's home - unless, of course, the home-owning adult allows him to. Even if you've agreed to allow him to stay with you, you can always choose to change your mind and have him removed.
The choice is, ultimately, up to you: He can stay and respect you and your home, or he can leave and deal with life on his own.
Don't make it difficult; just make a choice!
2007-08-06 05:48:23 · answer #9 · answered by MomBear 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
like someone else said above, put your foot down and either kick him out or tell him if he doesn't follow your rules hes out. tell him to take his meds, and stop smoking or hes out. hes 34, and hes not you son. I know hes family but i mean come on...the man is 34 he should take care of himself.
2007-08-06 05:37:15 · answer #10 · answered by dallascowboysfan 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋