What do you do if your man HATES condoms?

Question

I've been seeing someone for 5 years. We recently started casually dating other people. We never used condoms in our 5 years together but now I am insisting on them since our relationship is more casual now. I am afraid since he hates them so much he would sleep with someone else without one and I fear STD's. What should I do? He pressures me to have sex without one on a daily basis. I have stood my ground thus far, but he just won't let this go.

Answer 1

You do exactly what you said - insist.

Answer 2

Best advice -- Ditch the bum. If you have unprotected sex with someone, it is the same thing as if you are having sex with whoever he has been with. STD's are highly contagious. Also, unwanted children are a very real possibility. Or would pregnancy some how be "your fault?" How do you feel about abortions? Get smart -- he is just using you!!!

Have you ever heard of the female condom?
Like the male condom, it is a barrier device used for birth control. It is also protective against STDs including HIV. However, it is not thought to be as effective for this purpose as the male condom.

The estimated effectiveness of the female condom is between 75% and 82%. The reasons for failure are the same as those for the male condom:

A rip or tear in a condom (can be made before or during intercourse)
Spillage of semen from a condom while removing it
Delayed placement of a condom in the vagina (penis comes into contact with vagina before condom is in place)
Rarely, failure due to manufacturing defects
Failure to use a condom during each act of intercourse

Female condoms, are available without a prescription, and can be purchased at most drugstores.

Go to the website listed below and read more about female condoms.

Answer 3

You stand your ground. If he's o.k with knowing there are chances that he can catch something knowing he's sleeping with other woman than that's his deal. You shouldn't expose yourself to infections,std's and the disrespect. The fact that he uses the good old " it doesn't feel the same excuse should make you think how would it be any different with any other partner? Many people love to carry on having sex pretending or pushing it in the back of their mind the fact that there are many risks. People go around banging like bunnies thinking that will never happen to me. We all know that it does happen every day and it will if you increase your chances by not using protection. If you feel that you want to give in to him then maybe compromise and tell him to use a lambskin condoms but read up on them because some sites say they don't protect against HIV. Now if I were you protect yourself and use a female condom. I'm providing a link for you so that may help with your decisions. I really wished men wouldn't be so laxed about diseases but as women we need to protect ourselves and not leave it all up to them. If neither of the options in the site are for you then as much as you'd hate to admit maybe it's time to move on. Best of luck and be safe.

Answer 4

Girl, you need to get yourself another man. He is not the one for you. How dare he asks you to put your life at risk?

Continue to stand your ground. Never let anyone pressure you into doing something that's not right for you.

Isn't it obvious that he no longer cares about you? If he wants to go out and sleep with others without a condom, then that's on him. Let him. Just don't you do it.

We get in this life what we settle for. Don't settle for less than the best in your life. I gurantee he's not asking his other casual flings to have sex with him without a condom. So why should you?

The relationship has run its course. If you guys have started casually dating other people, then it's time to sever the ties between the two of you and move on.

Answer 5

OK- I'm biased. I'm a student nurse and I did a clinical rotation in DHEC in their STD clinic. MAKE HIM USE A CONDOM. You have no idea what these other girls may or may not have- and they're not selling replacement vag at Wal-Mart yet. So please take care of the one you have before it starts smelling bad, breaking out in blisters, leaking green crap, and falling off and hitting your toe while grocery shopping.
Quite fankly- he asking youto put up with other women and your asking him to put up with keeping you safe and healthy. If he has a problem with that- there's enough penis floating around in the world that you can find someone else to meet those needs. You have an open relationship anyhow, and to me- that's just one step away from giving one another the proverbial "boot" anyhow. Though you may not see it that way- see this: he's being selfish and only thinking of himself in the short term. Feel free to be selfish and think of your self and your health in the long term. You keep makin' him wrap that thing up! Need motivation? CHeck out the CDC's page on STD's.

Answer 6

Take contraceptive pills or refuse to have unprotected sex. Unprotected sex can leed to aids, syphillis. This diseases are not written on the persons face and even the healthier person could be infected since the symptoms appears only after ten years. You can also get pregnant and i`m not sure he will face his responsibilities. So the best solution is that you hold on you position, "no condom: no sex". Contraceptive pills are much less efficient than condoms and do not protect you from sexually transmitted diseases.

Answer 7

You should never put the responsibility of protected sex on someone else. Make sure you've done all "YOU" can to protect yourself. Unfortunately a condom is one of the best ways to protect yourself against most STD's so if you feel that you may be putting yourself at risk by him not using one then communicate this concern with him. If he refuses to take your own safety as well as anyone he may come in contact with as a priority then you may want to reconsider the relationship in general. Anyone who is unwilling to think of others health & safety is someone I woulod stay away from.

Answer 8

There is no way I would sleep with someone that I knew was having sex with other women without using a condom. I don't care if it's only one other woman. That one woman could be sleeping with 2 other guys who could be sleeping with 1 or 2 other women and so on and so on. Now....how many people are you actually sleeping with??? Stand your ground.

Answer 9

No condom, no sex.
He may not care about getting a STD but you sure do.
So you're only protecting yourself.
Don't take a chance.
Especially knowing that he could be sleeping around with other women, and he's probably not using a condom with them either.
Don't find out the hard way or too late that you should have stuck to your grounds about the condom.

Answer 10

Either start using the sponge or stop having sex with him. Your health should not be held at risk just because he hates condoms. DO NOT let him pressure you into anything you are uncomfortable with. Let him know that if he wants to continue to sleep with other people other then you then you can either use condoms or stop seeing each other.

Answer 11

"No glove, no love, baby" and you stick to it! Is AIDS worth it? Do you really want to have warts all over you or pick crabs off your skin because you caved to a MAN? Gross, honey. Just gross. This is not a tough decision. If he won't respect your body, he won't respect you and that means, move on. And what the heck are you doing in a 5 year relationship where you're both sleeping around now? Are you kidding? This is bad all the way around.