Over the weekend, my girlfriend and I began talking about making love without a condom (BTW; She is on the pill). Before doing this though, we are both going to get checked by a doctor.
During this discussion, she began to ask me about my previous sexual partners and I mentioned the few girlfriends I have had in the past.
She then told me that she was shocked at how late I began having sex and how few people I have had sex with.
Then, after begging me not to think of her as a ‘slut’, she began telling me about her previous relationships. I found what she told me to be nothing short of horrible.
Apparently, she first had sex with her mom’s boyfriend, when she was thirteen, after he told her that, if she didn’t, he would throw both her and her mom onto the streets. From there, she seems to have been taken advantage of by a succession of @ssholes who abused her mentally, physically, and sexually.
2007-08-06 05:04:50 · 5 answers · asked by Eastwood 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
After consoling her, I’m beginning to worry that she may feel as though she has to sleep with me to keep me from leaving her (something which isn’t true), and that I am somehow perpetuating the legacy of the guys who abused her in the past since their abuse likely is what made her desperate and insecure enough to go for someone like me, who is at best a 4 while she is easily a 10.
How do I ensure that I’m not taking advantage of her or benefiting from the disgusting behavior of the guys who abused her in the past???
PS. She won’t give me the names of these guys since she knows that I want to hunt each of them down.
2007-08-06 05:05:30 · update #1
The way to ensure that you are not taking advantage of you girlfriend is twofold: examine your motives (which it seems you have done thoroughly, so good for you) and make sure that the parameters of your relationship remain equal to the extent that that's within your control. What do I mean by that? I mean, based on what you now know of her past experiences, you may be required to deal with her more gingerly than you would have to with someone with a healthier past. So be more patient to make sure she knows that sex isn't an obligation but a sharing between you both. As her trust in that fact grows... (people have to SEE the truth of your intentions demonstrated apart from what you say because many people TALK a good game but relative few of them exhibit the commitment to WALK the walk)...you will develop the closeness you're both seeking. I'd say you're basically on track. One thing though: hunting these guys down is a waste of your time and energies. Put that energy into treating her well instead.
2007-08-06 05:19:12 · answer #1 · answered by Captain S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Man I dont mean to be rude but it sounds like you with a very emotional chick... or you are the emothional one. I have had a girl tell me a story very similar to yours and turns out she was a psycho. I got tiered of all the drama she brought in my life and she would not let me go and I am sure she is with someone else telling them what a jerk I am. dont get me wrong she was like a 10.5 or 11 but it is not worth it. any woman, girl, female, or person who has had lots of partners did it on there own will and if she didnt like it she would not have continued to do it with other people. so I hope I have helped a little and any other questions let me now.
2007-08-06 05:31:59 · answer #2 · answered by jake 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you could stop showering your female buddy with presents she didnt ask for. once you initiate up on a dating, start up off actual sluggish like purchase her some plant life, then fragrance and dinner, and and so on. do not basically pass accessible and purchase her a gold bracelet exceedingly to somebody who does not comprehend a thank you to get excitement from...not all women are each and all of the comparable yet your ex look a egocentric guy or woman.
2016-11-11 09:02:19 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're a bit immature but I don't see how you're taking advantage of her. Before the relationship goes too far she does need to get some therapy or this is likely to cause problems with your relationship with her.
2007-08-06 05:09:40 · answer #4 · answered by elurle 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You sound like a super good boyfriend. Just tell her that you love her for who she is, and not just for sex.
2007-08-06 05:11:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋