I am 23 and he's 27. I don't understand why he would say that he wants to spend forever with me, yet he thinks that marriage is only a piece of paper.
2007-08-06 04:56:32 · 16 answers · asked by carmen 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Guys see marriage as an end to their freedom. If he marries you then he gives up the ability to make his own decisions. Every decision that he makes from that point on will affect both of you, not just him. Guys feel like in marriage the sex will stop and the b*tching will start... just like all of those old rumors. If a guy commits to one girl for the rest of his life, he is honestly saying that we are now one... he may not be quite ready to give up a few things that he feels he enjoys now. Maybe you can talk to him and let him know that you do not plan to change him when you guys get married. Let him know that you would love to be his wife and the mother of his children, not his new boss that he can't ever get away from. Make sure he know that life will not end with "I DO", It only begins!
2007-08-06 05:10:19 · answer #1 · answered by crystal g 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I agree w/ tdeb. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years. He has always told me he loved me and I am the girl for him...even talked about marriage, but still no ring. He wants to move in with me now and I told him if he can't commit to me, and I am not making that commitment (of living together) to him. Some men think it's not a big deal and I don't understand why. If he's not ready to marry you now, will he ever be? How long do you wait until you realize you've wasted all of this time with a guy who never wants to marry you? All of these thoughts went through my head repeatedly! Sometimes you have to lay down the law and let him know it's time to take things to the next level, which is what I felt I had to do!
My b/f finally bought the ring :)
Hope this helps!
2007-08-06 10:57:12 · answer #2 · answered by lilabby1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my sister just left a guy she was with for 5 years because he kept saying their going to get married but he never asked. He also thought that marriage is only a piece of paper. She wanted the legal marriage so if they had kids he would not just get up and leave like some men do if their not married.
Talk it over with him thats your best bet. Good luck.
2007-08-06 05:31:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some guys don't understand or see the specialness or commitment of marriage. If you want to be married, and he doesn't, then the two of you are not a match - no matter how much you love one another. Move on. So sorry....
2007-08-06 09:49:15 · answer #4 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is afraid of the permanent committment and just wants to be absolutely sure that marriage is the right thing for him so that it doesn't end in divorce. My sister in law's husband was the same way but he eventually came around after about 4-5 years of dating.
2007-08-10 04:16:29 · answer #5 · answered by Emily G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you two have different ideas on what marriage is. If marriage is "only a piece of paper", then he should have NO problem getting this piece of paper for the sake of your peace of mind. However, just as it is important to you to get this "piece of paper", it is important to him NOT to get it. So in a sense, this IS a very important "piece of paper" for both of you, just in two different ways. Talk to him and ask him why is he against marriage in principle.
2007-08-06 05:09:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Oh Yeah.. I was in your exact shoes.. same ages and everything. I talked to him and he said the exact same thing. Show him exactly how much a marriage means to you and it's possible he may come around.( I got an engagement ring 2 weeks later.) Said he was trying to throw me off the scent. You have to choose for yourself if you are willing to live unmarried.. and for how long.. maybe forever? I was willing to do it for him, and I think that proved to him I was serious.
2007-08-06 05:46:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why do you need to get married??
It is only a piece of paper, but with a huge amount of terms and conditions attached, eg - who gets the kids, the car, the house, the money, etc. etc.
If you haven't worked out the pre-nuptuals, then you'll find yourself in deep crap if you split up.
Why not just get your relationship blessed instead.
2007-08-06 05:06:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Give him time. To some marriage is a burden. Its a commitment hard to get out of. Let him decide and make sure its what he wants. You have time.
2007-08-06 05:05:13 · answer #9 · answered by RejecT 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, it is just a piece of paper. But if it's important to you, he should be understanding. And if he really is committed to you, he shouldn't mind getting married, even if it is just a piece of paper to him.
2007-08-06 05:05:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋